reminds me of this
Martha Stewart Leaves K-Mart: Opens Christian Human Body Parts Store
Editor's Note: This article was originally published when Martha Stewart first opened her Christian Prosthetics Outlet at Landover Christian Mall. Church officials expect the store to continue to thrive despite Mrs. Stewart's indictment for obstruction of justice and securities fraud and the Security and Exchange Commission's inevitable civil lawsuit against her for insider trading. The store's profits continued to skyrocket even after Mrs. Stewart was first accused of wrongdoing. "True Christians are just glad the laws she broke are some of the more silly man-made laws and that she remains innocent of breaking any of God's law," noted Pastor Deacon Fred.
WALL STREET JOURNAL - With news of lackluster sales and peril of bankruptcy at retailer K-Mart, marketing doyenne Martha Stewart announced that she is abandoning ship. “Frankly,” said Ms. Stewart, while firing one of her whisk designers for having an odd air about him, ”We’ve done market studies and there just aren’t enough Pentecostals in this country to have a big enough market for the cheap plastic crap K-Mart sells. While I’m willing to attach my name to successful garbage if the price is right, as a business woman, I can’t afford to be associated with unsuccessful crap!”
Within hours of admitting her long-speculated-about departure from K-Mart, Ms. Stewart announced that she would be focusing her attention on the flagship store of her new retail chain “An Eye for an Eye” at Landover Baptist Christian Mall. An Eye for an Eye will be competing with Dr. Severed’s well-established, “Panorama of Prosthetics Outlet.” Both stores specialize in selling sinless plastic body parts to Christians who have been betrayed by their own bodies. True Christians are told by the Lord Jesus that if any body part might cause them to sin, it is best that they cut it off.
“And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched . . . . And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire than never shall be quenched . . . . And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire” (Mark 9:43-47; see also Matthew 5:29-30; 18:8-9; Luke 20:46-47).
Martha Stewart Opens Christian Body Parts Store
goono----your posts are annoying