am i being petty?

[strollingbones]

a friend is getting married saturday....i am not invited to the wedding...small wedding at her mom's house family and close friends only....now this is a person i have taught stain glass etc...spend a lot of time with...etc...well it seems some friends are more equal than others...seems she has invited a couple to the wedding who are new comers to the "social circle" this has resulted in hurt feelings on several peoples part. marsh who is always a class act...admits her feelings are hurt but says we will all go....it is am's day and all. i am so pissed...and hurt. am i being petty...at this point i dont even want to go to the reception...which is gonna be a drunker party with bbq.

my not going will be noticed and commented on. but my heart is just not in it now....i realize this could end our friendship for good but i feel like this whole thing has become a slap in the face to me and her older friends. marsh now says we dont have to dress up....and we will make the best of it...i have already rsvp ed as coming....

what to do ...what to do.

 

[elvis]

a friend is getting married saturday....i am not invited to the wedding...small wedding at her mom's house family and close friends only....now this is a person i have taught stain glass etc...spend a lot of time with...etc...well it seems some friends are more equal than others...seems she has invited a couple to the wedding who are new comers to the "social circle" this has resulted in hurt feelings on several peoples part. marsh who is always a class act...admits her feelings are hurt but says we will all go....it is am's day and all. i am so pissed...and hurt. am i being petty...at this point i dont even want to go to the reception...which is gonna be a drunker party with bbq.

my not going will be noticed and commented on. but my heart is just not in it now....i realize this could end our friendship for good but i feel like this whole thing has become a slap in the face to me and her older friends. marsh now says we dont have to dress up....and we will make the best of it...i have already rsvp ed as coming....

what to do ...what to do.

if you don't go, "re-rsvp" that you are not coming. these other friends she invited to the wedding, are they bridesmaids?

 

[PLYMCO_PILGRIM]

a friend is getting married saturday....i am not invited to the wedding...small wedding at her mom's house family and close friends only....now this is a person i have taught stain glass etc...spend a lot of time with...etc...well it seems some friends are more equal than others...seems she has invited a couple to the wedding who are new comers to the "social circle" this has resulted in hurt feelings on several peoples part. marsh who is always a class act...admits her feelings are hurt but says we will all go....it is am's day and all. i am so pissed...and hurt. am i being petty...at this point i dont even want to go to the reception...which is gonna be a drunker party with bbq.

my not going will be noticed and commented on. but my heart is just not in it now....i realize this could end our friendship for good but i feel like this whole thing has become a slap in the face to me and her older friends. marsh now says we dont have to dress up....and we will make the best of it...i have already rsvp ed as coming....

what to do ...what to do.

My advice bones, tell your friend who is getting married how you feel. Give her a chance to explain to you her reason for not inviting you.

If she gives a good honest reason forgive her and go to the reception, if she gives you some b.s. answer then you are not being petty but human.

If you were my wife I would tell you to be the bigger woman and go to the reception regardless of your friend not inviting to the wedding, she did invite you to the reception right?

 

[strollingbones]

no they are not. matter of fact ..last week she was trashing the couple to me...

when i told her i might not be able to get to the reception on time...cause of work...she tossed a fit....
how could i chose my job over her blah blah fucking blah...

 

[strollingbones]

yes she invited me to the reception and has insisted that i get there on time even though she knows it caused a major hassle where i work. this going to her reception has already cost me a lot of money in lost time at work...my boss hired a woman to work so i could go to the wedding on time....well i had to split my time with her...then she quit last week. i dont care about that i am just hurt and now i am getting real pissed.

yea da man says to go to reception and keep my mouth shut....he knows the odds of that happening are not good.

 

[Big Black Dog]

I don't think you're being petty. You're just hurt and disappointed. I hate it when friends disappoint you. It just stinks. Be the "bigger" person in this case. Go to the reception, drink, smile alot, and try to have a good time. Maybe, just maybe, you're friend over looked you because of a mistake. It's a busy time for her and maybe she just overlooked you out of accident. Give her the benefit of the doubt and go. If she discovers you aren't at the wedding she may remember she made a mistake and will feel badly about it. If she doesn't realize the mistake just let it go if the friendship means anything to you at all. Pick your battles. You may win the battle if you make a scene but you'll most likely loose the war.

 

[xsited1]

At least go for the dog. Isn't he cute!

 

[elvis]

no they are not. matter of fact ..last week she was trashing the couple to me...

when i told her i might not be able to get to the reception on time...cause of work...she tossed a fit....
how could i chose my job over her blah blah fucking blah...

your job/livelihood is more important than one day. if she's so huffy, she should have invited you to the wedding. I wouldn't go.

