A man and his wife are lying in bed.....

[Theowl32]

The man said to his wife, "I bet you cannot tell me something that will make me happy and upset at the same time. "

His wife responded, "I bet I could....."

Man said, "ok, give me your best shot."

Wife said, "Your dick, is bigger than all of your friends dicks."

 

[beagle9]

That was just wrong on so many levels... LOL

I just had to be curious didn't I... LOL

 

[BuckToothMoron]

A midget walks into a bar, but has no money. So he ask the bar tender if he could get a free beer. The bartender says “I’ll give you a free beer if you can make ole big Dick over there laugh. He never laughs.” Big Dick is 7 feet tall and weighs 300 lbs. So the midget walks over to big dick, whispers in his ear, and big dick starts laughing uncontrollably. The midget drinks his beer and leaves.

A week later the midget walks into the same bar again. The bartender tells him old big Dick hasn’t stopped laughing since the midget whispered in his ear, and everybody is tired of hearing him laugh. So the bartender tells the midget he will give him free beer all night if he can get big Dick to stop laughing. So the midget goes over to big Dick and leads to the back room. A few moments later big Dick comes out bawling.

The bartender is amazed. He says “ok, you get free beer, but first you have to tell me, how did you get big Dick to laugh? I told him my dick was bigger than his. Ok, but how did you get him to cry? I showed him my dick was bigger than his.”

 

[Thunk]

Wife: I want bigger boobs.
Hubby: Rub toilet paper in between them.
Wife: How will THAT make my boobs bigger?
Hubby: Well, it worked for your ass didn't it?