You really are a small businessman if...

[oldfart]

A lot of real small businessmen (owners/operators of businesses with less than $50 million of gross annual revenue; usually MUCH less) post on the board. Some others make comments that make me wonder. So in the spirit of tongue-in-cheek, I start a list of things a small businessman would have experienced. Please feel free to comment and add to the list. Enjoy!

You really are a small businessman if

1. You have been turned down for a bank loan. At least seven times.
2. You have financed payroll with an American Express card.
3. You have overpaid your taxes by inflating your net income so that your tax return will show enough to qualify you for a business loan.
4. You are hounded to join the BBB.
5. 70% of your mail is a request for donations.
6. 20% of your mail is past due notices.
7. 9% of your mail is advertising for fly-by-night business schemes.
8. 1% of your mail is a check which has been lost in the post office for six weeks.
9. You realize that balance sheets don't.
10. Your dog growls at you when you return home at 1:00 A.M.

Any others?

 

[Iceweasel]

When you wonder if a minimum wage job might be the better way to go.

When even old grannies try to scam you.

When people think they are entitled to a special person discount.

 

[Sonny Clark]

A lot of real small businessmen (owners/operators of businesses with less than $50 million of gross annual revenue; usually MUCH less) post on the board. Some others make comments that make me wonder. So in the spirit of tongue-in-cheek, I start a list of things a small businessman would have experienced. Please feel free to comment and add to the list. Enjoy!

You really are a small businessman if

1. You have been turned down for a bank loan. At least seven times.
2. You have financed payroll with an American Express card.
3. You have overpaid your taxes by inflating your net income so that your tax return will show enough to qualify you for a business loan.
4. You are hounded to join the BBB.
5. 70% of your mail is a request for donations.
6. 20% of your mail is past due notices.
7. 9% of your mail is advertising for fly-by-night business schemes.
8. 1% of your mail is a check which has been lost in the post office for six weeks.
9. You realize that balance sheets don't.
10. Your dog growls at you when you return home at 1:00 A.M.

Any others?

Very good ....... I love it ........... nothing like the truth .... really........ thanks for sharing.....

 

[Moonglow]

When the bank turned me down, I went to CitiCorp financing.....

 

[Moonglow]

When the bank turned me down, I went to CitiCorp financing.....

Then after the profits rolled in, I financed myself........................

 

[Mr. H.]

When you spend as much time complying with local, state, and federal oversight as you do running your goddamn company.

 

[oldfart]

When you spend as much time complying with local, state, and federal oversight as you do running your goddamn company.

My primary oversight agency in the United States Treasury. I'm also regulated by the Federal Trade Commission, the Securities Exchange Commission, and the banking laws. Tell me about it.

 

[oldfart]

When the bank turned me down, I went to CitiCorp financing.....

Then after the profits rolled in, I financed myself........................

I think people are unrealistic if they think some self-financing is not going to be required.

 

[Mr. H.]

When you spend as much time complying with local, state, and federal oversight as you do running your goddamn company.

My primary oversight agency in the United States Treasury. I'm also regulated by the Federal Trade Commission, the Securities Exchange Commission, and the banking laws. Tell me about it.

But are you regulated by Metamucil?

 

[Moonglow]

When the bank turned me down, I went to CitiCorp financing.....

Then after the profits rolled in, I financed myself........................

I think people are unrealistic if they think some self-financing is not going to be required.

yes, and some go into too much debt in over head starting out....

 

[Jomama]

When you sign a personal guarantee and none of your friends have.
When you realize what a PG really means and it keeps you up all night.
When your neighbors think you're either rich because you own a business - or stupid because you're not rich and you own a business.
When you lose money and it comes out of your pocket but your employees want a raise.
When your spouse is silently appreciative in the good times but vocally unappreciative in the lean times.
When debt pimps (bankers) are your best friend in good times but wont return your call in lean times.

 

[oldfart]

When you spend as much time complying with local, state, and federal oversight as you do running your goddamn company.

My primary oversight agency in the United States Treasury. I'm also regulated by the Federal Trade Commission, the Securities Exchange Commission, and the banking laws. Tell me about it.

But are you regulated by Metamucil?

That problem got solved for me with two bowel resections. I don't pop bennies anymore, I pop Imodium.

 

[oldfart]

When the bank turned me down, I went to CitiCorp financing.....

Then after the profits rolled in, I financed myself........................

