Rethinking Monogamy Today- Why Not Be More Open?

[Iceweasel]

One reason I can think of is thanks to the loose morals of so many disease is rampant in today's society. I would want to know I'm with a disease free partner. If she bored me or I her then it's time to part company and not live the pretense of a marriage.

The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known. It is a basic rule for everyone I have ever known who practices polyamory. I have unprotected sex with only one person. Anyone else is shit outta luck if they want unprotected sex.

The problem is not multiple partners or whatever. It is carelessness and the idea that it couldn't happen to you.

Nonsense. You can't be more careful than sticking with one partner, you're just engaging in excuse making. Just kissing can lead to herpes.

 

[WinterBorn]

One reason I can think of is thanks to the loose morals of so many disease is rampant in today's society. I would want to know I'm with a disease free partner. If she bored me or I her then it's time to part company and not live the pretense of a marriage.

The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known. It is a basic rule for everyone I have ever known who practices polyamory. I have unprotected sex with only one person. Anyone else is shit outta luck if they want unprotected sex.

The problem is not multiple partners or whatever. It is carelessness and the idea that it couldn't happen to you.

Nonsense. You can't be more careful than sticking with one partner, you're just engaging in excuse making. Just kissing can lead to herpes.

I didn't say it was safer than monogamy. I simply stated that the problem is with unsafe sex, not multiple partners. I have had many partners in my lifetime. I have never had an STD. I use protection unless we are in a monogamous relationship.

And it is not a matter of being bored with a partner. The point is that you can love more than one person and can enjoy romantic dates without drama. My spouse and I are as compatible as any couple I know. But there are still things I like to do that she does not. And she likes to do things I do not. Rather than push the person to do things or go places they don't enjoy, we have the opportunity to enjoy what we enjoy with another person who shares that interest and is more than "just a friend".

 

[WinterBorn]

I guess it shoulder no surprise, that TheRegressivePervert, who defends all other manners of insane and perverse sexual immorality and madness, openly and shamelessly admits to having committed adultery many times.

But then, it is no secret that it is the goal of immoral filth such as him to attack and undermine marriage and family.

With polygamy, every woman can marry a nice guy.

And every kid can stamp his feet and demand his turn.

With more than one wife, there should be more, "capacity".

You are confusing polyamory and polygamy. In either case, you still have to date, entertain and seduce the woman. It is not automatic sex. And no one just gets a "turn". Whatever your repeated comments about "your turn" means. I have asked you to clarify, but you steadfastly refuse.

just the silly games silly chics play when they only have silly trics.

And the only "silly chic" playing silly games here is you.

 

[yiostheoy]

This thread reminds me of a classic white trash song:

 

[Vastator]

Having grown weary of the plethora of Trump, bathroom bills and immigration related threads, I thought that I would try something entirely new. The topic is consensual non monogamy. My wife and I were, for many years "into it" Now, for various reasons we are "retired" from the lifestyle, but open to possibilities if the right opportunity presented itself. In recent years it has not. It did work for us, for the most part, and notwithstanding a few "rocky episodes" we mostly have fond memories of our exploits. Sometimes we just look at each other and laugh about "the shit we did "
Anyway, I'm interested in seeing what kind of interest and reaction I get to this topic. Please read the whole article and comment thoughtfully and honestly. Feel free to share your experiences, if any, with any form of non monogamy while in a committed relationship.

Rethinking monogamy today - CNN.com

Selected excerpts

CNN)Could opening your relationship to others benefit you and your partner?
For many couples, monogamy -- staying sexually exclusive with one partner -- is expected and assumed. It's even included in many marriage vows. But as some people are increasingly realizing, monogamy isn't for everyone.

As a couples sex therapist, I've found that some may feel committed to each other yet still feel they have fundamental differences in sexual interests or desires. In the past, many of these couples might have chosen to break up, cheat or just "settle."

But these days, some are finding they want to challenge their notions about sexual exclusivity.
non-monogamy right for you?

So how do you know whether trying consensual non-monogamy -- which includes polyamory, the ability to have sexual and emotional relationships with others -- is worth exploring? First, it helps to understand how you and your partner define sexual openness, as well as sexual exclusivity.
"There are as many different types of non-monogamous relationships as there are people in them," Vrangalova said.

For some couples, non-exclusivity might take the form of attending "play parties" together and swapping partners, watching other couples have sex, dating other people or even entering into polyamorous relationships with multiple partners.

