Angels at Home, Demons at School

[Nienna]

I had the opposite experience. I was always apprehensive about how my kids would act at school, and I have always ended up getting compliments on my kids' behavior. Whew!

http://www.family.org/cforum/news/a0039527.cfm

 

[Annie]

I had the opposite experience. I was always apprehensive about how my kids would act at school, and I have always ended up getting compliments on my kids' behavior. Whew!

http://www.family.org/cforum/news/a0039527.cfm

As a parent and teacher I think your experience is the norm. Most kids are better at school than at home. Same when 'your devil' visits at a friend's home. At your dinner table, "Oh yuk!" At a friend's, "Great meal", even though they left most of it on the plate, the 'cook' gets kudos and thank yous!

It's when there are serious problems at home that behavior at school is worse than at home. The child cannot deal out the problems, but school becomes a 'safe haven', detentions and whatever abiding, for acting out.

I added a 'new student' to my class after Christmas, though I was not 'informed' beforehand. She has an IEP for 'emotional' issues and 'learning disabilities' in reading, math, and language. She is tiny, like 4'5 and probably 85 pounds. Yesterday, she said, "I think I'm going to ..." and I caught her as she passed out. Eventually the paramedics were called, 13 responded. Taken to ER, they released her after a couple hours.

Today she shows up, with 'amnesia.' Mom is called, she is taken to psychiatrist. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I do know she grabbed me in a hug this morning, saying, "Thank you, please forgive me." She hasn't done anything wrong, other than being in the 5th school in a year and a half, with learning disabilities. I doubt she will finish the year in my class.

Her 'father' got married 2 weeks ago. Her 'mother' is getting married in 2 months. Her 'brother' is in the public school in our area-his 4th school in the past year and a half. There is a restraining order against the father regarding mom and kids, yet they went to the wedding of the dad, who kept them until 4 am on a school night. She fell asleep and we had to call the mom to come get her. The 'divorce' was finalized 1/12/06. What are the schools to do?

 

[Nienna]

It's so sad that so many kids have to face home lives like this. My pastor teaches ISS at the public high during the week. He always has stories to tell. Like the girl who couldn't stay awake in class. Her mom had been on welfare, so the girl qualified for free lunch. Well, mom decided to get a job, so bye-bye free lunch. Evidently there was no food in the house, and the mom told the girl "too bad." Didn't care if her child ate or not during the day.

A couple kids that have been coming to our church (I teach the teen Sunday School class) were telling me this harrowing story: The girl (12 although she looks like a 16 yo hooker at times) was left home alone with her 15 yo sister one Friday night because their mom was spending the night with her boyfriend. The girls thought they heard an intruder, so they freaked out and called the boy (15 yo) to come get them. This was fine by him. He was pretty shook up after having witnessed his mother putting a knife into his father that same evening. So he took the car (he has no license), and picked up the girls. They seemed to think it was humorous that the kid had trouble staying on the road, but he assured me that he is USUALLY a much better driver, but seeing his mother stab his father had him a little upset. So the whole crew went to another teen's house to spend the night, all together, in the same room. The 15 yo boy was trying to "cuddle" the 12 yo old girl "in his sleep," because he is a "cuddler," and the girl kept kicking him off. This was another part of the story that was supposed to be humorous. So we have one mom gone, spending the night with her own boyfriend, a mom and a dad too busy assaulting each other to worry about a little thing like underage driving or where their son was spending the night, and another parent/set of parents who were either gone, or had no problem with a bunch of teens of both sexes sleeping together in their living room.

I have a bunch of stories like this, and my pastor has even more. So, yeah, I can see why kids would think of school as a haven, and act better there than at home. Even though this still isn't saying much.

 

[Mr. P]

.... What are the schools to do?

Catch em the best ya can when they fall, and hope that makes an imprecision on them that they pick-up and use to change their future. They have nothing else positive.

Does that make sense?