I think people are unrealistic if they think some self-financing is not going to be required.

yes, and some go into too much debt in over head starting out....

My standard story for all of my would-be business clients is this: "Every business school will tell you that 98% of all business failures are caused by one of two things: undercapitalization or bad management. That's wrong. If you start with a billion dollars, you can go quite a while in business even if you are totally incompetent. But if you start with two thousand dollars, you had better be perfect. Businesses fail because they run out of money before they figure out how to do it right. Starting a new business requires adaptability, good judgment, and a fast learning curve."

 

[oldfart]

When you sign a personal guarantee and none of your friends have.
When you realize what a PG really means and it keeps you up all night.
When your neighbors think you're either rich because you own a business - or stupid because you're not rich and you own a business.
When you lose money and it comes out of your pocket but your employees want a raise.
When your spouse is silently appreciative in the good times but vocally unappreciative in the lean times.
When debt pimps (bankers) are your best friend in good times but wont return your call in lean times.

Welcome aboard! Sounds like you have been there and didn't even get the tee shirt. I have to remember the "debt pimps" line, thanks.

 

[Pksimon2007]

When you sign a personal guarantee and none of your friends have.
When you realize what a PG really means and it keeps you up all night.
When your neighbors think you're either rich because you own a business - or stupid because you're not rich and you own a business.
When you lose money and it comes out of your pocket but your employees want a raise.
When your spouse is silently appreciative in the good times but vocally unappreciative in the lean times.
When debt pimps (bankers) are your best friend in good times but wont return your call in lean times.

- Yup. PGs and bonds will keep you awake at night when times are tough.

 

[LoneLaugher]

A lot of real small businessmen (owners/operators of businesses with less than $50 million of gross annual revenue; usually MUCH less) post on the board. Some others make comments that make me wonder. So in the spirit of tongue-in-cheek, I start a list of things a small businessman would have experienced. Please feel free to comment and add to the list. Enjoy!

You really are a small businessman if

1. You have been turned down for a bank loan. At least seven times.
2. You have financed payroll with an American Express card.
3. You have overpaid your taxes by inflating your net income so that your tax return will show enough to qualify you for a business loan.
4. You are hounded to join the BBB.
5. 70% of your mail is a request for donations.
6. 20% of your mail is past due notices.
7. 9% of your mail is advertising for fly-by-night business schemes.
8. 1% of your mail is a check which has been lost in the post office for six weeks.
9. You realize that balance sheets don't.
10. Your dog growls at you when you return home at 1:00 A.M.

Any others?

Weird list. I own a business and I have never experienced 1,2,3,4 5,6 or 8. My dog doesn't growl when I come home, either. I've trained her not to.

I was turned down for a bank loan.....once. I just went to another bank. At least seven times? Where did you get that number?

I experience great satisfaction that my financial destiny is in my own hands.

 

[Mac1958]

A lot of real small businessmen (owners/operators of businesses with less than $50 million of gross annual revenue; usually MUCH less) post on the board. Some others make comments that make me wonder. So in the spirit of tongue-in-cheek, I start a list of things a small businessman would have experienced. Please feel free to comment and add to the list. Enjoy!

You really are a small businessman if

1. You have been turned down for a bank loan. At least seven times.
2. You have financed payroll with an American Express card.
3. You have overpaid your taxes by inflating your net income so that your tax return will show enough to qualify you for a business loan.
4. You are hounded to join the BBB.
5. 70% of your mail is a request for donations.
6. 20% of your mail is past due notices.
7. 9% of your mail is advertising for fly-by-night business schemes.
8. 1% of your mail is a check which has been lost in the post office for six weeks.
9. You realize that balance sheets don't.
10. Your dog growls at you when you return home at 1:00 A.M.

Any others?

11. Your employees assume you're rich
12. Your employees have no idea, not even the first clue, what it took just to be able to hire that FIRST employee
13. You've busted your ass and risked everything multiple times to get where you are
14. You're willing to continue to bust your ass and risk everything
15. People think you just opened the doors one day and the cash started pouring in
16. People think you make your living by taking advantage of others
17. People who have no clue how to run a business want to tell you how to run yours
18. Your President, with a big smile on his face, tells you "you didn't build that, someone ELSE made that happen"

.

 

[LoneLaugher]

A lot of real small businessmen (owners/operators of businesses with less than $50 million of gross annual revenue; usually MUCH less) post on the board. Some others make comments that make me wonder. So in the spirit of tongue-in-cheek, I start a list of things a small businessman would have experienced. Please feel free to comment and add to the list. Enjoy!

