Ask Big Black Dog

[Big Black Dog]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

Midnight Marauder, you are overlooking the very obvious. You are trying to solve a problem with an organic agent when you should be using plain old every day run of the mill sand.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Why are middle class republicans such douchebags?

Why do you ejaculate when you see a picture of Bawney Fwank in a thong?

It might be possible that you suffer from one of those social diseases - most likely contracted at a Democratic National Convention.

 

[Midnight Marauder]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

Midnight Marauder, you are overlooking the very obvious. You are trying to solve a problem with an organic agent when you should be using plain old every day run of the mill sand.

Nonsense.

 

[Big Black Dog]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

The late Gene Rodenberry says that if you mix it in the right amount with antimatter with dilithium crystals you can create a power source great enough to power a static warp bubble.

Two things... First, this is my advice column. Second, Gene Rodenberry is dead.

 

[Jeremy]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

The late Gene Rodenberry says that if you mix it in the right amount with antimatter with dilithium crystals you can create a power source great enough to power a static warp bubble.

Two things... First, this is my advice column. Second, Gene Rodenberry is dead.

In that case, can I get some advice on how to live with the death of Gene Rodenberry?

 

[Big Black Dog]

Why are middle class republicans such douchebags?

mnbasketball wants to know why middle class republicans are such douchebags...

Douchebags are in the eyes of the beholder, be them republicans or any other sort of political misfits. Remember, one man's douchebag is another man's hero. Now, how does a person become known as mnbasketball? Is it an indication of the size of your manlyness?

No it comes from the fact that I needed a name for the board and I love college BB.

It's not what your manlyness can do anyway, it's what you can do with your fingers that makes the difference.

I can play a guitar with just about all of my appendages.

 

[Big Black Dog]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

Midnight Marauder, you are overlooking the very obvious. You are trying to solve a problem with an organic agent when you should be using plain old every day run of the mill sand.

Nonsense.

Einstein didn't believe my math either...

 

[Midnight Marauder]

Midnight Marauder, you are overlooking the very obvious. You are trying to solve a problem with an organic agent when you should be using plain old every day run of the mill sand.

Nonsense.

Einstein didn't believe my math either...

Imagine that!

 

[Big Black Dog]

The late Gene Rodenberry says that if you mix it in the right amount with antimatter with dilithium crystals you can create a power source great enough to power a static warp bubble.

Two things... First, this is my advice column. Second, Gene Rodenberry is dead.

In that case, can I get some advice on how to live with the death of Gene Rodenberry?

Look towards the heavens. There is a part of him drifting around in space in a small little capsule about the size of a medicine capsule.

 

[Meister]

Why are middle class republicans such douchebags?

mnbasketball wants to know why middle class republicans are such douchebags...

Douchebags are in the eyes of the beholder, be them republicans or any other sort of political misfits. Remember, one man's douchebag is another man's hero. Now, how does a person become known as mnbasketball? Is it an indication of the size of your manlyness?

No it comes from the fact that I needed a name for the board and I love college BB.

It's not what your manlyness can do anyway, it's what you can do with your fingers that makes the difference.

Fingers? Wow, the times have changed since I was in my 20's.

 

[xotoxi]

As a service to mankind, and since Dear Abby croaked, I have decided to start up an on-line advice service to replace the lady who had an answer for just about every issue. I consider myself to have a vast knowledge of just about every issue you can imagine and there is no better opinion than my own, so, feel free to ask those questions that seem to have you on edge or inquire about just about any problem. I do not charge for this valuable service. Just remember, you get what you pay for in life.

So, go right ahead - Ask Big Black Dog.

Are you any relation to Big Black Cock?

 

[USAMomma]

I have a question

We have a neighbor and his girlfriend (or wife) that tend to keep late night hours. They are nice enough but for one thing. When they "romp in the sack/roll in the hay/screw/makeout/whatever term one prefers for "getting it on"; they are loud! It sounds like a female cat in heat in there! Not to mention the bed they use must be old since you can hear the thing not only the springs but as it bangs against the inner wall; squeak squeak squeak, clonk, squeak squeak squeak, clonk squeak squeak squeak, clonk.....

How would you recommend handling this situation?

 

[Big Black Dog]

As a service to mankind, and since Dear Abby croaked, I have decided to start up an on-line advice service to replace the lady who had an answer for just about every issue. I consider myself to have a vast knowledge of just about every issue you can imagine and there is no better opinion than my own, so, feel free to ask those questions that seem to have you on edge or inquire about just about any problem. I do not charge for this valuable service. Just remember, you get what you pay for in life.

So, go right ahead - Ask Big Black Dog.

Are you any relation to Big Black Cock?

That's a pretty fowl question...

