Some Pretty Good Excuses

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Adam's Apple, Apr 12, 2007.

  1. Adam's Apple
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    Adam's Apple Senior Member

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    These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district. (Spellings have been left intact.)

    MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.

    PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT. SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.

    DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE PARDON JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.

    PLEASE EXCUSE CATHY FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.

    PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.

    GARY HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.

    CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.

    MARGIE COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN
    BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.

    CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.

    PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FROM SCHOOL FRIDAY. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.

    PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIAHRE (DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S.

    PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.

    BILLY WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.

    PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING ABSENT. IT IS HIS FATHER'S FAULT.

    I KEPT BETTY HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEARS.

    PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH. WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY, WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.

    MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT THE WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.

    PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.

    PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.

    GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANG OVER.

    PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.

    MARGARET WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16 BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORETHROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AN SORE THROAT. HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.
     

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