Dear Liberals: I Want a Divorce!

[Uncensored2008]

We were never married, we're just fucking you.

Now that right thar is FUNNY, I don't care who ya are...

 

[occupied]

Have you leftists ALL forgotten how to have any fun at all? Don't you see that you don't need to concern yourself with whatever the conservatives are doing if we each just divide up and do our own thing. You guys have been clamoring for years to get read of all conservative values and embrace leftist ones. We're offering you the opportunity to have your own country exactly the way you want it. Take it.

I understand completely what you are trying to do but matters of secession and equal protection are not something to be taken lightly, I notice that conservatives think they have natural ownership of our UNION's founding documents and national symbols as they joke lightly about becoming something other than the United States of America. We are stuck together, get used to it.

There is nothing to stop us from collectively electing to split up and go our separate ways. All we have to do is divide up the property in an amicable way and you guys can do anything you want. The Left has NEVER appreciated the content of the Founding documents OR the original content of the Constitution, so you would at last be able to write one much more to your liking. I'm sure it would make fascinating reading.

Don't you understand? I'm offering you guys a country that you can twist and turn or make anything you want out of. Do it exactly the way you have been telling us for years that you want to do. You wouldn't have to be subjected to a single evil conservative thought, policy, idea, or concept because not a soul would interfere with you doing your own thing 100%.

How come you guys on the Left are resisting this?

Because secession is group treason and worthy of getting your ass kicked all the way back into the union like they did last time some assholes decided they liked their stuff a lot more than the country.

 

[Harry Dresden]

Well if all the Leftists currently in Portland would move to Masschusetts, which is what KG is negotiating, Portland could be a pretty great city, yes? Come on. If this is going to work, we're all going to have to be a bit flexible.

Heck, if we get rid of San Francisco, Los Angeles and Sacramento, California can be a pretty great place again.

if California was still like it was at one time we actually could be our own Country....just sayin.....

 

[Cowman]

You have to be married first, crazy.

And also, nobody cares about your chain emails, grandma. Stop sending them to your grand kids.

Cows are some of the stupidest creatures on Earth - thus you are correct that cows have liberal minds...

Not a very smart post.

Why do you guys feel the need so often to play the "cows r dumb and they go moo hurrr" angle?

 

[Harry Dresden]

Feel free to leave.

Islands for Sale, Private Islands, Luxury Real Estate

Sandy did..

Indeed. I am so effing sick of the complaining and whining from the right while they do absolutely nothing to help the president in his efforts to create jobs. The rw's all hate that President Obama has created more than 4 MILLION jobs while the Rs have done nothing at all for more than 10 years. Unless you count the filibustering and obstructing and constant lying.

Don't like it?

Don't let the screen door ........... you know the rest.

4 million Jobs?.....where the hell are they?....the biggest economy in the Country is at 11% unemployment....

 

[AquaAthena]

Love it..

I so loved that, too.... And I would relocate from the scenic beauty of Oregon, to another state, to stay with all conservtives...

 

[Uncensored2008]

Not a very smart post.

Why do you guys feel the need so often to play the "cows r dumb and they go moo hurrr" angle?

Because cows are dumb, just like liberals.

Standard Disclaimer: No offense to the intellect of cows was intended by way of comparison.

 

[Immanuel]

I don't want a divorce.

America is America because of the diversity we enjoy. America without liberals would be a depressing place in deed as would America without conservatives. Liberals and conservatives complement each other. Where conservatives fail, liberals provide the steam to move the nation. Where liberal fail, conservatives apply the reigns to slow down the runaway stallion.

Believe it or not... we need each other.

Now, if you want to divorce someone... might I suggest we all consider divorcing ourselves of the partisan idiots we have sent to Washington, DC? Vote No for the incumbent.

Immie

 

[LoneLaugher]

Let me see if I have this right.

The brilliant dummy who started this thread with a retread nutter chain mail.......wishes us to consider a list of bogus statements of "fact" in determining the terms of a divorce between left and right in America.

This dummy would like to pretend that she knows that this is a silly concept.....thus she has made several comments about having a sense of humor. BUT........the dummy is actually SERIOUSLY arguing the merits of dissolving the UNION.

Fucking quitter. Real Americans will work to keep it together. You could care less about that.


And.......make a list of funny nutters and a list of funny liberals. See which is longer. Dumbass.

 

[g5000]

I would like a divorce from both parties.

The Democrats can keep their marxists, and their high taxes, and their big spending, and their "blame America first" mentality, and their losers who think they are in the 99 percent.

The Republicans can keep their birthers, and their wealth redistribution, and their big spending, and their "waterboarding is not torture" doublethink, and their dumbing down of American rhetoric.

And so forth and so on.

Neither one brings anything to the table worth keeping any more.

Seriously.

 

[occupied]

You have to be married first, crazy.

And also, nobody cares about your chain emails, grandma. Stop sending them to your grand kids.

Cows are some of the stupidest creatures on Earth - thus you are correct that cows have liberal minds...

Not a very smart post.

Why do you guys feel the need so often to play the "cows r dumb and they go moo hurrr" angle?

