-Cp said:
One other note here is that I often think -=d=- confuses love and passion..
I can love someone, but that doesn't mean I always feel passion towards them...
On the reverse, there are times when my wife and I can share passionate moments but that doesn't mean I feel like we're "in love" 100% of the time...
Nobody here can tell me they've never had "Porno sex" - i.e., sex for the sake of having sex - with their spouse..
If marriage was only about passion, what'd be the point? You can get that being single...
I never confuse the two. I know what I know. I don't know geometry. But I know 'love'. I don't know Alegbra. I know 'passion'. I don't know what it's like to walk on the moon. I know matters of the heart. I know people. I can read people. I know what it means to 'make love with somebody through nothing more than eye contact.' Yes, I have sat across the table from a woman, only holding her hand. We locked eyes and could 'feel' eachothers embrace. We held hand and rubbed fingers and time stood still. We barely blinked - we couldn't unlock our gaze. I could feel my heart pounding from within my chest. I could see goosebumps on her arms. Minutes passed like seconds, and an hour passed like a day.
I know what it's like end things with a woman BECAUSE I loved her, too.
Please don't lecture me about "Confusing Love and Passion".
The "ONLY" Difference between lovers and friends is 'passion'. Without passion, there'd be no need to get married. We'd just marry friends, have a kid, and live our seperate lives (even within the same house).
Do you want your wife to be a friend or lover? I choose 'lover'. A lover is something a friend will never be...
Before you start - yes, of course couples should be friends. But 'friendship' doesn't draw people together in an intimate way. Friendship isn't enough to hold a marriage together in hard times. There's no such thing as 'make-up hugs'.
Additionally, the reverse argument could be made of:
If you loved your wife you wouldn't expect her to drop what she's doing to come and please you...
You have completely missed the point if that is your counter-argument to my thread.
I'll break it down - this is the 2nd time i've done this:
Put the needs of your loved one ahead of the chores on your to-do list. Your list will be there forever...your loved ones will not.
It's not about sex - it's about much MORE than sex. It's about flirting. And hugging. And kissing. And 'just sitting with' your mate. It's about showing your mate - reminding them often, how very valuable they are to you. To use your quote "People do things they enjoy". If my wife tells me she loves me, yet doesn't show it, does she really love me? Stop settling for things. As MyName illuded to, there are certian reasonable demands of a mate. Love. Sex. Passion. Intimacy. Respect. etc.
I can anticipate your reply: "If you respect your wife, you won't make her drop what she's doing blah blah blah"
I'm telling you, if your mate DOES love you - if your mate DOES value you, he/she won't be able to help BUT drop what they are doing when you need them. Unless 'what they are doing' is carrying a baby in their arms, etc.
Sex however, is VITAL to keeping a marriage working. There is no other means as effective to bring people into intimacy. There is no other means by which we can feel completely vulnerable.
