Sean's Super Bowl Joke (Yellow-Journalism)

Discussion in 'USMB Lounge' started by Abishai100, Jan 23, 2018.

  1. Abishai100

    Abishai100 VIP Member

    Sep 22, 2013
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    This is a sports-media parody inspired by the film Kick-Ass.


    "My name is Sean. I worked as a patient-sitter at a New England hospital from 2001-2014. I saw Tom Brady's indomitable New England Patriots win 4 Super Bowls before I quit my job and became a 'vigilante.' The Patriots won again(!) in 2016, defeating the Atlanta Falcons in the Super Bowl (in overtime!). Brady has to be stopped...and I'm just the fellow to do it, man!

    I endorse freedom-fighting movements in Northern Ireland, Egypt, Chechnya, Cuba, and even Iran. I'm an 'independent,' so I claim no ties to any pedagoguery group such as the IRA or ISIS. However, I wear a mask proudly (like many of them!), and I'm committed to the democratic vitality of America. My mission is to prevent the Patriots from winning Super Bowl 52!

    My inspiration was of course the incredible San Francisco Giants baseball-player Will Clark. His outstanding play reminded me that the glory of sports is meritocracy. Now, this modern age of media and free-agency corruption we see in sports, portrayed in the popular/symbolic film Jerry Maguire, has raised up the spirit of the AntiChrist in the super-celebrity athlete Tom Brady. Americans want the underdog Philadelphia Eagles to win the Super Bowl, and they simply believe that such a 'harmless daydream' is undoubtedly impossible. That's ominous! I'm a servant of God...

    If you see a crazy person streak the field during the Halftime Show of Super Bowl 52 wearing a ski-mask, no that's me (Sean!). I'm here to unnerve America's sensibilities on Super Bowl Sunday just enough to shock people into becoming more aware of the fact that American sports fans want the Eagles to win, not the Patriots. No media dollars, sports-endorsements, or easy money parades for New England, Belichick, or Patriots fans can stop me. I'm here to bring back comedy to sports. I Captain America or Satan?"


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    Last edited: Jan 23, 2018

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