Attraction question

[Bonnie]

Do opposites attract, or is it compatability?

Is it a bit of both??

 

[Annie]

Do opposites attract, or is it compatability?

Is it a bit of both??

At my stage, compatibility and empathy. In 20's, 30's?

 

[Bonnie]

At my stage, compatibility and empathy. In 20's, 30's?

Too much energy needed for opposites huh? I agree

 

[Powerman]

Do opposites attract, or is it compatability?

Is it a bit of both??

Not always

But there is usually something inrtriguing about people who aren't much like yourself

It's our constant yourn for something different. In this case different from ourselves

So what are you trying to convince yourself of over there LOL

 

[Annie]

Too much energy needed for opposites huh? I agree

Too true. I want someone interested in current events, but if they like sports too, well that's cool. As long as they don't expect me to stay awake through their games. If I can sleep on their stomach, well I'm in love.

They have to have patience to teach me what games they like, meaning Texas hold 'em, or whatever! :shocked:

 

[Bonnie]

Not always

But there is usually something inrtriguing about people who aren't much like yourself

It's our constant yourn for something different. In this case different from ourselves

So what are you trying to convince yourself of over there LOL

Saw an interesting expose on PBS regarding attraction done in very scientific terms to see exactly if any one thing was the real key to attraction. Anyway this particular study seemed to suggest it was compatability that attracted and it was also compatability that worked long term.

 

[Hobbit]

I think it's more of a mixture. From an emotional standpoint, it can be pretty boring to be around somebody who's just like you all the time. You need some differences to spice it up. However, you also need some common ground to be able to get along with each other. From an instinctual standpoint, you look for a person with differences to add diversity to the gene pool, yet you also look for similarities to keep your own genetic material from dilluting.

 

[Powerman]

Saw an interesting expose on PBS regarding attraction done in very scientific terms to see exactly if any one thing was the real key to attraction.

I don't know about initial attraction but I'll tell you what is common in long term relationships.

People usually marry somewhere within their own IQ range.

You see black people marry white people, short people marry tall people, fat people marry skinny people, etc...

But what you DON'T see is really smart people marrying really stupid people. You have a few trophy wives but those are the exception to the rule. People usually marry within a small standard deviation from their IQ or success level.

 

[Bonnie]

Too true. I want someone interested in current events, but if they like sports too, well that's cool. As long as they don't expect me to stay awake through their games. If I can sleep on their stomach, well I'm in love.

They have to have patience to teach me what games they like, meaning Texas hold 'em, or whatever! :shocked:

In my mind it would have to be both compatability, and also just enough difference that we can both bring something new into the mix.

 

[Bonnie]

I think it's more of a mixture. From an emotional standpoint, it can be pretty boring to be around somebody who's just like you all the time. You need some differences to spice it up. However, you also need some common ground to be able to get along with each other. From an instinctual standpoint, you look for a person with differences to add diversity to the gene pool, yet you also look for similarities to keep your own genetic material from dilluting.

Very well said!!

 

[Bonnie]

I don't know about initial attraction but I'll tell you what is common in long term relationships.

People usually marry somewhere within their own IQ range.

You see black people marry white people, short people marry tall people, fat people marry skinny people, etc...

But what you DON'T see is really smart people marrying really stupid people. You have a few trophy wives but those are the exception to the rule. People usually marry within a small standard deviation from their IQ or success level.

Hmm that would make for an interesting thesis.

 

[Annie]

In my mind it would have to be both compatability, and also just enough difference that we can both bring something new into the mix.

Umm, Bonnie? You've known me how long? Can you ever imagine I could meet someone like me? Never would happen. I'm happy when they appreciate that I'm ok, most of the time.

Now I do enjoy anyone that can keep me amused for more than 3 hours without a news fix. Surprisingly enough, it does happen quite often. God provides, really.

 

[Powerman]

Hmm that would make for an interesting thesis.

Think about it...it makes sense

How do you meet people that you date? It's usually someone within your circle of friends which is usually give or take about the same IQ level as you.

If you went to Harvard or any college for that matter you probably have had the oppurtunity to meet quite a few smart people.

If you dropped out of highschool in the 10th grade I'd be willing to bet that the group of people you associate with is not very educated.

Then take your job into consideration. You will most likely associate with people of similar or at least comparable pay grades throughout your work and business dealings.

 

[Powerman]

Umm, Bonnie? You've known me how long? Can you ever imagine I could meet someone like me? Never would happen. I'm happy when they appreciate that I'm ok, most of the time.

Now I do enjoy anyone that can keep me amused for more than 3 hours without a news fix. Surprisingly enough, it does happen quite often. God provides, really.

Wait...you're single?

*batts eyelashes

 

[Bonnie]

Umm, Bonnie? You've known me how long? Can you ever imagine I could meet someone like me? Never would happen. I'm happy when they appreciate that I'm ok, most of the time.

Now I do enjoy anyone that can keep me amused for more than 3 hours without a news fix. Surprisingly enough, it does happen quite often. God provides, really.

LOL you are truly an enigma. Sounds like God provided well to you indeed. Any man that can keep you distracted from world events for three hours is a god send

At some point in ones life we all could probably use a much needed sigh of relief in the compatability department I think. :crutch: :coffee3:

 

[Bonnie]

Wait...you're single?

*batts eyelashes

She's too sharp for you :funnyface

 

[Powerman]

At some point in ones life we all could probably use a much needed sigh of relief in the compatability department I think. :crutch: :coffee3:

I'd love to ask you out but you're a message board moderator.

That's a deal breaker in my book

Of course I'm just kiddin

 

[Annie]

Wait...you're single?

*batts eyelashes

LOL, don't think I can point you, but compliment noted!

 

[Powerman]

She's too sharp for you :funnyface

I've only met about 3 women who I thought were too sharp for me.

One of them scored the highest anyone has ever scored on the internal audit exam a couple years ago.

The other is one of my friend's wives who speaks 3 languages and holds a PHD in Chemical Engineering.

Wait that's just 2. Maybe I'll let Kathy be the 3rd one after all

 

[Bonnie]

Think about it...it makes sense

How do you meet people that you date? It's usually someone within your circle of friends which is usually give or take about the same IQ level as you.

If you went to Harvard or any college for that matter you probably have had the oppurtunity to meet quite a few smart people.

If you dropped out of highschool in the 10th grade I'd be willing to bet that the group of people you associate with is not very educated.

Then take your job into consideration. You will most likely associate with people of similar or at least comparable pay grades throughout your work and business dealings.

Im not completely convinced it's purely IQ driven though as you could be attracted to someone that perhaps isn't as educated as you but certainly as accomplished, or someone that may not have as much education as you, but has great mental abilities. I would say it's more about what each person brings to the table.