A Petition to Stop Divorce?

[chloe]

Someone told me there is a petition floating around in California to stop Divorce.

Divorce destroys the sanctity of marriage and its powerful influence on the betterment of society. This proposition would keep the very meaning of marriage from being transformed into nothing more than a contractual relationship between two adults. Prohibiting divorce between heterosexual married couples will keep the interests of children and families intact. We will continue to celebrate marriage as the union of husband and wife, not as a relationship between "Party A" and "Party B." The marriage of a man and a woman has been at the heart of society since the beginning of time and it promotes the ideal opportunity for children to be raised by a mother and a father in a family held together by the legal, communal, and spiritual bonds of marriage. As a society we should put the best interests of children first, and those interests lie in traditional marriage. Permitting divorce destroys marriage as we know it and causes a profound harm to society. We should be restoring marriage, not undermining it.


http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/protect-marriage-protect-children-prohibit-divorce

 

[Dis]

Someone told me there is a petition floating around in California to stop Divorce.

Divorce destroys the sanctity of marriage and its powerful influence on the betterment of society. This proposition would keep the very meaning of marriage from being transformed into nothing more than a contractual relationship between two adults. Prohibiting divorce between heterosexual married couples will keep the interests of children and families intact. We will continue to celebrate marriage as the union of husband and wife, not as a relationship between "Party A" and "Party B." The marriage of a man and a woman has been at the heart of society since the beginning of time and it promotes the ideal opportunity for children to be raised by a mother and a father in a family held together by the legal, communal, and spiritual bonds of marriage. As a society we should put the best interests of children first, and those interests lie in traditional marriage. Permitting divorce destroys marriage as we know it and causes a profound harm to society. We should be restoring marriage, not undermining it.


http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/protect-marriage-protect-children-prohibit-divorce

No way. If you're going to use children as an excuse, kindly remember that fighting parents, and parents that can no longer stand each other are far more detrimental to the childs well being than divorce.

 

[xsited1]

And for those of you who voted yes on Prop 8 but disagree with this petition...Why? This petition is copied and pasted from literature from your website, ProtectMarriage.com, but applied to Divorce instead of Gay Marriage. So how can you argue with your own words?

 

[Dis]

Hmph. And to think I took the paragraph posted at face value, and didn't bother reading the link.

 

[chloe]

I guess I would have been up a creek if Divorce was against the law having 2 under my belt already....he he

 

[Toro]

Is it 1952 again?

 

[Cecilie1200]

No way. If you're going to use children as an excuse, kindly remember that fighting parents, and parents that can no longer stand each other are far more detrimental to the childs well being than divorce.

According to whom, exactly?

 

[Cecilie1200]

I didn't read the entire petition, so I'm a bit unclear as to their specifics, but I don't think you can simply outlaw all divorce. Even God doesn't prohibit ALL divorce.

Not a bad idea to make them a bit harder to obtain, though. Might make some people think a little more seriously before getting married in the first place.

 

[Dis]

According to whom, exactly?

Well, let's start with according to ME.

Do you think it's healthy for a kid to see their parents constantly fighting and screaming at each other?

 

[Cecilie1200]

Well, let's start with according to ME.

Do you think it's healthy for a kid to see their parents constantly fighting and screaming at each other?

As opposed to having their parents living in different houses?

I won't say I don't think it's an excellent idea for the parents to get some counseling and work out their problems, or at least learn to fight like adults instead of screaming and acting out in front of their kids. But I also won't say that I buy the self-serving twaddle people try to sell about how their divorce was "for the children".

 

[Dis]

As opposed to having their parents living in different houses?

I won't say I don't think it's an excellent idea for the parents to get some counseling and work out their problems, or at least learn to fight like adults instead of screaming and acting out in front of their kids. But I also won't say that I buy the self-serving twaddle people try to sell about how their divorce was "for the children".

Well, then I'm guessing you're one of those kids that grew up in a perfect household.

Personally, my parents sucked when they were together, and I'm glad they got divorced. It meant I didn't have to listen to the screaming matches, and deal with their perpetual crankiness.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Well, then I'm guessing you're one of those kids that grew up in a perfect household.

Personally, my parents sucked when they were together, and I'm glad they got divorced. It meant I didn't have to listen to the screaming matches, and deal with their perpetual crankiness.

There's no such thing as a perfect household, and perhaps you should get some therapy for your excessive bitterness at your parents for not knowing how to behave like adults and parents.

My parents fought, just like any two people who live together any length of time. Did I hear them do it? No, because they didn't consider it my job to deal with the family's problems, so they did it in private, in reasonable tones of voice. Noticeably, they also managed to settle them pretty quickly. Funny how that works.

My husband and I fight sometimes. Do we do it in front of our son? No, we do it in private, in reasonable tones of voice, because both of us were raised by civilized people to behave like civilized people.

I stand by what I said. Children don't need their parents to have access to easy divorce. They need their parents to act like parents.

 

[Dis]

There's no such thing as a perfect household, and perhaps you should get some therapy for your excessive bitterness at your parents for not knowing how to behave like adults and parents.

My parents fought, just like any two people who live together any length of time. Did I hear them do it? No, because they didn't consider it my job to deal with the family's problems, so they did it in private, in reasonable tones of voice. Noticeably, they also managed to settle them pretty quickly. Funny how that works.

