Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
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- #1
Thursday, May 16, 2024, 10:32 a.m. - Biden Cabinet Meeting
Biden: Well, hey there, Jeffy!! A good Monday morning to you!!
COS (Chief of Staff) - Good morning, sir. Oh, and it is Thursday, by the way.
Biden: Where is everyone? My cabinet is supposed to be here.
[Biden looks around at the empty room. It is only him and his COS]
COS: Uh, we are not entirely sure, sir.
Biden: What the fuck is going on here? When I summon my cabinet they are all supposed to run in here and kiss my white ass!
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: And, uh... Wait a minute.... Where the hell is that darkie broad. You know, the uh,,,,, President??
COS: You mean the VP, Kamala Harris?
Biden: Yeah, that dumb n****r. Where the fuck is her fat ass?
COS: We are not entirely sure. But we believe her to be at the border getting to the root cause of the immigration crisis at the southern border.
[He is lying. Harris is in an adjacent room blowing Hunter Biden for cocaine]
Biden: Well, good. It is about time that useless fucking stooge did something. Jill told me not to pick that stupid whore. I should have listened to her.
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: What about the rest of my cabinet? Where is my Secretary of Defense? You know, the colored boy? I have not seen that sorry fucker in weeks.
COS: Well, sir, it turns out he has prostate cancer.
Biden: Holy shit!! When were you going to tell me about that?!?
COS: I did not want to worry you, sir.
Biden: What about his stand-in, the under secretary, or whatever? Where is he at?!? Why isn't he here?!?
COS: Actually, it is "she", sir.
Biden: Oh, God damn...
COS: ... and she is on vacation.
Biden: Vacation?!? What the fuck?!? She should be here...NOW!!!
COS: Well, sir, she does not know that she has been delegated the Secretary's power.
Biden: Why the hell not?!?
COS: Well, we do not have a good telephone number with which to contact her.
Biden: Can't you go get her?
COS: We could, if we knew where she was vacationing.
Biden: Christ.... You fucking flunkies take the cake. Back when Barack, me, and George Clooney ran the country, this sort of stupid shit was not tolerated.
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: We have been having some real problems with travel lately. The winter weather has kicked in and, did you hear about that plane, the one the door fell off of at 16,000 feet. My God, what a nightmare. Don't I have a secretary of transportation that is supposed to be looking into all of that?
COS: Yes sir. Secretary Buttigieg.
Biden: Well... Where the fuck is he?
COS: Oh, he is busy doing very important work on some very serious issues, like equity in highway construction and putting Tampons in men's restrooms at rest areas.
Biden: But why isn't he HERE? Right now?!?!?
COS: I believe he is on paternity leave, sir.
Biden: What?
COS: Yes, him and Chasten adopted another child. This one is from Somalia.
Biden: Adopted? You mean they let those people adopt children?
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: Well, we need to do something about that. Maybe we could, uh, do an executive order to put a stop to that travesty, you know.
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: What about my Secretary of Energy? What's her name.... Grannyholm, or some shit.
COS: Jennifer Granholm. Yes, well, we are not exactly sure why she is not here.
Biden: Does she know about this meeting.
COS: Yes, she should, sir.
Biden: Why is she not here?!? My God, this is a dereliction of duty. GET THAT DUMB BITCH ON SPEAKER PHONE. RIGHT NOW!!!
COS: Uh... Well, sir, we believe that she may be attending a funeral.
[This is a lie to cover for the commie slut]
Biden: Who died?
COS: Uh... her cousin, I think.
Biden: Is this the same cousin that died last year when she skipped one of my cabinet meetings to go to Barbados?
COS: I don't think so, sir.
Biden: This is bullshit. How am I supposed to run a country without my cabinet?
COS: I do not know, sir.
Biden: Where the fuck is that little beaner prick, Mayorkis? He should be here, especially with my polls number dropping due to that mess at the border.
COS: OH, umm, Secretary Mayorkis sent word that he is busy zealously enforcing our immigration laws.
Biden: Bullshit. That swarthy little munchkin is probably off fucking his male secretary. Fucking pervert.
COS: I would not know about that, sir.
Biden: Get me General Milley on the phone immediately. I want him to use the military to track down each of these motherfuckers. We are going to line all of them up on the front lawn of the White House and execute them for insubordination!
COS: Uh, General Milley stepped down, sir.
Biden: Why the fuck did he do that?
COS: It seems that he was hurting your polls due to his zealous, and almost sexual, infatuation with "white rage".
Biden: Hmm... Good man.
COS: Sir, if I may. It is not doing you any good being here without your cabinet. Why don't you retire to the residence wing and I will have a nice bowl of chocolate chip ice cream sent up to you. In the meanwhile, I will just fill out the minutes of the meeting to make it appear that your entire cabinet was present and had a robust and meaningful dialogue on a wide variety of policy matters. How does that sound.
Biden: Ok, uhh yeah... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
COS: Somebody please bring the president a warm blanket. I am putting a lid on today.
