Originally posted by Big D
I am clearly debating with a couple of grasshoppers:
The Grasshopper and the Ant
The Original (Conservative) Version:
The ant works hard in the sweltering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up food supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is foolish to work so hard, and so the grasshopper just laughs and plays all summer long. When winter comes, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. The lesson? Work hard and be self reliant, because it's wrong to sponge off others!
The New (Liberal) Version:
The story starts out the same, but when winter comes, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, ABC and CNN show up and provide film of the shivering grasshopper next to pictures of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast! How can it be that, in a country so rich, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association for the Advancement of Green Bugs) shows up on Night Line and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening News and tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan Summers, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the 80's". Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the Ant has gotten rich off the "backs of grasshoppers", and calls for an immediate tax hike on the Ant to make him pay his "fair share".
Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti- Greenism Act", RETROACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms (whocan only hear cases on Thursday afternoon between 1:30 and 3:00 PM when there are no talk shows scheduled).
The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food, while the government house he's in -(which just happens to be the ant's old house)- crumbles around him since he doesn't bother to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, (which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food), they are showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly cheering group of Democrats announcing that a new era of "Fairness" has dawned in America.
THE END.........