Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
- 7,706
- 8,122
- 2,138
- Banned
- #1
So here’s the deal. My Rolex AD, Ryan, bangs every chick offered up to him for sacrifice by his customers, if you know what I mean. He has shagged my wife a couple times, my mom, a cousin, and both my sisters. You know the game. You get put on a waitlist for a particular model Rollie boi. But doing favors for the AD may move you up on the waitlist. So dudes get their wifeys to fuck the AD. It’s SOP.
Well, Ryan’s wife finally caught on to Ryan’s sexual indiscretions at work and made his life hell. Ryan eventually managed to smooth things out, though. See, he did not want to go through a messy and costly divorce and lose his ass. Plus, he and the little lady have 3 kids together. So he had to make some concessions in the marriage.
One of the terms of the deal required that she be allowed to fuck some other dude as payback. Now, normally, most men like Ryan would reject such Tomcuckery outright. But there was a variable at play here: Ryan’s wife is fucking HIDEOUS. She is one of those chicks who looks ok and doable when they are young and fresh, though certainly nothing you would look at twice. But then, once several kids have been birthed they get fat and gross. This is what happened to Ryan’s wife. Ryan was never going to touch that gross blob again, so her fucking another dude meant nothing to him. But unless he satisfies her the marriage will be over. I feel sorry for him because of this. Fate has played Ryan a shit hand. Imagine being tethered to an ugly woman you cannot get it up for. What a fucking nightmare!
Anyway, Ryan called me late one afternoon. I saw his name on my phone when he called and almost shit myself!! I am currently on waitlists with Ryan for 5 different Rolex pieces, and I thought this may be “The Call” for one of them. Unfortunately, it was not. However, it was an opportunity of some promise.
Ryan promised he would put me to the top of the list for a new Hulk if I went to his house and fucked his wife. To his credit, Ryan shot straight with me and told me what kind of physical train wreck his wife is. His main concern is making the slug happy so she will not sue him for divorce and take his shit.
I thought to myself, “Sure. I can fuck her. I mean, how bad can it be, really?” Then I decided to see if I could turn Ryan’s dilemma to my advantage. I told Ryan that I would fuck his wife, but only if I am moved to the top of the list for that Daytona I want. Ryan immediately responded, “Fuck off, fuck face!”, then abruptly hung up on me.
Knowing I overplayed my hand I immediately redialed Ryan and told him I would do it for the Hulk. But because I fucked up with Ryan and forgot my place I had to now fuck his wife AND buy 2 Tudors and a Cellini from him. I agreed.
I showed up at Ryan’s house at the designated time. Ryan let me in, shook my hand, and thanked me for doing this. He then called out for his wife so I could meet her. He called “Mary!! Mary!!! Get your fat fucking ass out here. Your charity fuck is here!!” Ryan said “Good luck”, and left the house hastily.
I will refrain from all of the gory details that follow. I know that there are those out there who may have delicate sensibilities due to their old fashioned upbringing. However, I will mention that my night ended in the hospital because Mary, while trying to ride my cock, bouncing up and down on it, came down the wrong way on it with all 315lbs of her weight and broke it. She broke my cock. It bent suddenly and violently to my left and stood at a 90 degree angle to the lower half of my shaft. I was immediately hit with a pain so horrible, with an inhuman soul crushing intensity. I cried out. My dick flesh and subcutaneous membrane actually ripped, causing a torrent of my blood to shoot out to the right, splattering all over Mary’s Van Gogh print hanging on her wall.
Demonstrating what an absolutely horrible **** she is, Mary said she would drive me to the ER, but only after she orgasms. I barely heard her as I was balled up in the fetal position, both hands cupping my broken wang, and whimpering like a dying dog. “Stop whining, you little sissy!! Here, I’ll fix your little pencil dick. Then after you get me off I will take you to the ER. Look, most of the blood has already drained out”, said Mary.
Mary got me on my back and reattached the torn off part of my penis. To hold it in place, she wrapped duct tape around it. “See, I bet it hardly hurts now, huh?”, she said. In fact, the pain was subsiding somewhat. Then the bitch said “You did not have much dick to start with, so it cannot hurt too bad. Now get the fuck to work and satisfy me.”
Mary wanted me to eat her out. In fact, she demanded it, threatening to break the rest of my dick off and feed it to her Chow dog outside if I refused. So I got into position and started going down on her disgusting pussy. To her it was sexual, I guess. For me, it was a matter of trying to save my dick and make my person whole again.
I got to tell you, as soon as I dived into that gross, fat muff of hers I wanted to fucking die. I WISHED for some guy in an airplane to 9/11 Ryan’s house with me in it. Aside from the typical unwashed, rotten fish smell - and why would she wash her snootch when Ryan ain’t going down there in that cesspool - there was a fucking yeast infection in her pussy. As I paused to gag and try to keep the vomit down, Mary grabbed my head in her behemoth hands and forced it down onto her nasty, sloppy moist muff.
She would only allow my head up for just long enough to get a little air and then she would shove it back in there. I puked right into Mary’s pussy. I really wished I had not had that salmon and shrimp dinner at Red Lobster tonight prior to going to Ryan’s house.
