Bend Over And Grease Up!

George Costanza

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Well, it's that time again . . . time to clean 'em out, bend over and grease up. Yup. Colonoscopy time.

You know, I didn't even know what a colonoscopy was until I was in my 50's. Probably a lot of you younger folks won't even know what I'm talking about here. You older ones will though, won't you . . . . hmmmmm?

Let me put it to you this way: they shove a television camera up your ass. Here's a piece of advice from a guy who has seen not all, but a lot of it: if it ends in "oscopy," avoid it.

I have had three of these bad boys previously and I am not looking forward to this one. During all three of the prior ones, I "woke up" in the middle of the procedure and experienced "discomfort," as the docs like to call it. Translation: it felt like someone was sticking a sword through my entire, lower body on all three occasions.

The anesthetic involved was Versed. Versed is not an anesthetic in the pure sense. It does not knock you out - it just induces amnesia; you simply don't remember what happened. Docs like it because it is easier to administer, there is less risk and they can do it themselves - no anesthesiologist necessary. That's the good news. The bad news is that, with many patients, extreme pain can cause you to "come out of it" and, if that happens, you are in a world of hurt, because you are generally unable to communicate to the doctor that you have come out of it. You just have to lie there and take it.

This time, I am insisting on doing it in the hospital with an anesthesiologist in attendance. Not going to come out of it a fourth time.

OK - why this thread? I would like to hear from others who have gone through this procedure. How did it go for you? I will be amused to see how many folks pile on here to talk about how they went through a full colonoscopy with no anesthetic whatsoever. If you actually did that, more power to you. I suspect it didn't happen, but more power to you anyway.

Anyone have any bad experiences with Versed in any context?
 

waltky

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New non-invasive test has been developed that is as good as a colonoscopy...
:eusa_clap:
Non-Invasive Test Detects 94% of Cancers
March 20, 2014 — A noninvasive test has been developed that is as good as a colonoscopy at detecting both precancerous and cancerous changes in the colon and rectum. This is welcome news for people age 50 and over who dread undergoing routine colonoscopies, which require bowel preparation and fasting.
Colonoscopies are used to detect colon and rectal cancers, as well as precancerous lesions, known as polyps. More importantly, the new test eliminates serious risk, including perforation. Using this stool test, a single stool sample can be collected and mailed from home without any dietary changes or medication restrictions as is required with some of the currently available in-home fecal immunochemical tests (FIT) for occult (hidden) blood.

Colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer-related death in the U.S., according to the National Cancer Institute. The National Cancer Institute estimates more than 50,000 people in the U.S. died of colon and rectal cancer in 2013 with more than 1.1 million living with the disease in 2010. In 2008, only about 63% of people in the U.S. between the age of 50 years and 75 years were screened for colorectal cancer, despite the fact that colorectal cancer is preventable from removal of polyps and considered curable at early cancer stages.

The new test, named Cologuard, was developed by researchers at the Mayo Clinic and Exact Sciences. A multicenter trial of 10,000 individuals at 90 centers in the U.S. and Canada age 50 and older compared Cologuard to FIT and colonoscopy. Study participants, who were at average risk of colorectal cancer, underwent all three tests. Use of Colorguard detected 92% of cancers compared with FIT at 74%. It also detected 42% of advanced precancerous lesions, compared with FIT's 24%, and detected polyps with high-grade dysplasia at 69% compared with FIT's 46% rate of detection. However, the new test by Exact Sciences produced more false positive results than FIT.

MORE
 

auditor0007

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Well, it's that time again . . . time to clean 'em out, bend over and grease up. Yup. Colonoscopy time.

You know, I didn't even know what a colonoscopy was until I was in my 50's. Probably a lot of you younger folks won't even know what I'm talking about here. You older ones will though, won't you . . . . hmmmmm?

Let me put it to you this way: they shove a television camera up your ass. Here's a piece of advice from a guy who has seen not all, but a lot of it: if it ends in "oscopy," avoid it.

I have had three of these bad boys previously and I am not looking forward to this one. During all three of the prior ones, I "woke up" in the middle of the procedure and experienced "discomfort," as the docs like to call it. Translation: it felt like someone was sticking a sword through my entire, lower body on all three occasions.

The anesthetic involved was Versed. Versed is not an anesthetic in the pure sense. It does not knock you out - it just induces amnesia; you simply don't remember what happened. Docs like it because it is easier to administer, there is less risk and they can do it themselves - no anesthesiologist necessary. That's the good news. The bad news is that, with many patients, extreme pain can cause you to "come out of it" and, if that happens, you are in a world of hurt, because you are generally unable to communicate to the doctor that you have come out of it. You just have to lie there and take it.

