Women Less Happy

[dilloduck]

not 'when'----WHERE ??

Here, of course. Where else?

silly man

Leave it to you to take all the fun outta getting slapped around. If women can't be happy no one else can huh ?

 

[Phoenix]

Leave it to you to take all the fun outta getting slapped around. If women can't be happy no one else can huh ?

Ohhhhh, you meant that kind of slapping around.

 

[dilloduck]

Leave it to you to take all the fun outta getting slapped around. If women can't be happy no one else can huh ?

Ohhhhh, you meant that kind of slapping around.

 

[Phoenix]

Well, geez - it's not like I can read your mind. Speak up, man.

 

[dilloduck]

Well, geez - it's not like I can read your mind. Speak up, man.

Stop choosing to be bitchy

 

[Phoenix]

Stop choosing to be bitchy

Oh, no - you soooooo didn't invoke the "b-word".

Now I will choose to slap you around some more ... happily.

 

[dilloduck]

Stop choosing to be bitchy

Oh, no - you soooooo didn't invoke the "b-word".

Now I will choose to slap you around some more ... happily.

uh------typo-----I meant itchy.

 

[Phoenix]

uh------typo-----I meant itchy.

Uh-huh. Sure you did.

 

[dilloduck]

uh------typo-----I meant itchy.

Uh-huh. Sure you did.

well anyway---I'm glad you're happy. Your average woman isn't ya know. The drama--it kills em.

 

[Phoenix]

well anyway---I'm glad you're happy. Your average woman isn't ya know. The drama--it kills em.

The truly average woman doesn't need drama. Therefore she ignores it and gets on with more important things in life.

Like choosing to be happy.

 

[American Horse]

By many objective measures the lives of women in the United States have improved over the past 35 years.....
Why is this, women?

I think women had to have been happier staying home, raising the kids, seeing them off to school every day, being there when they ran home at lunchtime, or came home at the end of the day. Also they had all the household duties to do, and most all of those were un-mechanized. I know my own mom had a wringer washer, hung clothes and sheets on the clothes line to dry, did canning during the season, took care of the garden, and kept up neighborhood relations. And I'm certain that except for family reunions or an occasional church dinner, we never, ever, once ate out; but I would imagine it was really living within the moment, a sort of Zen-like experience.

Now they have to take responsiblity for the family, and the household, and usually all the shopping, and are expected to get it all done between the hours they are at the job....not so Zen-like if you ask me, but how would I know, I'm only a man.

 

[Vel]

Because they choose to be unhappy.

What kind of choices do you think women make to be unhappy Eve?

I know I'm happy, but there are a few things that I know would make me even happier.

Because each person controls their own happiness. You can't and shouldn't depend on another person or circumstance to make you happy. Only you can make you happy. And only you can decide you're going to be unhappy. It's a choice.

You (not specifically you, but people in general) can be happy with little, be content with a little, be miserable with a little. Too many times we think we need this or that or whatever to make us happy when the truth is, if we got that, we'd want something else to make us happy.

These are all excellent points. Happiness is always a choice. No one has the ability to make someone else happy. It's always the individual's own reaction to any given situation that controls their personal happiness.
It's also learning that you can't "change" someone else. Once you learn to accept others for who they are, personal happiness comes easier.

 

[Amanda]

I'm happy most of the time.

When i think about the people I know that are unhappy most of the time it seems to me like they feel stuck or unable to change circumstances in their lives. Kinda like they aren't happy with what they've got/where they are in life, but change is scarier so they don't do anything about it.

But what do I know?

 

[catzmeow]

I think women had to have been happier staying home, raising the kids, seeing them off to school every day, being there when they ran home at lunchtime, or came home at the end of the day. Also they had all the household duties to do, and most all of those were un-mechanized. I know my own mom had a wringer washer, hung clothes and sheets on the clothes line to dry, did canning during the season, took care of the garden, and kept up neighborhood relations. And I'm certain that except for family reunions or an occasional church dinner, we never, ever, once ate out; but I would imagine it was really living within the moment, a sort of Zen-like experience.

I can only speak for myself in saying that I would NOT have been happier being sentenced to a lifetime of household chores than I am as a professional woman who goes to work and is treated with respect. My mom lived like that, and frankly, she wasn't all that happy, either.