 

[Big Black Dog]

I have a question

We have a neighbor and his girlfriend (or wife) that tend to keep late night hours. They are nice enough but for one thing. When they "romp in the sack/roll in the hay/screw/makeout/whatever term one prefers for "getting it on"; they are loud! It sounds like a female cat in heat in there! Not to mention the bed they use must be old since you can hear the thing not only the springs but as it bangs against the inner wall; squeak squeak squeak, clonk, squeak squeak squeak, clonk squeak squeak squeak, clonk.....

How would you recommend handling this situation?

I know the problem... Whenever I stay in a hotel it seems I always get the room next door to the couple that sounds like they are pouring water on a cat all night long... I tried this once and it worked real well... Stopped the problem almost immediately. The next time your noisy love-making neighbors begin to do the midnight romance dance - complete with song - stand just outside of their bedroom window. When they are finished and things get quiet, begin to clap and cheer loudly demanding an encore... After a couple of times, they will get the hint. If this doesn't work, either use the time constructively to make love to your wife, girlfriend, etc. and if that doesn't solve the problem for you, stuff some cotton into your ears.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Wrong.

Actually, the mix was matter with antimatter, controlled through the dilithium matrix. Guess what was used as the matter? Deuterium! Know how they made it? Collecting free hydrogen molecules out of space through the Bussard collectors, and processing them into Deuterium in the warp nacelles, then storing it in the "Deuterium Tanks." Deuterium was also the main fuel for the impulse engines.

But, that's all science fiction. My question was not.

Fellow trekky nerd.

I stumped BBD already, might as well just lock his thread!

Why is the truth always so hard to accept?

 

[Midnight Marauder]

Fellow trekky nerd.

I stumped BBD already, might as well just lock his thread!

Why is the truth always so hard to accept?

I don't know, you should just accept it!

 

[Big Black Dog]

I stumped BBD already, might as well just lock his thread!

Why is the truth always so hard to accept?

I don't know, you should just accept it!

That's good advice in any circle... Now, go play in the traffic...

 

[Midnight Marauder]

Why is the truth always so hard to accept?

I don't know, you should just accept it!

That's good advice in any circle... Now, go play in the traffic...

You failed to even begin to give me any sage advice on my problem. YOU said, "I consider myself to have a vast knowledge of just about every issue you can imagine and there is no better opinion than my own, so, feel free to ask," and it turns out, you have ZERO idea of molecular chemistry!

You are GUILTY of false advertising!

 

[Big Black Dog]

I don't know, you should just accept it!

That's good advice in any circle... Now, go play in the traffic...

You failed to even begin to give me any sage advice on my problem. YOU said, "I consider myself to have a vast knowledge of just about every issue you can imagine and there is no better opinion than my own, so, feel free to ask," and it turns out, you have ZERO idea of molecular chemistry!

You are GUILTY of false advertising!

Molecular chemistry!!!! In high school when I said I might like to take chemistry, you should have seen the uproar in the school's office. They were holding their sides and laughing like somebody's pants fell down. We all have our weaknesses. OK. So you found my weak spot. I know enough about chemistry to know that if you see an attractive lady and your blood pressure shoots up and you begin to paw the ground and moan low, you have some pretty good chemistry going for you. After that, I am at a loss...

False advertising? I think not... I would rather you say that I just haven't fully disclosed... you know, like politicians do these days when they are up against the wall.

Now, don't forget to go play in the traffic...

 

[Midnight Marauder]

That's good advice in any circle... Now, go play in the traffic...

You failed to even begin to give me any sage advice on my problem. YOU said, "I consider myself to have a vast knowledge of just about every issue you can imagine and there is no better opinion than my own, so, feel free to ask," and it turns out, you have ZERO idea of molecular chemistry!

You are GUILTY of false advertising!

Molecular chemistry!!!! In high school when I said I might like to take chemistry, you should have seen the uproar in the school's office. They were holding their sides and laughing like somebody's pants fell down. We all have our weaknesses. OK. So you found my weak spot. I know enough about chemistry to know that if you see an attractive lady and your blood pressure shoots up and you begin to paw the ground and moan low, you have some pretty good chemistry going for you. After that, I am at a loss...

False advertising? I think not... I would rather you say that I just haven't fully disclosed... you know, like politicians do these days when they are up against the wall.

Now, don't forget to go play in the traffic...

In all fairness, had I wrote Dear Abby with my problem, she would have simply thrown it in the garbage!

You might do better as a "Ask nasty Ed" type columnist like I was in college, who answers the questions in a very shitty way, for comedy!

Meanwhile I'll keep working on my Deuterium. I can create it okay, just can't keep it in existence for more than a nanosecond.