An atheist in the woods

[manifold]

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees"!

"What powerful rivers"!

"What beautiful animals"!

He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right On top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was still.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the Voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

 

[Diuretic]

Would you like me to write an atheist version?

Damn, no wait, I forgot

Atheists, by definition, aren't religious bigots.

Grooowwwwwl

 

[manifold]

Would you like me to write an atheist version?

Damn, no wait, I forgot

Atheists, by definition, aren't religious bigots.

Grooowwwwwl

Actually, quite a few of them are.

 

[Superlative]

Actually, quite a few of them are.

So you keep saying.

 

[Shogun]

that's a joke Elisha would have enjoyed while applying the scalp wax.


Too bad there were no kids involved to be butchered by a roving band of she-bears, eh?

 

[manifold]

So you keep saying.

Keep?

That's a bit of a stretch since this was the first time I posted anything of the sort. And then it merely gave me an idea for another thread. So in your view, commenting on an observation twice constitutes "keep saying."

Duly noted.