One thing that I think makes a lot of women unhappy is that we are basically wired to live our lives for other people, and expected to do so. So, we're supposed to be happy as long as we are making our men and our kids happy.

I'm sorry. You have to learn to make YOURSELF happy. I would say that I'm a truly happy person because life happens in tiny little increments, and I seek out the joy in those individual moments. And if I'm not feeling particularly happy, I know that I can do something to change my mood: Listen to a song, have a cup of coffee, go for a walk, read a book. Happiness is not dependent on other people, and their whims. I am in control of my own happiness.

If women aren't happy, it's because we have been indoctrinated to believe that other people control our happiness, and our destinies. And, that's a lie.

LIke Amanda said, the people that I know that are the most unhappy are the ones who feel trapped in their lives, and powerless to change their circumstances. But, having changed my own circumstances, I realize that staying stuck is a choice. So is happiness. It might be hard and painful to change, but it beats blaming everyone else for your unhappiness.

These days, if I'm happy, it's because I have taken responsibility to make my own happiness. And, if I'm unhappy, it's usually because of something I did. So, I have complete power to change it.

 

[American Horse]

I think women had to have been happier staying home, raising the kids, seeing them off to school every day, being there when they ran home at lunchtime, or came home at the end of the day. Also they had all the household duties to do, and most all of those were un-mechanized. I know my own mom had a wringer washer, hung clothes and sheets on the clothes line to dry, did canning during the season, took care of the garden, and kept up neighborhood relations. And I'm certain that except for family reunions or an occasional church dinner, we never, ever, once ate out; but I would imagine it was really living within the moment, a sort of Zen-like experience.

I can only speak for myself in saying that I would NOT have been happier being sentenced to a lifetime of household chores than I am as a professional woman who goes to work and is treated with respect. My mom lived like that, and frankly, she wasn't all that happy, either.

One thing that I think makes a lot of women unhappy is that we are basically wired to live our lives for other people, and expected to do so. So, we're supposed to be happy as long as we are making our men and our kids happy.

I'm sorry. You have to learn to make YOURSELF happy. I would say that I'm a truly happy person because life happens in tiny little increments, and I seek out the joy in those individual moments. And if I'm not feeling particularly happy, I know that I can do something to change my mood: Listen to a song, have a cup of coffee, go for a walk, read a book. Happiness is not dependent on other people, and their whims. I am in control of my own happiness.

If women aren't happy, it's because we have been indoctrinated to believe that other people control our happiness, and our destinies. And, that's a lie.

LIke Amanda said, the people that I know that are the most unhappy are the ones who feel trapped in their lives, and powerless to change their circumstances. But, having changed my own circumstances, I realize that staying stuck is a choice. So is happiness. It might be hard and painful to change, but it beats blaming everyone else for your unhappiness.

These days, if I'm happy, it's because I have taken responsibility to make my own happiness. And, if I'm unhappy, it's usually because of something I did. So, I have complete power to change it.

Of the professional women of this age who are the happiest, I would say, they are those who have the company of men only casually, sans duties.

 

[editec]

How the hell do they KNOW that woman are less happy now than they were in the 70s?

I want to SEE the logitudinal study of women's happy quotant before I'll buy into this theory.

 

[catzmeow]

Of the professional women of this age who are the happiest, I would say, they are those who have the company of men only casually, sans duties.

Oh, I have all the duties of an employee, mother and homeowner. I just don't have to appease some mama's boy anymore and smile while wringing out his undies, and stroke his ego because I'm more successful professionally than he is. That's a huge relief.

Boyfriend isn't threatened by successful women. AND, has his own house, so I can still eat crackers in bed when I feel like it.

 

[catzmeow]

How the hell do they KNOW that woman are less happy now than they were in the 70s?

Personally, I'm quite a bit happier now than I was in the 70s, since I can drive, legally, and drink alcohol.

 

[Beauregard]

I'm unhappy because my man just left the kitchen, and it wasn't to deliver me sammiches.

Update: NM. He saw that I was out of beer and went to the store and got me more. What a doll.

 

[Bootneck]

I hear ya, and would love to discuss this more, but right now the thing that's going to make me REALLY happy is my head on my pillow, my eyes closed, and dreaming of Bootneck!

I'm truly flattered! Thank you EZ!