My husband and I fight sometimes. Do we do it in front of our son? No, we do it in private, in reasonable tones of voice, because both of us were raised by civilized people to behave like civilized people.

I stand by what I said. Children don't need their parents to have access to easy divorce. They need their parents to act like parents.

Excessive bitterness? Boy, you don't know the half of it.

Parents DO need to act like parents, but unfortunately, a good portion of them aren't ready to BE parents, much less act like them.

That said, forcing a child to live like that is actually abusive.

Making divorce more difficult to get is a good thing. Outlawing it completely isn't.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Excessive bitterness? Boy, you don't know the half of it.

No, and I don't want to.

Parents DO need to act like parents, but unfortunately, a good portion of them aren't ready to BE parents, much less act like them.

So your solution is to make it easier for them to behave like self-indulgent, spoiled adolescents in adult bodies?

That said, forcing a child to live like that is actually abusive.

So your solution is to abuse the children in a completely different way?

Making divorce more difficult to get is a good thing. Outlawing it completely isn't.

Well, gee, where did I hear that before? Oh, yeah, in MY post that you felt the need to respond to by getting your panties in a ruffle over your personal issues.

Funny how that works.

 

[Dis]

No, and I don't want to.



So your solution is to make it easier for them to behave like self-indulgent, spoiled adolescents in adult bodies?



So your solution is to abuse the children in a completely different way?



Well, gee, where did I hear that before? Oh, yeah, in MY post that you felt the need to respond to by getting your panties in a ruffle over your personal issues.

Funny how that works.

You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Your way is not the end-all, be-all solution for the rest of the world.

If you're against divorce, more power to you. That doesn't mean that solution works for everyone.

I'm against abortion. That doesn't mean that solution works for everyone.

Having a child in a household with a parent, and step parent who love each other is hardly considered "abusive".

 

[GigiBowman]

Well, let's start with according to ME.

Do you think it's healthy for a kid to see their parents constantly fighting and screaming at each other?

I'm with you on this one Dis.

If you ask my girls today they will tell you "Thank you for getting a Divorce, you were giving me a headache" lol

No, seriously. Its not healthy for children to watch their parents fight. When I think back to my parent's fighting.....it's a fear I will never forget (I was also an only child and had no one to share the trauma with).

My girls are not spoiled or self-indulgent. They are lovely beautiful women and my getting divorced was a healthy move for my children.

 

[Angel Heart]

Excessive bitterness? Boy, you don't know the half of it.

Parents DO need to act like parents, but unfortunately, a good portion of them aren't ready to BE parents, much less act like them.

That said, forcing a child to live like that is actually abusive.

Making divorce more difficult to get is a good thing. Outlawing it completely isn't.

ITA Make it harder. No more of this 'I don't feel in love' crap. Marriage has little to do with 'being in love' and everything to do with commitment. Love isn't feeling all fuzzy all the time. It's hard work and at times looking the other way when their little thing pisses you off again. Heck the way my husband brushes his teeth drives me nuts. Don't know why but it does... I don't join him to brush mine anymore.

Benjamin Franklin:

"Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards."

 

[jillian]

As opposed to having their parents living in different houses?

I won't say I don't think it's an excellent idea for the parents to get some counseling and work out their problems, or at least learn to fight like adults instead of screaming and acting out in front of their kids. But I also won't say that I buy the self-serving twaddle people try to sell about how their divorce was "for the children".

I did a lot of divorces for people over the course of my practice. And I can tell you, without exception, the kids were better off AFTER the divorce than before.

Kids only do badly in divorce if their parents handle the divorce itself without thinking about their kids' welfare and use the kids against each other.

People need to worry about what works for them and not worry so much about what works for other people.

 

[chloe]

Heh, nobody even looked to what group started the petition?

 

[Cecilie1200]

You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Your way is not the end-all, be-all solution for the rest of the world.

If you're against divorce, more power to you. That doesn't mean that solution works for everyone.

I'm against abortion. That doesn't mean that solution works for everyone.

Having a child in a household with a parent, and step parent who love each other is hardly considered "abusive".

I always love people who conflate their own personal desires into "what's best for everyone", on the basis that it's in everyone's best interests for THEM to be happy.

Yes, my way IS the be-all, end-all solution for everyone. It's called "grow the hell up and act like an adult before taking on adult responsibilities", and it's ALWAYS better than the alternative. Just look at you, for example. Would we all be having to hear you championing broken families if your parents had understood that children come before personal issues and whims?

And frankly, this modern-day obsession with "love" - particularly since most people wouldn't know real love if it crawled up their pants leg and bit them on the butt - makes me vaguely nauseous. Do you really think my 13-year-old gives a rat's ass if his father and I "love" each other? He cares that we love HIM, and that we do whatever's necessary to protect HIS best interests. And that DOESN'T include me leaving his father to go find someone I "love" more.

It doesn't escape my notice that right around the time western society became all misty-eyed over the "virtues" of marrying for love, it also acquired a skyrocketing divorce rate. Ask yourself this. If it's so important and necessary to children for their parents to be "in love" and "happy" and "fulfilled", how in the hell did they manage for all those centuries when marriages were mostly arranged business deals?