What's your clean date, Larsky?
Not I. But the date is 08/23/19.
Good on your peep. It's a long haul. I work with addicts. They have more integrity than a whole lot of people once they have been in recovery awhile because they have to be.
Do you encounter resistance to AA because of the god overtones?
I've tried to explain a higher power does not need to be jesus. She's 4 months clean, but that's all.
Well, the 12 steps are a fundamental part of many programs. The meetings themselves are used almost as an addition to- if necessary. There are a few reasons that many people outright reject AA/NA. A lot of it depends on where people are at in their recovery. One of them is that many people feel as if there is a tendency to glorify prior substance abuse. The second reason is that there is the belief in the theory that addiction is a disease and they are helpless to control it as it's a life sentence in and of itself. Less Jesus and more on
helpless and
no choice forever and ever Amen. Tell a control freak they have no choice and watch them spin out. The brain doesn't shut off. Technically, it's about choosing not to use today and only worrying about today. Third is the meeting itself. I mean that certain meetings work for certain people and they have to find the meeting that works for them--if one exists in that area. Historically, AA/NA has not been very helpful for women. They don't have to collect stats because it's anonymous. They can say whatever they want.
Recovery is a process. For anyone that is deep in their addiction and wants to get clean, they have to shut down everyone and everything they have known. They have a grieving process of saying goodbye to friends and, sometimes, family. You have to change people, places and things. People will often say they need to leave an area to stay clean. People further in their recovery will say that no matter where you go there you are. You have to change everything from the ground up: thinking, reacting, coping, and developing new interests and what constitutes fun. You have to know what your triggers are.That empty space between point A and point B can be so overwhelming.
On top of this, the age that someone started using is often where they stopped developing mentally, emotionally etc. That right there can be a killer. Underneath that is often trauma. For many women there is a history of sexual or other abuse, (or loss, etc.) that they have yet to process. Sometimes they don't remember what events precipitated it right off the bat and have to take a little personal journey to identify it. So, if you started using at age 13 and you get clean, where is your starting point?
Then there is the whole dealing with legal issues, employment skills, housing. My all time favorite is anxiety disorders and then substance abuse. With other mental illness and substance abuse following close behind it and intellectual disabilities and substance abuse in third place. All of the above
happening at the same damn time. We haven't even discussed deep shame yet or re-establishing relationships.
Walking in off the street to a meeting is not enough for many people. The same is true for programs that have counselors that are in their twenties or early thirties that have never been in recovery. Now, there are groups out there that focus on developing a community/family/friendships with others in recovery or are just women's groups. There are sober living environments where you have to do 90 meetings in 90 days. In my opinion that works best after a rehab or after a rehab and a relapse. Or your seventh trip through rehab.