All I could do is move my tongue around and suck a little, as Mary was guiding my head around on her rotten trouser trout. I noticed she was making some noise so I guess she was getting off on this, even though I was essentially just a lifeless prop at this point.
Eventually this tortuous experience ended. Mary had her orgasm, during which time I learned that she is a prolific squirter. Once satisfied, Mary told me to “Get your pants and call an Uber if you still need to go to the ER to get your needle prick looked at. I am going to bed.” She then released a large volume of gas from her asshole and rolled over to, in fact, go to sleep. I saw the sheets shudder as she passed gas.
I grabbed my clothes and locked myself in the bathroom, debating in my mind whether to kill myself or flee the premises. I looked at myself in the mirror and started crying. My hair was completely wet and I had my vomited seafood dinner all over my face and chest. A full sized shrimp then actually fell out of my fucking nose and splattered onto the floor. My mid section was covered in blood from the cock wound.
I had only one option: I had to call my wife, confess what happened and beg her to come get me and take me to the ER. I was in absolutely no condition to drive myself. I was dizzy from blood loss. In fact, the situation was becoming increasingly urgent as I noticed fresh blood seeping out through the duct tape. I also heard Mary rip wind again in the other room.
I retrieved my iPhone from my trousers and called home. After about five rings there was an answer. But it was not my wife; it was a man’s voice. I asked, “Ryan? Is that you?!?” It was!!
Long story short, after explaining the situation Ryan came and got me, then drove me to the ER. He said “Jesus, man, I am so sorry for this. I knew it was going to be bad. But I had no idea it would be like this. Truth is, I have not touched that sloppy fat fuck in 5 years. Hell, she scares the shit out of me. But you did me a solid, bro!! I am going to get on the phone first thing in the morning and find you that Hulk!!”
I wanted to die. My wife never showed up at the hospital that night. I tried calling her again around 2:00am (after I recovered from flatlining due to massive blood loss). Ryan answered again. He said “Hey buddy!! You got to wait until tomorrow for an update on that Hulk. Gotta go now!”, then hung up on me. I thought … Oh well, at least I will get that Hulk!!
Unfortunately, my neighbor, Chad, murdered Ryan later that night when he stopped by my house and found my wife cheating on HIM with Ryan. After an appropriate amount of time passed I check in at the AD. Unbelievably, they said they had no record of me being on any wait list for any Rolex. “You must be mistaken, sir”, said the manager, Augustus, “Now I must insist that you leave the store immediately or I will be forced to call police.”
So now I am fucked out of my Hulk and I have a horrible yeast infection in my mouth that has spread into my throat. My dick doc managed to sew my dick back together, so there is THAT. I asked the doc how long until I can use my bang stick again. He replied, “Oh, shortly.” I heard him laughing quietly to himself as he walked out of the examination room.
Well, Ryan’s wife finally caught on to Ryan’s sexual indiscretions at work and made his life hell. Ryan eventually managed to smooth things out, though. See, he did not want to go through a messy and costly divorce and lose his ass. Plus, he and the little lady have 3 kids together. So he had to make some concessions in the marriage.
One of the terms of the deal required that she be allowed to fuck some other dude as payback. Now, normally, most men like Ryan would reject such Tomcuckery outright. But there was a variable at play here: Ryan’s wife is fucking HIDEOUS. She is one of those chicks who looks ok and doable when they are young and fresh, though certainly nothing you would look at twice. But then, once several kids have been birthed they get fat and gross. This is what happened to Ryan’s wife. Ryan was never going to touch that gross blob again, so her fucking another dude meant nothing to him. But unless he satisfies her the marriage will be over. I feel sorry for him because of this. Fate has played Ryan a shit hand. Imagine being tethered to an ugly woman you cannot get it up for. What a fucking nightmare!
Anyway, Ryan called me late one afternoon. I saw his name on my phone when he called and almost shit myself!! I am currently on waitlists with Ryan for 5 different Rolex pieces, and I thought this may be “The Call” for one of them. Unfortunately, it was not. However, it was an opportunity of some promise.
Ryan promised he would put me to the top of the list for a new Hulk if I went to his house and fucked his wife. To his credit, Ryan shot straight with me and told me what kind of physical train wreck his wife is. His main concern is making the slug happy so she will not sue him for divorce and take his shit.
I thought to myself, “Sure. I can fuck her. I mean, how bad can it be, really?” Then I decided to see if I could turn Ryan’s dilemma to my advantage. I told Ryan that I would fuck his wife, but only if I am moved to the top of the list for that Daytona I want. Ryan immediately responded, “Fuck off, fuck face!”, then abruptly hung up on me.
Knowing I overplayed my hand I immediately redialed Ryan and told him I would do it for the Hulk. But because I fucked up with Ryan and forgot my place I had to now fuck his wife AND buy 2 Tudors and a Cellini from him. I agreed.
I showed up at Ryan’s house at the designated time. Ryan let me in, shook my hand, and thanked me for doing this. He then called out for his wife so I could meet her. He called “Mary!! Mary!!! Get your fat fucking ass out here. Your charity fuck is here!!” Ryan said “Good luck”, and left the house hastily.
