Adult Children

[chanel]

Ok. I have to bitch. What some of you with younger children may not know, is that once your child turns 18, parents have very few rights. Unless you specifically ask for authorization forms from college, you have no right to see your kids' grades or any other records. It does not matter who is paying the bill.

Today I needed to clean up an insurance mess, and they would not talk to me unless my son gave permission. I had to make him come home just so I could make a friggin call.Thank goodness he was home from college.

This is my question; If Obamacare will force us to insure our kids until they are 30, who is responsible for the unpaid bills - the adult child or the policy holder? I'll be damned if I have to deal with this bullshit after he graduates from college. Does anyone know?

 

[Cal]

As far as I can tell there will be no "Forcing" you to buy him Insurance but there will be "Forcing" the insurance companies to LET you keep him on your plan past a certain age..

 

[Si modo]

Actually, with FERPA, a prof cannot disclose a thing about the student (aged 18+) to his/her parents. One can only 'show' grade records and name and address of the student to the parents. Even then, I would have someone from the administration present.

If the student comes to morning lecture still drunk from the night before as a habit, the prof cannot say a thing to anyone outside of the university.

 

[strollingbones]

yes over 18 is adult and with all the rights of an adult.....


simple as that

 

[chanel]

Well that's good news, but I am still curious as to who is legally responsible for co-pays and out of network whatnots. The patient or the policy holder?

 

[strollingbones]

why are you worrying about that now? you pay now, right?

 

[Shogun]

There has GOT to be some way to blame Barack Hussein Obama...

 

[chanel]

Because I still consider him a child! I don't care if he is 19, he is still a dependent - financially and emotionally! I am hoping that by the time he's 23, I won't have to clean up his messes anymore. And yes, I do feel that Obamacare could force further dependency. If it becomes ILLEGAL to be uninsured AND if young people will no longer be able to purchase low cost catastrophic insurance, of course I will keep him on my employers plan. But if it will affect my credit, it will sure as hell affect our relationship. Let's just say the boy has no concept of money,

Bones - with your son's driving record I figured you could relate.

Oh and si modo - I had to go to the legal office to have my son sign away to give me access to everything. The secretary said I was the only freshman parent that asked for the form. Most people just don't know. If that bastard child of mine was going to class drunk and wasting 40K, I'd kick his ass and cut him off. That's too much money invested.

 

[Ringel05]

There has GOT to be some way to blame Barack Hussein Obama...

Don't forget Bush. Gotta blame him too.

 

[xotoxi]

Ok. I have to bitch. What some of you with younger children may not know, is that once your child turns 18, parents have very few rights. Unless you specifically ask for authorization forms from college, you have no right to see your kids' grades or any other records. It does not matter who is paying the bill.

You do not have the right to see your kids college grades, even if you are paying the bill...but you also are not required to pay the bill.

 

[chanel]

I blame the law. You can't have it both ways. I would love to have my son become emancipated so he would qualify for financial aid, but it's not legal. So as long as we are financially responsible, he should have to waive his independence until he is actually INDEPENDENT!

And don't even get me started on that HIPAA crap. The kid would be driving blind if I didn't force him to replace his lost or broken glasses six times a year.

 

[Shogun]

what the fuck is he doing that cases broken glasses 6 times a year? Maybe "The System" is not the problem here.

 

[chanel]

I exaggerate Shogun but he has an awful habit of sleeping in them.

And xotoxi of course I don't have to pay. But then he wouldn't be able to go. Why should MY tax money pay for somebody elses kid to go for free but my kid can't? Discrimination much? My husband and I have worked and saved for our kids college. I don't expect a dime from anyone else. But dammit he who pays should see the return on their investment.

 

[noose4]

I exaggerate Shogun but he has an awful habit of sleeping in them.

And xotoxi of course I don't have to pay. But then he wouldn't be able to go. Why should MY tax money pay for somebody elses kid to go for free but my kid can't? Discrimination much? My husband and I have worked and saved for our kids college. I don't expect a dime from anyone else. But dammit he who pays should see the return on their investment.

Why doesnt your son show you his grades?If he doesnt want to show you them then let your adult child be an adult and pay his own way if he wants to sleep in or not show you his grades, the U.S. Military has a great G.I. bill that will help him pay for college if he doesnt want to play by your rules.

 

[xotoxi]

what the fuck is he doing that cases broken glasses 6 times a year? Maybe "The System" is not the problem here.

I think the problem is glasses made in China.

 

[xotoxi]

I exaggerate Shogun but he has an awful habit of sleeping in them.

And xotoxi of course I don't have to pay. But then he wouldn't be able to go. Why should MY tax money pay for somebody elses kid to go for free but my kid can't? Discrimination much? My husband and I have worked and saved for our kids college. I don't expect a dime from anyone else. But dammit he who pays should see the return on their investment.

Don't forget...the college is the middle man.

YOU are paying for HIS education.

Therefore, if seeing his grades is that important to you, then you can tell HIM to show them to you if he still wants you to continue to pay.

It's as simple as that...direct communication with your offspring.

 

[Anguille]

Because I still consider him a child! I don't care if he is 19, he is still a dependent - financially and emotionally! I am hoping that by the time he's 23, I won't have to clean up his messes anymore.

Sounds like he is living up to your expectations.

 

[Annie]

I exaggerate Shogun but he has an awful habit of sleeping in them.

And xotoxi of course I don't have to pay. But then he wouldn't be able to go. Why should MY tax money pay for somebody elses kid to go for free but my kid can't? Discrimination much? My husband and I have worked and saved for our kids college. I don't expect a dime from anyone else. But dammit he who pays should see the return on their investment.

Why doesnt your son show you his grades?If he doesnt want to show you them then let your adult child be an adult and pay his own way if he wants to sleep in or not show you his grades, the U.S. Military has a great G.I. bill that will help him pay for college if he doesnt want to play by your rules.

I have to relate to your advice. I made all of my kids give me access to their 'star' id. I could check their grades. OTOH, since they were paying for college, we agreed to no comment about grades. Since I was paying for their insurance and bought some of their books, gave access to my credit cards when a necessity, I told them I had a right to know what was going on. They agreed.

When one son's grades tanked in sophomore year, we were able to minimize the damage from extra-curricular activities. When it recurred 2nd half of jr year, I advised him to leave and he did. After working 2 years full-time, marvelous reviews by manager of bank he was told that he couldn't apply for position he was qualified, as it required college degree.

He went to jr. college for associates in accounting and to raise his GPA. He did. Now is in a joint BA/MA program at university. He will finish by 28 and be able to take CPA exam.

My other two children got through without drama.

 

[chanel]

He signed the paper. He has no problem sharing that info. My beef is that he had to. But if he got kicked out of school, I don't think hed be sharing that with us right away. And that's something ANY parent deserves to know. What if a kid threatens suicide? Should the parent be called?

 

[Annie]

He signed the paper. He has no problem sharing that info. My beef is that he had to. But if he got kicked out of school, I don't think hed be sharing that with us right away. And that's something ANY parent deserves to know. What if a kid threatens suicide? Should the parent be called?

I think so, but no, the university wouldn't notify you.