 

[PLYMCO_PILGRIM]

yes she invited me to the reception and has insisted that i get there on time even though she knows it caused a major hassle where i work. this going to her reception has already cost me a lot of money in lost time at work...my boss hired a woman to work so i could go to the wedding on time....well i had to split my time with her...then she quit last week. i dont care about that i am just hurt and now i am getting real pissed.

yea da man says to go to reception and keep my mouth shut....he knows the odds of that happening are not good.

Considering the circumstances I would not leave work early for her but I would show up at the reception.

Did you ask her why she didn't invite you but invited other friends that were not family?

 

[strollingbones]

my head is about to explode...i got to do something....my other friends know how this is effecting several of us....marsh is more hurt than i am...but she is a class act..she was funny ...going...well we dont have to dress up now...

*sighing*

 

[strollingbones]

sweetie i just found out that the other couple were invited about an hour ago....so this is all fresh hurt...and dog is right disappointment...she has gone on and on about how its close friends and family only.

i already have a lady working for me saturday...she stepped up at the last minute for me. matter of fact ...yesterday darling said she would work for me....and then today...i find this out. she was already upset that i missed the "bachorlette party" to work. but i do not drink much and drunken parties with gay meth head strippers is not my style.

 

[PLYMCO_PILGRIM]

I'm telling ya bones either get in the car or pick up the phone and talk the her directly.

Forget the back and forth with the circle of friends and adress it directly with the bride.

It will be the only way to truly settle your mind on things IMO.

The best way to do things is usually not easy .

 

[RodISHI]

Most things in this world are petty when you get to thinking about, Bones. Sometimes it's best to stand back and let whatever is going to happen, happen.... You'll get it figured out.

 

[strollingbones]

sweetie i call her right now....its not gonna go well...i know myself well enough to know my temper....its just too raw right now to discuss this issue rationally....

 

[strollingbones]

but yea, this is not going well within the social circle....and tater aint said shit yet....marsh is going by to talk to her....but i know she is hurt too.

 

[Phoenix]

Life is short, disappointment (while it sucks) will pass and negativity is wearing. Ask yourself whether this will matter much a year from now. Or even a few months from now.

Go above and beyond what you have to do and you'll be able to sleep knowing you did everything you could. After that, it is up to the other person but your conscience is clear.

 

[Xenophon]

Free booze and chow?

I'd be there.

Who cares about some boring cerimony.

 

[PLYMCO_PILGRIM]

sweetie i call her right now....its not gonna go well...i know myself well enough to know my temper....its just too raw right now to discuss this issue rationally....

Get your mind right first then call her. Have hubby with you for support (if he's good at that stuff)

And maybe it will be good to get mad at her, then maybe she will understand how much she has hurt your feelings.

If she is a real friend she will get past your temper and work things out.

 

[Truthmatters]

a friend is getting married saturday....i am not invited to the wedding...small wedding at her mom's house family and close friends only....now this is a person i have taught stain glass etc...spend a lot of time with...etc...well it seems some friends are more equal than others...seems she has invited a couple to the wedding who are new comers to the "social circle" this has resulted in hurt feelings on several peoples part. marsh who is always a class act...admits her feelings are hurt but says we will all go....it is am's day and all. i am so pissed...and hurt. am i being petty...at this point i dont even want to go to the reception...which is gonna be a drunker party with bbq.

my not going will be noticed and commented on. but my heart is just not in it now....i realize this could end our friendship for good but i feel like this whole thing has become a slap in the face to me and her older friends. marsh now says we dont have to dress up....and we will make the best of it...i have already rsvp ed as coming....

what to do ...what to do.

If you dont wnat to go dont go.


If you think it will destroy the friendship by not going then access wether or not you would be willing to go and be willing to check yourself for any behavior that would offend.

Friendships ebb and flow, at one momment in time you may find yourself very close to someone you just met. Maybe it was just that momment in time for this woman. If you value her friendship enough then you will allow for these ebbs and flows, if not then you have your answer dont make yourself go if the person is not worth the exersize of pretending to be nice to people.

They are your emotions and your emotions are never petty, sometimes we just have to dig deep and prioritize our lives.

 

[Truthmatters]

I once had a friend ask me to be her maid of honor. I thought she was a very nice person but I could tell the relationship would not continue for more than a year or so (work relationship). She had a wonderful sister who she really loved. I actually had to shit her down and tell her NO. I told her that it was an honor for her to ask me but that I felt the right person would be her sweet sister who loved her very much. She was insulted to some extent but in the End her sister stoood beside her while she got married and I attended as a guest. Now forever in those wedding pictures no little niece is ever going to ask "who is this lady" instead will look at the picture and say "how wonderful it is you and your sister were always so close".

Our relationship ended when our work together ended.