Consensual non-monogamy can add spark and fulfillment to a healthy relationship. "It can actually remove the fear inherent in some monogamous relationships related to the potential for abandonment -- for example, if their partner were to meet someone else," explained Pitagora.

"For other people, there can be a deep sense of relief in not having to be the sole source of sexual satisfaction, and this can lead to greater opportunities for intimacy and bonding," she said.
You'll want to consider issues such as jealousy, honesty and safe sex practices, just to name a few. It's also worth remembering that non-monogamy still carries a stigma in many circles, so think about how you and your partner will address that concern.

The actual language of Moses' 7th Commandment when translated literally out of Hebrew is "thou shalt not do swapping".

Seriously??

Yes, seriously, heathen.

When you find yourself in a group, that has coined a term for all humans not members of that group... You're in a cult.

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

This is why you should never get married... Also I thought you were gay and did not realize you were married to the opposite sex?

Now if your significant other is open to a open relationship then by all means, and who am I to judge?

As for me, well again reason why I do not do marriage because of the cheating gene and it is better to be single...

It's not about marriage. It's about committed relationships a the boundaries and rules that couples set in those relationships, which do not have to always be "traditional" You can have it all if you can get your head around that.

Me gay and don't realize that I was married to the opposite sex? WTF? Where did that come from? This has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

From your op you stated your wife and I am to believe you meant a female, or am I incorrect?

Also from all your threads about gay marriage and rights I just figured you were gay, so excuse the fuck out of me for getting that impression from your other threads.

Also open relationships is your business and your personal life and for me if you are married then you took a vow to be faithful to your spouse no matter if they grant you permission to commit adultery. So it is better to stay single if you prefer to have multiple partners, but that is my mere opinion.

 

[WinterBorn]

This thread reminds me of a classic white trash song:

I liked the Johnny Cash version better.



But whether you agree with these couples or not, the key difference is that everyone agrees and consents.

 

[Iceweasel]

One reason I can think of is thanks to the loose morals of so many disease is rampant in today's society. I would want to know I'm with a disease free partner. If she bored me or I her then it's time to part company and not live the pretense of a marriage.

The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known. It is a basic rule for everyone I have ever known who practices polyamory. I have unprotected sex with only one person. Anyone else is shit outta luck if they want unprotected sex.

The problem is not multiple partners or whatever. It is carelessness and the idea that it couldn't happen to you.

Nonsense. You can't be more careful than sticking with one partner, you're just engaging in excuse making. Just kissing can lead to herpes.

I didn't say it was safer than monogamy. I simply stated that the problem is with unsafe sex, not multiple partners. I have had many partners in my lifetime. I have never had an STD. I use protection unless we are in a monogamous relationship.

And it is not a matter of being bored with a partner. The point is that you can love more than one person and can enjoy romantic dates without drama. My spouse and I are as compatible as any couple I know. But there are still things I like to do that she does not. And she likes to do things I do not. Rather than push the person to do things or go places they don't enjoy, we have the opportunity to enjoy what we enjoy with another person who shares that interest and is more than "just a friend".

You sure do like shifting your words around. You said:

"The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known."

To which I replied that nothing is safer than monogamy, now you pretend you were just saying unsafe sex is the problem. Well duh, obviously unsafe sex is more likely to lead to disease but the FACT is nothing is safer than monogamy. It's not debatable.

The fact that you have the discipline and will of Superman doesn't mean that the sexual diseases aren't get spread around through promiscuous sex. Your preferences and enjoyments don't alter the facts.

 

[Vastator]

Small chance of being murdered by a jealous husband, if one remains monogamous...

 

[WinterBorn]

One reason I can think of is thanks to the loose morals of so many disease is rampant in today's society. I would want to know I'm with a disease free partner. If she bored me or I her then it's time to part company and not live the pretense of a marriage.

The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known. It is a basic rule for everyone I have ever known who practices polyamory. I have unprotected sex with only one person. Anyone else is shit outta luck if they want unprotected sex.

The problem is not multiple partners or whatever. It is carelessness and the idea that it couldn't happen to you.

Nonsense. You can't be more careful than sticking with one partner, you're just engaging in excuse making. Just kissing can lead to herpes.

I didn't say it was safer than monogamy. I simply stated that the problem is with unsafe sex, not multiple partners. I have had many partners in my lifetime. I have never had an STD. I use protection unless we are in a monogamous relationship.

