Singles bar

[MeBelle]

Most women find me difficult, because I don't beat around the bush, I don't play "the game" and I am unbelievably direct. Either they like it or they don't. Pffft. After one marriage, I sure as hell am not looking for a 2nd.

Thanks for the kind words.

No games? SOME games are fun.

Dating and sex has been a "game" since before humans were human. It's a game by design - even animals follow courtship "rules."

There are NO rules in love and war!

I agree with your assesment ChrisL! Especially when long term relationships evolve and 'outsiders', who don't care nor try to understand, apply their own set of rules yet break the 'rules' they personally claim adherance to. ''They" end up living a double life filled with double standards. But I'm sure 'they' are very happy moving the goal posts as they see fit.

You also should watch out for people who want to set "rules" for you. That's scary. Lol!

Thankfully, I don't have to deal with the narcissistic personality disorder type! They love to set rules, break rules and will even pit people againnst each other, It's one of the most bizarre disorders I've ever worked with!

 

[Unkotare]

Is there any skirt on here..?

Besides you?

 

[Hollie]

Is there any skirt on here..?

Besides you?

You're jealous.

 

[Diana1180]

lol...skirt?

 

[Andylusion]

Wow! You guys still trying to find a date on the online political forum? I thought this thread was closed lol

 

[High_Gravity]

Still here still single, although I have been seeing this girl for the last few weeks.

 

[High_Gravity]

Well that didn't last long, totally single again lol.

 

[Diana1180]

lol..happens to the best of us.

 

[High_Gravity]

All the good ones are taken.

 

[Diana1180]

Taken or have commitment issues.

 

[High_Gravity]

smh.

 

[Andylusion]

Yeah.... this is why you get married young, and stick it out.

You men.... what are you thinking? You get used to living the single life, and then trying to merge two people's lives into one, is hell on earth. You end up miserable.

You chicks... what are you thinking? A: The guys who want to be married, are already married. B: The guys who are not married, are not married for a reason. They just want a free ride that doesn't cost a ring to get on. It's not a commitment issue. It's a choice.

Worse yet.... and this is going to piss you girls off, but it's the truth, I'm just a messenger. A guy that is single until he's in his 30s, and then decides to get married and settle down.... that guy isn't looking for you 30+ chicks. He's looking at the 20-year-old chicks.

Want to know who a 30+ year old chick looks good to? A 50 year old guy. 40 year old chick, 60 year old guy. I'm just a messenger.
Girls, the flower wilts. Sexy has a shelf life, and guys are visually stimulated.

Ever wonder why you meet these crazy desperate 35 year old chicks who are shacked up with a crazy guy that treats them like dirt? This is why, right here. They know the flower has wilted, and they can't find anyone, so they settle for trash. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Stop telling your kids to wait until they are in their 30s to get married. It's a nightmare for them.

 

[Disir]

I'm single by choice. I'm not looking either. There is entirely too much fun shit to do and see. And batteries.

 

[Andylusion]

And that's perfectly fine. I'm single myself, and have no intention of getting married thank the Lord. Likely a good thing all around.

But.... for those who do wish to have a family, and kids, and love / romance and all that garbage.... Stop waiting around. Candles look great when they are first lit... but they get drippy and warped really quick. The sexy flame doesn't last forever.

It just bugs me when I meet these chicks who wait until they are 38 to get married because "There is entirely too much fun stuff to do and see", and then can't find anyone and start complaining "all the good guys are taken, or they have commitment issues".

Well dur.... yeah. Most good guys that wants a family.... they are not waiting until they are 38. They are going to find a girl, and get on with life.

The only ones left at 38, are the guys who either don't want to be married, but want a free ride, or they have problems that make them unable to hold a marriage. Or worse, have divorced so many times, they have enough baggage to ground a 747.

And the extremely few that are good, and do want to marry.... they are not looking for girl in her 40s or close to it. *shrug* Clue phone you girls! It's for you. If you DO want to be married..> GET ON WITH IT <

 

[Muhammed]

I'm single by choice. I'm not looking either. There is entirely too much fun shit to do and see. And batteries.

I wasn't looking to get married either. 2 years ago if you would have said I would get married I would have laughed at you.

 

[Disir]

I'm single by choice. I'm not looking either. There is entirely too much fun shit to do and see. And batteries.

I wasn't looking to get married either. 2 years ago if you would have said I would get married I would have laughed at you.

Sucker!!!

