Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Johnney

Senior Member
Dec 9, 2003
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Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? With elections
coming up, we should all decide. Here is a little test that will help
you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats,
Republicans, and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the
corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife,
and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the
man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
a few days and try to come to a consensus.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Republican's Answer:

BANG!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.....(sounds of reloading)...

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!
Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
 
Johnney said:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.....(sounds of reloading)...

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!
Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"

:happy2: gotta love self-defense and the right to bear arms
 
I'm a conservative republican - one shot = dead. No sense wasting additional bullets. :)
 
Shattered said:
I'm a conservative republican - one shot = dead. No sense wasting additional bullets. :)
Good point. I guess I've watched to many horror movies where he would grab my ankle when I walked by. LOL!! Gotta make sure anyone that's about to attack my kids is not getting back up!!
 
Johnney said:
Are you a
Southern Republican?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BAN
G! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.....(sounds of reloading)...

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!
Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
Yer jus makin fun o me cuz I like ta shoot!
Well boy, shoot er onest and ya gots ta clean er..
Mit as well make er fun!

Oh an a one mur thang...I woodent waste a silver tip on scum.
 
Mr. P said:
Yer jus makin fun o me cuz I like ta shoot!
Well boy, shoot er onest and ya gots ta clean er..
Mit as well make er fun!

Oh an a one mur thang...I woodent waste a silver tip on scum.

Funny P. But y'all's southuhn accaint sucks. Ya heah?
 

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