I've been wondering exactly how cows have liberal minds since day one.

 

[Harry Dresden]

(Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a divorce agreement that has been circulating around the internet for awhile.)

To All My Dearest Beloved Liberal, Leftist, Social Progressive, Regressive, Marxist, and Liberation Theologist Friends:

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound, it is time to divide up our common property and split the sheets so to speak. To wit I propose the following:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT​

WHEREAS, we have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids and for sake of future generations, but the whole of this latest election process has revealed that our relationship has clearly run its course, and

WHEREAS, our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all,

THEREFORE let's end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is the suggested model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass apportioned according to numerical representation. You can have California, Oregon, and Washington State. We'll take all the rest.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with all the wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the OSW groups.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us or hit back when we are threatened or attacked.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Chevy Volt you can find.

15. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any doctors to deliver it. We'll continue to believe that healthcare is more affordable and more excellent in a free market system.

16. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", "God Bless America", and "The National Anthem."

17. You get "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

18. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

19. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

Please sign and pass it on if you will agree to this equitable distribution of property, values, and practices.

In the spirit of friendly parting, we will arrange for a community picnic in about 10 years to compare notes and see how each other are doing.

Sincerely,

Your Conservative Friends


P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

Given this childish, naïve idiocy, this would be an annulment, not a divorce; considering the fact conservatives lack the mental capacity to enter into any contract.

outside of this miraculous post....you lack the mental capacity to Quote someones posts the correct way....hey just sayin....

 

[Truthseeker420]

Most conservative country: Iran

Most Liberal contry: Netherland

I choose Netherland.

 

[Ernie S.]

B-b-but..

I live in the Pacific NW! Can we trade out Oregon for Massachusetts?

I really have no strong opinions on that, so write it up and we can sure put it to a vote. Actually the conservatives could use a bit of Pacific coastline and that would also give the other side a bit of Atlantic coastline so that should be a win-win proposition.

Dot.com, I have already acknowledged that you hate the so-called 'trickle down' part which is why I assigned it to the conservative side. You guys would be free to put together any economy that you wanted to have with nobody to stop you. Don't you like that idea?

We'll take San Diego so OUR Pacific Fleet wouldn't be based in a foreign Country, and Oregon and give the libs the East coast from Maryland to the Mass/ New Hampshire border. I would suggest the Progressive States of America make San Francisco their Capitol. We'll take Birmingham.

 

[Harry Dresden]

We were never married, we're just fucking you.

it takes two to fuck...........except in Chris and Francos cases....

 

[C_Clayton_Jones]

Liberals don’t have a problem with conservatives – it’s the rightwing extremists, the TPM nitwits, and the social conservatives who are making life difficult in America today.

 

[Foxfyre]

I don't want a divorce.

America is America because of the diversity we enjoy. America without liberals would be a depressing place in deed as would America without conservatives. Liberals and conservatives complement each other. Where conservatives fail, liberals provide the steam to move the nation. Where liberal fail, conservatives apply the reigns to slow down the runaway stallion.

Believe it or not... we need each other.

Now, if you want to divorce someone... might I suggest we all consider divorcing ourselves of the partisan idiots we have sent to Washington, DC? Vote No for the incumbent.

Immie

I dunno Immie. To hear the liberals talk, everything would be perfect without us conservatives. I don't think you'll be successful in convincing them that conservatives have any value at all. Of course reconciliation is the preferred route for all, but it just isn't happening. So an amicable divorce seems the best solution for all.

The problem is the conservatives can see that in our mythical hypothesis here.
The leftists aren't able to let go of the hate long enough to have any fun at all with this.

You see the problem?

 

[freedombecki]

I lived in California and Oregon, 5 years apiece and have visited Washington. They're keepers. So, I don't want a divorce. Strategically, they're on the front line if North Korea or anyone else in the Far East decides to send missiles over here. They are among the best Americans, are generous to other people, and host artists, technology, and more foreigners than most states.

I don't want a divorce from the liberals. I want them to have their cake and eat it too--after it's paid for.

 

[Foxfyre]

I would like a divorce from both parties.

The Democrats can keep their marxists, and their high taxes, and their big spending, and their "blame America first" mentality, and their losers who think they are in the 99 percent.

The Republicans can keep their birthers, and their wealth redistribution, and their big spending, and their "waterboarding is not torture" doublethink, and their dumbing down of American rhetoric.

And so forth and so on.

Neither one brings anything to the table worth keeping any more.

Seriously.

Oh geez. You want a third country? That's going to take a lot of work. So which choices on the list do you want for your country? Those assigned to the liberals? Or those assigned to the conservatives?

 

[Harry Dresden]

Not a very smart post.

Why do you guys feel the need so often to play the "cows r dumb and they go moo hurrr" angle?

Because cows are dumb, just like liberals.

Standard Disclaimer: No offense to the intellect of cows was intended by way of comparison.

not all Liberals are dumb Unc.....there are plenty here who are just as frustrated as anyone else.....its the ones like Dean,Chris, Dudly,Frankie and TM's.....they who can only see one thing....what they are told to see....