And it is not a matter of being bored with a partner. The point is that you can love more than one person and can enjoy romantic dates without drama. My spouse and I are as compatible as any couple I know. But there are still things I like to do that she does not. And she likes to do things I do not. Rather than push the person to do things or go places they don't enjoy, we have the opportunity to enjoy what we enjoy with another person who shares that interest and is more than "just a friend".

You sure do like shifting your words around. You said:

"The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known."

To which I replied that nothing is safer than monogamy, now you pretend you were just saying unsafe sex is the problem. Well duh, obviously unsafe sex is more likely to lead to disease but the FACT is nothing is safer than monogamy. It's not debatable.

The fact that you have the discipline and will of Superman doesn't mean that the sexual diseases aren't get spread around through promiscuous sex. Your preferences and enjoyments don't alter the facts.

Actually, the absolute safest way is complete abstinence.

No, I don't have the discipline and will of Superman. I simply respect promises I have made.

 

[WinterBorn]

Small chance of being murdered by a jealous husband, if one remains monogamous...

I don't have that fear.

 

[Iceweasel]

One reason I can think of is thanks to the loose morals of so many disease is rampant in today's society. I would want to know I'm with a disease free partner. If she bored me or I her then it's time to part company and not live the pretense of a marriage.

The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known. It is a basic rule for everyone I have ever known who practices polyamory. I have unprotected sex with only one person. Anyone else is shit outta luck if they want unprotected sex.

The problem is not multiple partners or whatever. It is carelessness and the idea that it couldn't happen to you.

Nonsense. You can't be more careful than sticking with one partner, you're just engaging in excuse making. Just kissing can lead to herpes.

I didn't say it was safer than monogamy. I simply stated that the problem is with unsafe sex, not multiple partners. I have had many partners in my lifetime. I have never had an STD. I use protection unless we are in a monogamous relationship.

And it is not a matter of being bored with a partner. The point is that you can love more than one person and can enjoy romantic dates without drama. My spouse and I are as compatible as any couple I know. But there are still things I like to do that she does not. And she likes to do things I do not. Rather than push the person to do things or go places they don't enjoy, we have the opportunity to enjoy what we enjoy with another person who shares that interest and is more than "just a friend".

You sure do like shifting your words around. You said:

"The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known."

To which I replied that nothing is safer than monogamy, now you pretend you were just saying unsafe sex is the problem. Well duh, obviously unsafe sex is more likely to lead to disease but the FACT is nothing is safer than monogamy. It's not debatable.

The fact that you have the discipline and will of Superman doesn't mean that the sexual diseases aren't get spread around through promiscuous sex. Your preferences and enjoyments don't alter the facts.

Actually, the absolute safest way is complete abstinence.

No, I don't have the discipline and will of Superman. I simply respect promises I have made.

But the subject is about relationships and nothing is safer than monogamy. It doesn't need to be rethought if one is content with their partner. If they aren't they need to examine it but an open marriage is a marriage in name only.

 

[WinterBorn]

The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known. It is a basic rule for everyone I have ever known who practices polyamory. I have unprotected sex with only one person. Anyone else is shit outta luck if they want unprotected sex.

The problem is not multiple partners or whatever. It is carelessness and the idea that it couldn't happen to you.

Nonsense. You can't be more careful than sticking with one partner, you're just engaging in excuse making. Just kissing can lead to herpes.

I didn't say it was safer than monogamy. I simply stated that the problem is with unsafe sex, not multiple partners. I have had many partners in my lifetime. I have never had an STD. I use protection unless we are in a monogamous relationship.

And it is not a matter of being bored with a partner. The point is that you can love more than one person and can enjoy romantic dates without drama. My spouse and I are as compatible as any couple I know. But there are still things I like to do that she does not. And she likes to do things I do not. Rather than push the person to do things or go places they don't enjoy, we have the opportunity to enjoy what we enjoy with another person who shares that interest and is more than "just a friend".

You sure do like shifting your words around. You said:

"The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known."

To which I replied that nothing is safer than monogamy, now you pretend you were just saying unsafe sex is the problem. Well duh, obviously unsafe sex is more likely to lead to disease but the FACT is nothing is safer than monogamy. It's not debatable.

The fact that you have the discipline and will of Superman doesn't mean that the sexual diseases aren't get spread around through promiscuous sex. Your preferences and enjoyments don't alter the facts.

Actually, the absolute safest way is complete abstinence.

No, I don't have the discipline and will of Superman. I simply respect promises I have made.

But the subject is about relationships and nothing is safer than monogamy. It doesn't need to be rethought if one is content with their partner. If they aren't they need to examine it but an open marriage is a marriage in name only.