 

[Disir]

And that's perfectly fine. I'm single myself, and have no intention of getting married thank the Lord. Likely a good thing all around.

But.... for those who do wish to have a family, and kids, and love / romance and all that garbage.... Stop waiting around. Candles look great when they are first lit... but they get drippy and warped really quick. The sexy flame doesn't last forever.

It just bugs me when I meet these chicks who wait until they are 38 to get married because "There is entirely too much fun stuff to do and see", and then can't find anyone and start complaining "all the good guys are taken, or they have commitment issues".

Well dur.... yeah. Most good guys that wants a family.... they are not waiting until they are 38. They are going to find a girl, and get on with life.

The only ones left at 38, are the guys who either don't want to be married, but want a free ride, or they have problems that make them unable to hold a marriage. Or worse, have divorced so many times, they have enough baggage to ground a 747.

And the extremely few that are good, and do want to marry.... they are not looking for girl in her 40s or close to it. *shrug* Clue phone you girls! It's for you. If you DO want to be married..> GET ON WITH IT <

I see people that are with someone simply because they don't want to be alone. They settle. That's pretty much what you are asking them to do. Your message is hurry up and find someone. Anyone. Then they are miserable but don't leave or wait until it's an explosive situation and create unnecessary drama.

Now once upon a time people got married because that is what you did. Love was not a part of the picture. You really did settle. But, you knew this at the beginning and this is what you expected. I don't think this made people happier. I do think that this is what we now would call lowered expectations.

Then there are people who get married right out of high school or college because that is what society tells them to do. Then they wake up 20 years later asking, "Who chose this life?" It's a midlife crisis, Then they are back on the dating scene at 38 and up.

Society is funny. There is no winning by playing by a bunch of obscure and imaginary rules that create ludicrous expectations of what a partner should be.

 

[Andylusion]

And that's perfectly fine. I'm single myself, and have no intention of getting married thank the Lord. Likely a good thing all around.

But.... for those who do wish to have a family, and kids, and love / romance and all that garbage.... Stop waiting around. Candles look great when they are first lit... but they get drippy and warped really quick. The sexy flame doesn't last forever.

It just bugs me when I meet these chicks who wait until they are 38 to get married because "There is entirely too much fun stuff to do and see", and then can't find anyone and start complaining "all the good guys are taken, or they have commitment issues".

Well dur.... yeah. Most good guys that wants a family.... they are not waiting until they are 38. They are going to find a girl, and get on with life.

The only ones left at 38, are the guys who either don't want to be married, but want a free ride, or they have problems that make them unable to hold a marriage. Or worse, have divorced so many times, they have enough baggage to ground a 747.

And the extremely few that are good, and do want to marry.... they are not looking for girl in her 40s or close to it. *shrug* Clue phone you girls! It's for you. If you DO want to be married..> GET ON WITH IT <

I see people that are with someone simply because they don't want to be alone. They settle. That's pretty much what you are asking them to do. Your message is hurry up and find someone. Anyone. Then they are miserable but don't leave or wait until it's an explosive situation and create unnecessary drama.

Now once upon a time people got married because that is what you did. Love was not a part of the picture. You really did settle. But, you knew this at the beginning and this is what you expected. I don't think this made people happier. I do think that this is what we now would call lowered expectations.

Then there are people who get married right out of high school or college because that is what society tells them to do. Then they wake up 20 years later asking, "Who chose this life?" It's a midlife crisis, Then they are back on the dating scene at 38 and up.

Society is funny. There is no winning by playing by a bunch of obscure and imaginary rules that create ludicrous expectations of what a partner should be.

I'm not sure what you are talking about. Society doesn't say 'get married out of high school'. At least that's not what I hear from parents, or kids, from any group of people I've ever been around.

Society says wait wait wait. Wait until you are out of high school, wait until you are through college, wait until you have a career, and money, and a home, and a car and and and and and and and do all the fun stuff you want, and travel the world, and blaw blaw blaw blaw.

I've met parents that literally threatened their kids to not get married.

It's certainly not in the media. The media portrays marriage as this horrible life ruining thing, and the single-hot-sexy-life as the cool in-crowd "all the kool kids do it" thing.

So I really don't know what you are talking about. Must be something local to where you are.

Second, yeah I agree with the lowered expectations. Everyone should have lower expectations of others, and higher expectations of themselves.

In fact, there is some research out there that shows women with high expectations, are the miserable women. Women who had very low expectations of marriage and their husbands, by their own statements, were much happier with their married life. It's the women waiting for perfect prince charming, that end up miserable.

