The Ultimate Racist Joke Thread

[Rat in the Hat]

Why did it take a Polack 3 days to paint his basement window?

He spent the first 2 and a half days digging a hole for the ladder.

 

[strollingbones]

why do mexicans put those small steering wheels in low riders?



they can drive with handcuffs on

 

[manifold]

Why do black people have nightmares?

Because the last black man to have a dream got shot.

 

[driveby]

Five black guys and one white guy, what do you call the white guy? Coach


Ten black guys and one white guy, what do you call the white guy? Quarterback


1,000 black guys and one white guy, what do you call the white guy? Warden

 

[manifold]

Why do black families in the south all raise chickens?

To teach the children how to walk.

 

[Sunni Man]

Why do faggots like to use ribbed condoms?

More traction in the mud.

 

[PoliticalChic]

How do you sink a Polish submarine?
Knock on the door.

How do Poles make a counterfeit $2 bill?
You take a $20 bill and erase the '0.'

 

[yidnar]

he looked up his family tree and a gorilla shit in his face!!

 

[PoliticalChic]

What does a Jewish woman say during sex?
'Mauve'...the ceiling should be mauve.

 

[Sunni Man]

What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without robin.

 

[PoliticalChic]

What do you call a black man in a three piece suit?
The defendant.

 

[PoliticalChic]

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
“Live ammunition.”

 

[yidnar]

stop laughing and reload !!

 

[yidnar]

identification!!

 

[yidnar]

they keep the birds from shitting on their lips!!

 

[Sunni Man]

What do you call mexican basketball?

Juan on Juan.

 

[manifold]

How do you starve a black man?

Hide his foodstamps under his work boots.

 

[manifold]

How do you knock an Italian out cold?

Smash the toilet seat over his head when he's getting a drink of water.

 

[sitarro]

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror.
He noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head.

In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over, he called his doctor and
told him what had happened.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.

After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack,
and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction and said,

"That tasted like bullshit!"

"It was." the doctor replied, "You were a quart low."

 

[Rat in the Hat]

Two black guys are walking down the street when they come across a storefront with a sign in the window that reads, "We can turn you white for $9.00".

The first black guy says "Oh man, that would be cool, we could have all the things whitey has if we did that".

They checked their pockets, and the first black guy had a 10 dollar bill, and the second one had 8 dollars in change. After thinking about it for a couple hours, the first one came up with an idea.

"I has an idea", he said. "I'll go in and has it done, and when I comes out, I'll give you the dollar and you can go in".

So the first one goes in, and the second one waits, happily jumping up and down, thinking how it's finally going to get what it wants.

An hour later, out of the store walks the first one, blond, blue-eyed, and wearing an expensive Armani suit, checking his e-mails on his new Blackberry.

The second one can hardly contain his delight, and yells at the first guy, "Gives me the dollar so's I can be white like you".

The new white man calmly looks him in the eye and says...

"If you want a dollar, get a job, ******".