END
Biden: Well, hey there, Jeffy!! A good Monday morning to you!!
COS (Chief of Staff) - Good morning, sir. Oh, and it is Thursday, by the way.
Biden: Where is everyone? My cabinet is supposed to be here.
[Biden looks around at the empty room. It is only him and his COS]
COS: Uh, we are not entirely sure, sir.
Biden: What the fuck is going on here? When I summon my cabinet they are all supposed to run in here and kiss my white ass!
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: And, uh... Wait a minute.... Where the hell is that darkie broad. You know, the uh,,,,, President??
COS: You mean the VP, Kamala Harris?
Biden: Yeah, that dumb n****r. Where the fuck is her fat ass?
COS: We are not entirely sure. But we believe her to be at the border getting to the root cause of the immigration crisis at the southern border.
[He is lying. Harris is in an adjacent room blowing Hunter Biden for cocaine]
Biden: Well, good. It is about time that useless fucking stooge did something. Jill told me not to pick that stupid whore. I should have listened to her.
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: What about the rest of my cabinet? Where is my Secretary of Defense? You know, the colored boy? I have not seen that sorry fucker in weeks.
COS: Well, sir, it turns out he has prostate cancer.
Biden: Holy shit!! When were you going to tell me about that?!?
COS: I did not want to worry you, sir.
Biden: What about his stand-in, the under secretary, or whatever? Where is he at?!? Why isn't he here?!?
COS: Actually, it is "she", sir.
Biden: Oh, God damn...
COS: ... and she is on vacation.
Biden: Vacation?!? What the fuck?!? She should be here...NOW!!!
COS: Well, sir, she does not know that she has been delegated the Secretary's power.
Biden: Why the hell not?!?
COS: Well, we do not have a good telephone number with which to contact her.
Biden: Can't you go get her?
COS: We could, if we knew where she was vacationing.
Biden: Christ.... You fucking flunkies take the cake. Back when Barack, me, and George Clooney ran the country, this sort of stupid shit was not tolerated.
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: We have been having some real problems with travel lately. The winter weather has kicked in and, did you hear about that plane, the one the door fell off of at 16,000 feet. My God, what a nightmare. Don't I have a secretary of transportation that is supposed to be looking into all of that?
COS: Yes sir. Secretary Buttigieg.
Biden: Well... Where the fuck is he?
COS: Oh, he is busy doing very important work on some very serious issues, like equity in highway construction and putting Tampons in men's restrooms at rest areas.
Biden: But why isn't he HERE? Right now?!?!?
COS: I believe he is on paternity leave, sir.
Biden: What?
COS: Yes, him and Chasten adopted another child. This one is from Somalia.
Biden: Adopted? You mean they let those people adopt children?
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: Well, we need to do something about that. Maybe we could, uh, do an executive order to put a stop to that travesty, you know.
COS: Yes sir.
Biden: What about my Secretary of Energy? What's her name.... Grannyholm, or some shit.
COS: Jennifer Granholm. Yes, well, we are not exactly sure why she is not here.
Biden: Does she know about this meeting.
COS: Yes, she should, sir.
Biden: Why is she not here?!? My God, this is a dereliction of duty. GET THAT DUMB BITCH ON SPEAKER PHONE. RIGHT NOW!!!
COS: Uh... Well, sir, we believe that she may be attending a funeral.
[This is a lie to cover for the commie slut]
Biden: Who died?
COS: Uh... her cousin, I think.
Biden: Is this the same cousin that died last year when she skipped one of my cabinet meetings to go to Barbados?
COS: I don't think so, sir.
Biden: This is bullshit. How am I supposed to run a country without my cabinet?
COS: I do not know, sir.
Biden: Where the fuck is that little beaner prick, Mayorkis? He should be here, especially with my polls number dropping due to that mess at the border.
COS: OH, umm, Secretary Mayorkis sent word that he is busy zealously enforcing our immigration laws.
Biden: Bullshit. That swarthy little munchkin is probably off fucking his male secretary. Fucking pervert.
COS: I would not know about that, sir.
Biden: Get me General Milley on the phone immediately. I want him to use the military to track down each of these motherfuckers. We are going to line all of them up on the front lawn of the White House and execute them for insubordination!
COS: Uh, General Milley stepped down, sir.
Biden: Why the fuck did he do that?
COS: It seems that he was hurting your polls due to his zealous, and almost sexual, infatuation with "white rage".
Biden: Hmm... Good man.
COS: Sir, if I may. It is not doing you any good being here without your cabinet. Why don't you retire to the residence wing and I will have a nice bowl of chocolate chip ice cream sent up to you. In the meanwhile, I will just fill out the minutes of the meeting to make it appear that your entire cabinet was present and had a robust and meaningful dialogue on a wide variety of policy matters. How does that sound.
Biden: Ok, uhh yeah... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
COS: Somebody please bring the president a warm blanket. I am putting a lid on today.
END