Third, no, it is not my belief that you should just "find someone, anyone". That is not what I advocate. That is in fact, what happens, when you don't find someone.

You wait wait wait wait wait, and women get to this point where they feel the clock ticking, and they hop on the first guy that gives them the time of day, and then they end up in a world of hurt.

To all you women that in fact want to be married.... get them while they are young. Get the boys before they have screwed themselves up. Get them before they are hooked on porn, screwed a dozen different girls, and have lived as a single unmarried man so long that they are set in their ways.

By the time you girls are in your mid-30s, most of the guys that are still interested in you at that age..... are all damaged goods.

That's when these women get desperate, and go down the "find someone, anyone" route.

My suggestion.... find someone when you are still your most attractive, and when there are still guys who are worth getting.

Now if you are like me.... never had a girl friend, and never wanted one, and have no interest in marrying.... great. Peachy. Enjoy your life. Nothing wrong with being single.

But if you want a marriage, then clocks ticking. Pretty soon you'll only get interest from 60-year-old guys, and creeps, because that's all that will be left.

Lastly, drama is not generally a marriage problem. Drama is a "I want to be in charge" problem. Drama is an arrogance problem.

Have you ever been in an organization where there was no one in charge? I have actually seen this. A committee meeting where there is no chair-person. No "head-(person)" in charge.

Want to know what happens? People fight. Why do people fight in that situation? Because all of them feel they have equal right to have their own way. Why should we all do it your way, when you have the same level of authority as me?

And you equally are saying the same thing about me. Why should you do it my way, when I have no more authority than you?

So what happens is, we just fight and butt-heads, and drama.

Research shows that happy married couples have just as many arguments, as unhappy couples that divorce.

The difference is merely that in the couples that are happy... someone submits to the other. Someone is given the final call. And it's usually the husband.

Someone has to be head of the household. The reason there is drama, is because people have bought into this modern nonsense that you can have a happy household where everyone has equal say. That's is absolutely impossible. You will never be happy in a relationship where you and one other, believe you both have 100% equal say, because if I want A and you want B, and both of us believe we have 100% equal say in which one we do.... the only possible outcome is drama, fighting and divorce.

I've actually witnessed that first hand too. Two people, and both thought they had complete authority in their home. All they did was fight until the marriage was ruined and over.

The only happy couples that ever exist, are ones where someone says "Well I don't want that, but we'll do it your way" instead of Burger King "I want it my way".

And to anyone who might be reading this, if that's your life motto... save yourself years of pain and misery... stay single.

 

[Disir]

And that's perfectly fine. I'm single myself, and have no intention of getting married thank the Lord. Likely a good thing all around.

But.... for those who do wish to have a family, and kids, and love / romance and all that garbage.... Stop waiting around. Candles look great when they are first lit... but they get drippy and warped really quick. The sexy flame doesn't last forever.

It just bugs me when I meet these chicks who wait until they are 38 to get married because "There is entirely too much fun stuff to do and see", and then can't find anyone and start complaining "all the good guys are taken, or they have commitment issues".

Well dur.... yeah. Most good guys that wants a family.... they are not waiting until they are 38. They are going to find a girl, and get on with life.

The only ones left at 38, are the guys who either don't want to be married, but want a free ride, or they have problems that make them unable to hold a marriage. Or worse, have divorced so many times, they have enough baggage to ground a 747.

And the extremely few that are good, and do want to marry.... they are not looking for girl in her 40s or close to it. *shrug* Clue phone you girls! It's for you. If you DO want to be married..> GET ON WITH IT <

I see people that are with someone simply because they don't want to be alone. They settle. That's pretty much what you are asking them to do. Your message is hurry up and find someone. Anyone. Then they are miserable but don't leave or wait until it's an explosive situation and create unnecessary drama.

Now once upon a time people got married because that is what you did. Love was not a part of the picture. You really did settle. But, you knew this at the beginning and this is what you expected. I don't think this made people happier. I do think that this is what we now would call lowered expectations.

Then there are people who get married right out of high school or college because that is what society tells them to do. Then they wake up 20 years later asking, "Who chose this life?" It's a midlife crisis, Then they are back on the dating scene at 38 and up.

Society is funny. There is no winning by playing by a bunch of obscure and imaginary rules that create ludicrous expectations of what a partner should be.

I'm not sure what you are talking about. Society doesn't say 'get married out of high school'. At least that's not what I hear from parents, or kids, from any group of people I've ever been around.

