humor

  1. Wuwei

    10 Fun Facts

    10 Fun Facts 1. You can't see your ears without a mirror. 2. You can't count your own hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried no. 3 6. When you did no. 3 you realized that it is possible, only to look like a dog. 7. You are smiling right now because...
  2. Mortis

    Please Wash Your Hands After Posting!

    I am betting you that just about 85% of you don't wash your hands after you post on USMB. Tisk tisk! You don't think we have enough germs in here?
  3. Auld Phart

    January 3, 2019

    Democrats enter House to be sworn in.
  4. HaShev

    Found the MSM meetup room for daily syncronized news

    Ever wonder how all the MSM networks can coincidentally parrot the same fake news story and unique spin narrative as if they gathered before hand somewhere to decide the spin of the day? Well I found that central source, the MSM meetup room used to conspire the daily syncronized narrative seen...
  5. Street Juice

    Can your sense of humor predict who you will vote for?

    Rank the following, with -5 being not in the least funny, 0 being, meh, maybe a smile, and 5 being kneeslappingly hilarious: You are watching... We don't serve... Spell ā€œpigā€ backwards... I have no... A man tries... A priest and... Neitzche and Al ... Rene DesCartes walks... You might be... A...
  6. Auld Phart

    Question:

    If CNN and MSNBC merged. would it be known as MRSNBC?
  7. Peony

    Some Things just arenā€™t Funny

    Yesterday, purported comedian Kathy Griffin received the attention she obviously craves by posing for a photograph holding a model of Donald Trumpā€™s blood soaked severed head. (You can view the image here: Kathy Griffin Beheads Donald Trump in Shocking Photo Shoot (PHOTO + VIDEO)) The Secret...
  8. Auld Phart

    Give it up, Rosie

    Melania Trump Should Divorce The President: Rosie O'Donnell Even if she does leave Donald, you dont' have a chance with her.
  9. Auld Phart

    Happy Presidents Day

    Feel free to post your own humorous tidbits celebrating the day
  10. Auld Phart

    Pick a Signature picture

    for someone else. We've done avatars to death, let's switch it up a little. Base it on their political affiliation, their favorite sports team, their hobby, whatever. As a start: Hossfly
  11. Auld Phart

    This is going too far

    another celebrity has passed on.
  12. Y

    Seth Meyers takes A Closer Look !!

    So, I am barely off one week since my 5th surgery, and I have stitches all over my abdomen, and I have doctor's order not to lift anything heavier than my cat (12 lbs), and I cannot jog, cannot lift weights, cannot box, cannot kick-box -- I'm supposed to take it easy ... So I relax on the couch...
  13. Auld Phart

    Message for all

    protestors
  14. Auld Phart

    This settles it

    HIllary is more evil than Trump
  15. Y

    What my dear old mom calls the two POTUS candidates ...

    My dear old mom lives in Washington D.C. with my youngest sister there. My mom is 88 years old and dealing with Alzheimer's. My sisters and I joke with each other that someday we will probably each end up with Alzheimer's ourselves. From the time my mom wakes up in the morning, every day is a...
  16. Owsi68

    Want A Big Dick?

    Just had to post this .. I was looking for an old advertisement for the Thompson Machine Gun and stumbled upon this nugget of American history. "Get Big Dick and be envied by every boy in town"
  17. HaShev

    Father's Day Next Week, what they taught us...

    Well Father's day is around the corner and many might ask, 'Michael, who influenced you the most in life?' Well my Father of course. My Father Taught me everything. He taught me time travel- "You better stop horsing around and go to sleep mister or I'm gona knock you into the middle of next...
  18. OldLady

    CDZ Smile

    This one had me LOL at the local diner this morning. Just had to share with my fellow beeblers. It's by Gene Weingarten at the Washington Post. Admit it. You donā€™t know what ā€˜epistemologicalā€™ means either. I have a confession to make. By all rights, it should get me fired. For the last 25...
  19. Blackrook

    What the D&D Players Handbook would look like if it was written in the 1950's

    I started a thread on this here: Message to LGBTQ people -- stop pushing your agenda into my beloved roleplaying games!!! A quote from the character creation section of the Dungeon & Dragons Next (5th ed.) Players Handbook: You don't need to be confined to binary notions of sex and gender...
  20. Compost

    Will Ferrell as Ronald Reagan

    Remember the old saying, funny as a crutch? If you thought that Hollywood could not sink any lower in its tastelessness and contempt for right-leaning Americans, then you were wrong. Very wrong. "Will Ferrell to Play Ronald Reagan in Alzheimerā€™s Comedy ā€˜Reagan,ā€™" read the headline at the...
  21. Compost

    No Jenner Jokes Allowed?

    Ricky Gervais told some jokes about Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner. Outrage followed. Frankly, I chuckled, and feel zero outrage. Here's the jokes: ā€œIā€™ve changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously." "Now Caitlyn Jenner, of course. What a year sheā€™s had. She became a role model for trans people...

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