South Africa: Priest poisons congregation !

[irosie91]

reminds me of this

Martha Stewart Leaves K-Mart: Opens Christian Human Body Parts Store

Editor's Note: This article was originally published when Martha Stewart first opened her Christian Prosthetics Outlet at Landover Christian Mall. Church officials expect the store to continue to thrive despite Mrs. Stewart's indictment for obstruction of justice and securities fraud and the Security and Exchange Commission's inevitable civil lawsuit against her for insider trading. The store's profits continued to skyrocket even after Mrs. Stewart was first accused of wrongdoing. "True Christians are just glad the laws she broke are some of the more silly man-made laws and that she remains innocent of breaking any of God's law," noted Pastor Deacon Fred.

WALL STREET JOURNAL - With news of lackluster sales and peril of bankruptcy at retailer K-Mart, marketing doyenne Martha Stewart announced that she is abandoning ship. “Frankly,” said Ms. Stewart, while firing one of her whisk designers for having an odd air about him, ”We’ve done market studies and there just aren’t enough Pentecostals in this country to have a big enough market for the cheap plastic crap K-Mart sells. While I’m willing to attach my name to successful garbage if the price is right, as a business woman, I can’t afford to be associated with unsuccessful crap!”

Within hours of admitting her long-speculated-about departure from K-Mart, Ms. Stewart announced that she would be focusing her attention on the flagship store of her new retail chain “An Eye for an Eye” at Landover Baptist Christian Mall. An Eye for an Eye will be competing with Dr. Severed’s well-established, “Panorama of Prosthetics Outlet.” Both stores specialize in selling sinless plastic body parts to Christians who have been betrayed by their own bodies. True Christians are told by the Lord Jesus that if any body part might cause them to sin, it is best that they cut it off.



“And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched . . . . And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire than never shall be quenched . . . . And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire” (Mark 9:43-47; see also Matthew 5:29-30; 18:8-9; Luke 20:46-47).

Martha Stewart Opens Christian Body Parts Store

goono----your posts are annoying

 

[Compost]

Looks like he missed the one about not putting God to the test.

what was mark writing about, Compost? according to Wikki---"mark"
was written in Greek-------got any ideas what the imagery is all about?

I don't read Greek so I must rely on an English translation.

Looking at the whole section, I think it means there are signs to prove the might of God. For just one example, Paul is bitten by a poisonous snake and survives, the people see that and listen to him. Here's the whole section.

At length he appeared to the eleven as they were at table: and he upbraided them with their incredulity and hardness of heart, because they did not believe them who had seen him after he was risen again. 15And he said to them: Go ye into the whole world, and preach the gospel to every creature. 16He that believeth and is baptized, shall be saved: but he that believeth not shall be condemned. 17And these signs shall follow them that believe: In my name they shall cast out devils: they shall speak with new tongues. 18They shall take up serpents; and if they shall drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them: they shall lay their hands upon the sick, and they shall recover.

 

[OZman]

 

[hobelim]

And these signs shall follow them that believe: In my name they shall cast out devils: they shall speak with new tongues. 18They shall take up serpents; and if they shall drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them: they shall lay their hands upon the sick, and they shall recover.

This just means that believers will take on serpents, religious deceivers, and their false teaching, deadly poison, will have no effect on them and in the process the sick, those under the influence of serpents being held in perpetual captivity by devils, demons, ghouls, goblins, and every sort of foul and loathsome beast and bird will recover and be freed....


You did not choose me, I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit in plenty--fruit that will last- John 15:16


Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing. ezekiel 47:12


On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. rev. 22:2






No man can go into a strong man’s house to plunder his things unless he is stronger and ties him up first. Only then can he ransack his house and make off with his possessions.. mark 3:27


Remember?


like a thief in the night......

 

[irosie91]

Poetry is poetry------Edgar Allen Poe----did not have a raven perched ON HIS CHAMBER DOOR

 

[BreezeWood]

Monyeki then took a swig from the bottle of poisoned water. And with the power of belief and the absolute faith they had in Monyeki, many followers ran forward to take a drink as well.

The incident has sparked an investigation, though no arrests have been made. Sadly, it looks like Monyeki may walk away a free man as the people who died or became sick from the rat poison were the ones who willingly ingested the concoction!

if they did a blood test and found he really did not drink any maybe that would make a difference ... just shows when they say they believe the bible how irrational those people really are.