Society says wait wait wait. Wait until you are out of high school, wait until you are through college, wait until you have a career, and money, and a home, and a car and and and and and and and do all the fun stuff you want, and travel the world, and blaw blaw blaw blaw.

I've met parents that literally threatened their kids to not get married.

It's certainly not in the media. The media portrays marriage as this horrible life ruining thing, and the single-hot-sexy-life as the cool in-crowd "all the kool kids do it" thing.

So I really don't know what you are talking about. Must be something local to where you are.

Second, yeah I agree with the lowered expectations. Everyone should have lower expectations of others, and higher expectations of themselves.

In fact, there is some research out there that shows women with high expectations, are the miserable women. Women who had very low expectations of marriage and their husbands, by their own statements, were much happier with their married life. It's the women waiting for perfect prince charming, that end up miserable.

Third, no, it is not my belief that you should just "find someone, anyone". That is not what I advocate. That is in fact, what happens, when you don't find someone.

You wait wait wait wait wait, and women get to this point where they feel the clock ticking, and they hop on the first guy that gives them the time of day, and then they end up in a world of hurt.

To all you women that in fact want to be married.... get them while they are young. Get the boys before they have screwed themselves up. Get them before they are hooked on porn, screwed a dozen different girls, and have lived as a single unmarried man so long that they are set in their ways.

By the time you girls are in your mid-30s, most of the guys that are still interested in you at that age..... are all damaged goods.

That's when these women get desperate, and go down the "find someone, anyone" route.

My suggestion.... find someone when you are still your most attractive, and when there are still guys who are worth getting.

Now if you are like me.... never had a girl friend, and never wanted one, and have no interest in marrying.... great. Peachy. Enjoy your life. Nothing wrong with being single.

But if you want a marriage, then clocks ticking. Pretty soon you'll only get interest from 60-year-old guys, and creeps, because that's all that will be left.

Lastly, drama is not generally a marriage problem. Drama is a "I want to be in charge" problem. Drama is an arrogance problem.

Have you ever been in an organization where there was no one in charge? I have actually seen this. A committee meeting where there is no chair-person. No "head-(person)" in charge.

Want to know what happens? People fight. Why do people fight in that situation? Because all of them feel they have equal right to have their own way. Why should we all do it your way, when you have the same level of authority as me?

And you equally are saying the same thing about me. Why should you do it my way, when I have no more authority than you?

So what happens is, we just fight and butt-heads, and drama.

Research shows that happy married couples have just as many arguments, as unhappy couples that divorce.

The difference is merely that in the couples that are happy... someone submits to the other. Someone is given the final call. And it's usually the husband.

Someone has to be head of the household. The reason there is drama, is because people have bought into this modern nonsense that you can have a happy household where everyone has equal say. That's is absolutely impossible. You will never be happy in a relationship where you and one other, believe you both have 100% equal say, because if I want A and you want B, and both of us believe we have 100% equal say in which one we do.... the only possible outcome is drama, fighting and divorce.

I've actually witnessed that first hand too. Two people, and both thought they had complete authority in their home. All they did was fight until the marriage was ruined and over.

The only happy couples that ever exist, are ones where someone says "Well I don't want that, but we'll do it your way" instead of Burger King "I want it my way".

And to anyone who might be reading this, if that's your life motto... save yourself years of pain and misery... stay single.

Society sure does say get married out of high school. Many people don't go to college. They are not expected to go to college. You ARE expected to marry. You ARE expected to "settle down". In fact, you start getting signals very young. Kitchen sets, play houses, church, etc. Then it shows up in movies, television shows, etc. What's the message? It isn't fly solo. Hence, the midlife crisis.

The television absolutely focuses on family. When they do a dysfunctional family the world goes ..........ooooh, look, it's a dysfunctional family on the telly. Problems are solved in 37 minutes. Or you have shows that focus on very young couples buying a house.

And guess what? It's men that are happier in marriages. Not women. Drama comes from settling. It comes when you find out that the person that you thought you wanted to attract is really not at all compatible with who you are............and/or who you have become. And it usually stems from portraying yourself in a manner that is not who you really are to begin with. It also comes from money issues and/or affairs and crap like that.

Wearing the pants in the family my ass.

Historically people have gotten married later in life, then younger in life and then later in life depending on wars etc. In fact, many people waited until they had enough money to marry. So, the whole ZOMG people are waiting longer is overrated.

 

[High_Gravity]

So when I say that all the good ones are taken, it is true.