I will refrain from all of the gory details that follow. I know that there are those out there who may have delicate sensibilities due to their old fashioned upbringing. However, I will mention that my night ended in the hospital because Mary, while trying to ride my cock, bouncing up and down on it, came down the wrong way on it with all 315lbs of her weight and broke it. She broke my cock. It bent suddenly and violently to my left and stood at a 90 degree angle to the lower half of my shaft. I was immediately hit with a pain so horrible, with an inhuman soul crushing intensity. I cried out. My dick flesh and subcutaneous membrane actually ripped, causing a torrent of my blood to shoot out to the right, splattering all over Mary’s Van Gogh print hanging on her wall.
Demonstrating what an absolutely horrible **** she is, Mary said she would drive me to the ER, but only after she orgasms. I barely heard her as I was balled up in the fetal position, both hands cupping my broken wang, and whimpering like a dying dog. “Stop whining, you little sissy!! Here, I’ll fix your little pencil dick. Then after you get me off I will take you to the ER. Look, most of the blood has already drained out”, said Mary.
Mary got me on my back and reattached the torn off part of my penis. To hold it in place, she wrapped duct tape around it. “See, I bet it hardly hurts now, huh?”, she said. In fact, the pain was subsiding somewhat. Then the bitch said “You did not have much dick to start with, so it cannot hurt too bad. Now get the fuck to work and satisfy me.”
Mary wanted me to eat her out. In fact, she demanded it, threatening to break the rest of my dick off and feed it to her Chow dog outside if I refused. So I got into position and started going down on her disgusting pussy. To her it was sexual, I guess. For me, it was a matter of trying to save my dick and make my person whole again.
I got to tell you, as soon as I dived into that gross, fat muff of hers I wanted to fucking die. I WISHED for some guy in an airplane to 9/11 Ryan’s house with me in it. Aside from the typical unwashed, rotten fish smell - and why would she wash her snootch when Ryan ain’t going down there in that cesspool - there was a fucking yeast infection in her pussy. As I paused to gag and try to keep the vomit down, Mary grabbed my head in her behemoth hands and forced it down onto her nasty, sloppy moist muff.
She would only allow my head up for just long enough to get a little air and then she would shove it back in there. I puked right into Mary’s pussy. I really wished I had not had that salmon and shrimp dinner at Red Lobster tonight prior to going to Ryan’s house.
All I could do is move my tongue around and suck a little, as Mary was guiding my head around on her rotten trouser trout. I noticed she was making some noise so I guess she was getting off on this, even though I was essentially just a lifeless prop at this point.
Eventually this tortuous experience ended. Mary had her orgasm, during which time I learned that she is a prolific squirter. Once satisfied, Mary told me to “Get your pants and call an Uber if you still need to go to the ER to get your needle prick looked at. I am going to bed.” She then released a large volume of gas from her asshole and rolled over to, in fact, go to sleep. I saw the sheets shudder as she passed gas.
I grabbed my clothes and locked myself in the bathroom, debating in my mind whether to kill myself or flee the premises. I looked at myself in the mirror and started crying. My hair was completely wet and I had my vomited seafood dinner all over my face and chest. A full sized shrimp then actually fell out of my fucking nose and splattered onto the floor. My mid section was covered in blood from the cock wound.
I had only one option: I had to call my wife, confess what happened and beg her to come get me and take me to the ER. I was in absolutely no condition to drive myself. I was dizzy from blood loss. In fact, the situation was becoming increasingly urgent as I noticed fresh blood seeping out through the duct tape. I also heard Mary rip wind again in the other room.
I retrieved my iPhone from my trousers and called home. After about five rings there was an answer. But it was not my wife; it was a man’s voice. I asked, “Ryan? Is that you?!?” It was!!
Long story short, after explaining the situation Ryan came and got me, then drove me to the ER. He said “Jesus, man, I am so sorry for this. I knew it was going to be bad. But I had no idea it would be like this. Truth is, I have not touched that sloppy fat fuck in 5 years. Hell, she scares the shit out of me. But you did me a solid, bro!! I am going to get on the phone first thing in the morning and find you that Hulk!!”
I wanted to die. My wife never showed up at the hospital that night. I tried calling her again around 2:00am (after I recovered from flatlining due to massive blood loss). Ryan answered again. He said “Hey buddy!! You got to wait until tomorrow for an update on that Hulk. Gotta go now!”, then hung up on me. I thought … Oh well, at least I will get that Hulk!!
Unfortunately, my neighbor, Chad, murdered Ryan later that night when he stopped by my house and found my wife cheating on HIM with Ryan. After an appropriate amount of time passed I check in at the AD. Unbelievably, they said they had no record of me being on any wait list for any Rolex. “You must be mistaken, sir”, said the manager, Augustus, “Now I must insist that you leave the store immediately or I will be forced to call police.”
So now I am fucked out of my Hulk and I have a horrible yeast infection in my mouth that has spread into my throat. My dick doc managed to sew my dick back together, so there is THAT. I asked the doc how long until I can use my bang stick again. He replied, “Oh, shortly.” I heard him laughing quietly to himself as he walked out of the examination room.