This time, I am insisting on doing it in the hospital with an anesthesiologist in attendance. Not going to come out of it a fourth time.

OK - why this thread? I would like to hear from others who have gone through this procedure. How did it go for you? I will be amused to see how many folks pile on here to talk about how they went through a full colonoscopy with no anesthetic whatsoever. If you actually did that, more power to you. I suspect it didn't happen, but more power to you anyway.

Anyone have any bad experiences with Versed in any context?
I had my first one last year. I had an anesthesiologist, so they knocked me out. I had an upper endoscopy at the same time. Found one small polyp which was removed and non-cancerous. The cleaning out was the worst of it for me, although I did develop hemorrhoids from the procedure that lasted for about two weeks. I know one thing; I would not want to wake up with that scope shoved up my ass. I don't blame you for insisting on being put under completely.
 

Gracie

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I had one last year. I, too, woke up. I bent the bed rail.
He wanted to do it again in a month and I said oh HAYELL NO. He said "I will use an anesthesiologist this time". I said
.

He said "but I didn't get all the way up there!". I said too bad.
 

Gracie

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Even with the pain, the prep is the worst. Drinking that nasty crap. HUGE jug of it. What is it..like 2 gallons? Half the night before, the rest the morning of..and having to drive and hope like hell all of it came out cuz if it didn't you arrive with a shit filled car and brown pants. I only drank half of mine. Had to drive 45 minutes the next morning to get to his office and there was no way I was gonna chance it.
But he did say what little he saw was clean. Again, that's nice.
I told him as I left his office "don't call me. I'll call you". And I haven't nor plan to.
 

Kooshdakhaa

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I had my first colonoscopy a few years ago. I don't know what they used to "put me to sleep," but I did wake up. I was experiencing some pretty severe cramping and I started saying "Ow, ow, OW!" and they must have given me more sedative or whatever it was because I went back to sleep.

I found the prep to be rather anticlimactic after all the drama I'd heard about it. No serious discomfort there. Yeah, the stuff I had to drink tasted kind of nasty, but no huge deal.

Afterwards I had minimal discomfort, went to sleep when I got home. Went to work the next day.

On a discomfort scale of 1-10 where 10 is the most discomfort, I'd say the entire process was about a 3, or 4 at the most. Actually, the worst part was worrying about it.

I'm certainly glad I hadn't read a thread like this before I went for my colonoscopy, I would have really been scared.

Maybe my doctor was just far superior. I do know that the woman I know who recommended this doctor had a hard time with her first colonoscopy and insisted on anesthesia for her second one, which she had just a couple of weeks ago.

I remember when they were getting ready to do the colonoscopy and I was still awake, they told me we were waiting because the doctor had asked for a pediatric scope and someone had gone off to find one. I'm kind of a small person so the doctor was kind enough to take that into account. I know if I schedule another colonoscopy I'm going to tell them I want them to use a pediatric scope!

I guess I'll be getting another one in a couple of years. Who knows, maybe my second one will be horrible. The first one certainly wasn't.
 
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Borillar

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I had my first colonoscopy about 8 years ago. The worst part was the prep. Had to drink a gallon of nasty tasting stuff designed to induce diarrhea. I don't remember much about the procedure. I remember being in the waiting room getting an IV. The next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room.

I just had another colonoscopy a few weeks ago. Again, the prep was the worst part, although it wasn't as bad as my first one. Just had to drink a couple liters of Gatorade with Miralax. I was somewhat lucid during the actual procedure this time. It didn't take long though, and I didn't feel any pain.
 

waltky

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Uncle Ferd don't wanna get poop on his finger...

New home test shakes up colon cancer screening
26 Oct.`14 ~ Starting Monday, millions of people who have avoided colon cancer screening can get a new home test that's noninvasive and doesn't require the icky preparation most other methods do.
The test is the first to look for cancer-related DNA in stool. But deciding whether to get it is a more complex choice than ads for "the breakthrough test ... that's as easy as going to the bathroom" make it seem. On one hand, the test could greatly boost screening for a deadly disease that too few people get checked for now. On the other hand, it could lure people away from colonoscopies and other tests that, unlike the new one, have been shown to save lives. It might even do both. "It looks promising," but its impact on cancer risk and survival isn't known, said Dr. Barnett Kramer, a National Cancer Institute screening expert.