You really are a small businessman if

1. You have been turned down for a bank loan. At least seven times.
2. You have financed payroll with an American Express card.
3. You have overpaid your taxes by inflating your net income so that your tax return will show enough to qualify you for a business loan.
4. You are hounded to join the BBB.
5. 70% of your mail is a request for donations.
6. 20% of your mail is past due notices.
7. 9% of your mail is advertising for fly-by-night business schemes.
8. 1% of your mail is a check which has been lost in the post office for six weeks.
9. You realize that balance sheets don't.
10. Your dog growls at you when you return home at 1:00 A.M.

Any others?

11. Your employees assume you're rich
12. Your employees have no idea, not even the first clue, what it took just to be able to hire that FIRST employee
13. You've busted your ass and risked everything multiple times to get where you are
14. You're willing to continue to bust your ass and risk everything
15. People think you just opened the doors one day and the cash started pouring in
16. People think you make your living by taking advantage of others
17. People who have no clue how to run a business want to tell you how to run yours
18. Your President, with a big smile on his face, tells you "you didn't build that, someone ELSE made that happen"

.

Your president didn't say that tomboy, dummy.

 

[oldfart]

A lot of real small businessmen (owners/operators of businesses with less than $50 million of gross annual revenue; usually MUCH less) post on the board. Some others make comments that make me wonder. So in the spirit of tongue-in-cheek, I start a list of things a small businessman would have experienced. Please feel free to comment and add to the list. Enjoy!

You really are a small businessman if

1. You have been turned down for a bank loan. At least seven times.
2. You have financed payroll with an American Express card.
3. You have overpaid your taxes by inflating your net income so that your tax return will show enough to qualify you for a business loan.
4. You are hounded to join the BBB.
5. 70% of your mail is a request for donations.
6. 20% of your mail is past due notices.
7. 9% of your mail is advertising for fly-by-night business schemes.
8. 1% of your mail is a check which has been lost in the post office for six weeks.
9. You realize that balance sheets don't.
10. Your dog growls at you when you return home at 1:00 A.M.

Any others?

Weird list. I own a business and I have never experienced 1,2,3,4 5,6 or 8. My dog doesn't growl when I come home, either. I've trained her not to.

I was turned down for a bank loan.....once. I just went to another bank. At least seven times? Where did you get that number?

I experience great satisfaction that my financial destiny is in my own hands.

The list was labelled "tongue-in-cheek". I've been in business forty years, including a few times when nobody could get credit. In times like 1973 you had to be creative to keep the doors open. I have been turned down (including loan applications on behalf of clients as well as my own) a couple hundred times or more. For my own businesses, I have always been able to find funding eventually.

 

[LoneLaugher]

A lot of real small businessmen (owners/operators of businesses with less than $50 million of gross annual revenue; usually MUCH less) post on the board. Some others make comments that make me wonder. So in the spirit of tongue-in-cheek, I start a list of things a small businessman would have experienced. Please feel free to comment and add to the list. Enjoy!

You really are a small businessman if

1. You have been turned down for a bank loan. At least seven times.
2. You have financed payroll with an American Express card.
3. You have overpaid your taxes by inflating your net income so that your tax return will show enough to qualify you for a business loan.
4. You are hounded to join the BBB.
5. 70% of your mail is a request for donations.
6. 20% of your mail is past due notices.
7. 9% of your mail is advertising for fly-by-night business schemes.
8. 1% of your mail is a check which has been lost in the post office for six weeks.
9. You realize that balance sheets don't.
10. Your dog growls at you when you return home at 1:00 A.M.

Any others?

Weird list. I own a business and I have never experienced 1,2,3,4 5,6 or 8. My dog doesn't growl when I come home, either. I've trained her not to.

I was turned down for a bank loan.....once. I just went to another bank. At least seven times? Where did you get that number?

I experience great satisfaction that my financial destiny is in my own hands.

The list was labelled "tongue-in-cheek". I've been in business forty years, including a few times when nobody could get credit. In times like 1973 you had to be creative to keep the doors open. I have been turned down (including loan applications on behalf of clients as well as my own) a couple hundred times or more. For my own businesses, I have always been able to find funding eventually.

I didn't notice the tongue in cheek remark. Does that mean that your entire list was exaggerated or made up?