David Smith, 67, a retired teacher from Northfield, Minnesota, shows the test's potential. He has never been screened for colon cancer and his doctor ran through the options, including a barium enema or a scope exam. "He pulled out one of those really colorful brochures they have for all those procedures," Smith said, but he had suffered an infection from a prostate biopsy years ago and didn't want another invasive test. When the doctor mentioned the new DNA test, "I said, well, sign me up." The test was approved by the Food and Drug Administration last month and will be offered by prescription at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, where it was developed, and soon nationwide. It's called Cologuard and is sold by Exact Sciences Corp. of Madison, Wisconsin. Mayo Clinic and one of its doctors get royalties from the test. Here are some things to know about it:

HOW IT WORKS

Many current stool tests look for blood that could suggest a tumor. Cologuard does this plus detects DNA that could be a sign of cancer or precancerous growths called polyps. People send a stool sample to a lab where it is tested. If the test is positive, the next step is a diagnostic colonoscopy. A thin tube with a tiny camera is passed through the large intestine and growths can be removed and checked for cancer. When this is done for screening and precancerous polyps are removed, it can prevent cancer, not just detect it. It requires drinking laxatives the day before to clean out the bowel. A sigmoidoscopy is a similar scope exam but only looks at the lower portion of the bowel and does not require full sedation.

ADVERTISED BUT NOT ENDORSED

The best measure of a screening test's worth is whether it lowers the risk of death from a disease, and it's too soon to know whether Cologuard will. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, which sets widely followed screening advice, has not yet considered it. For healthy adults age 50 to 75 at average risk for colon cancer, the task force backs three methods: annual stool blood tests, a sigmoidoscopy every five years plus stool tests every three years, or a colonoscopy once a decade.

ACCURACY
 

Delta4Embassy

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Well, it's that time again . . . time to clean 'em out, bend over and grease up. Yup. Colonoscopy time.

You know, I didn't even know what a colonoscopy was until I was in my 50's. Probably a lot of you younger folks won't even know what I'm talking about here. You older ones will though, won't you . . . . hmmmmm?

Let me put it to you this way: they shove a television camera up your ass. Here's a piece of advice from a guy who has seen not all, but a lot of it: if it ends in "oscopy," avoid it.

I have had three of these bad boys previously and I am not looking forward to this one. During all three of the prior ones, I "woke up" in the middle of the procedure and experienced "discomfort," as the docs like to call it. Translation: it felt like someone was sticking a sword through my entire, lower body on all three occasions.

The anesthetic involved was Versed. Versed is not an anesthetic in the pure sense. It does not knock you out - it just induces amnesia; you simply don't remember what happened. Docs like it because it is easier to administer, there is less risk and they can do it themselves - no anesthesiologist necessary. That's the good news. The bad news is that, with many patients, extreme pain can cause you to "come out of it" and, if that happens, you are in a world of hurt, because you are generally unable to communicate to the doctor that you have come out of it. You just have to lie there and take it.

This time, I am insisting on doing it in the hospital with an anesthesiologist in attendance. Not going to come out of it a fourth time.

OK - why this thread? I would like to hear from others who have gone through this procedure. How did it go for you? I will be amused to see how many folks pile on here to talk about how they went through a full colonoscopy with no anesthetic whatsoever. If you actually did that, more power to you. I suspect it didn't happen, but more power to you anyway.

Anyone have any bad experiences with Versed in any context?
Real men stay awake during colonoscopies

 

koshergrl

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Yeah, if you don't have symptoms of ass cancer, you are getting a colonoscopy because you like to.
 

Rotagilla

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jesus h christ...i'm 57..never done it..had a few psa screens through the years and all is well there....

I know..I know...really playing with fire...but gawdalmighty it sounds like an abu ghraib torture session.
 

Delta4Embassy

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Men into buttplay know our tushies better than any doctor. :) If anything's amiss we'll know about it right away. :)

Biggest downside to it from what I've heard has gotta be the fasting prior. If I"m just busy and skipping meals that's easy enough, but knowingly fasting is hard. :)
 

koshergrl

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I encourage Delta4 and the OP to run, not walk, to their nearest butt scopery:

"According to 'The Annals Of Internal Medicine,' the rate of serious complications from colonoscopy screening is “10 times higher than for any other commonly used cancer-screening test.” This number doesn't include deferred complications, such as internal bleeding, severe anemia, heart attack, stroke, pulmonary embolism, pneumonia, kidney failure, intestinal obstruction, and others.

"These complications explain why, according to the Telemark Polyp Study I, colonoscopy screening increases relative mortality by 57%."

Incidentally, it's anNals, not aNals. So put your woody away, delta.

Death By Colonoscopy Side Effects of Screening
 
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