You are welcome to your opinions, but I see no issue with my relationship with my spouse. If either of us wants a monogamous relationship we will both stop seeing other people. Its not as if we date every night anyway. But we find it makes our lives richer. As I said, it is not for everyone.

 

[Iceweasel]

Nonsense. You can't be more careful than sticking with one partner, you're just engaging in excuse making. Just kissing can lead to herpes.

I didn't say it was safer than monogamy. I simply stated that the problem is with unsafe sex, not multiple partners. I have had many partners in my lifetime. I have never had an STD. I use protection unless we are in a monogamous relationship.

And it is not a matter of being bored with a partner. The point is that you can love more than one person and can enjoy romantic dates without drama. My spouse and I are as compatible as any couple I know. But there are still things I like to do that she does not. And she likes to do things I do not. Rather than push the person to do things or go places they don't enjoy, we have the opportunity to enjoy what we enjoy with another person who shares that interest and is more than "just a friend".

You sure do like shifting your words around. You said:

"The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known."

To which I replied that nothing is safer than monogamy, now you pretend you were just saying unsafe sex is the problem. Well duh, obviously unsafe sex is more likely to lead to disease but the FACT is nothing is safer than monogamy. It's not debatable.

The fact that you have the discipline and will of Superman doesn't mean that the sexual diseases aren't get spread around through promiscuous sex. Your preferences and enjoyments don't alter the facts.

Actually, the absolute safest way is complete abstinence.

No, I don't have the discipline and will of Superman. I simply respect promises I have made.

But the subject is about relationships and nothing is safer than monogamy. It doesn't need to be rethought if one is content with their partner. If they aren't they need to examine it but an open marriage is a marriage in name only.

You are welcome to your opinions, but I see no issue with my relationship with my spouse. If either of us wants a monogamous relationship we will both stop seeing other people. Its not as if we date every night anyway. But we find it makes our lives richer. As I said, it is not for everyone.

Thanks for permission to not agree with you. I feel safer already. But I personally don't see the purpose in being married and swinging, unless it's a tax advantage thing or something.

 

[TheProgressivePatriot]

This is why you should never get married... Also I thought you were gay and did not realize you were married to the opposite sex?

Now if your significant other is open to a open relationship then by all means, and who am I to judge?

As for me, well again reason why I do not do marriage because of the cheating gene and it is better to be single...

It's not about marriage. It's about committed relationships a the boundaries and rules that couples set in those relationships, which do not have to always be "traditional" You can have it all if you can get your head around that.

Me gay and don't realize that I was married to the opposite sex? WTF? Where did that come from? This has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

From your op you stated your wife and I am to believe you meant a female, or am I incorrect?

Also from all your threads about gay marriage and rights I just figured you were gay, so excuse the fuck out of me for getting that impression from your other threads.

Also open relationships is your business and your personal life and for me if you are married then you took a vow to be faithful to your spouse no matter if they grant you permission to commit adultery. So it is better to stay single if you prefer to have multiple partners, but that is my mere opinion.

You can believe whatever you want. It is beyond idiotic to make an assumption about someone's sexuality based on their political position on gay right and gay men don't refer to a male partner as "wife"

People often write their own marriage vows and set their own rules and parameters regarding sexuality and many other things. Being "faithful" can mean different things to different people.

From your comment on it being better to stay single, it's apparent that you did not read the linked article in the OP, and if you did read it, you did not understand much. This is just another case of someone spouting off on something that they little understanding of, just to make a splash.

 

[Papageorgio]

Having grown weary of the plethora of Trump, bathroom bills and immigration related threads, I thought that I would try something entirely new. The topic is consensual non monogamy. My wife and I were, for many years "into it" Now, for various reasons we are "retired" from the lifestyle, but open to possibilities if the right opportunity presented itself. In recent years it has not. It did work for us, for the most part, and notwithstanding a few "rocky episodes" we mostly have fond memories of our exploits. Sometimes we just look at each other and laugh about "the shit we did "
Anyway, I'm interested in seeing what kind of interest and reaction I get to this topic. Please read the whole article and comment thoughtfully and honestly. Feel free to share your experiences, if any, with any form of non monogamy while in a committed relationship.

Rethinking monogamy today - CNN.com

Selected excerpts

CNN)Could opening your relationship to others benefit you and your partner?
For many couples, monogamy -- staying sexually exclusive with one partner -- is expected and assumed. It's even included in many marriage vows. But as some people are increasingly realizing, monogamy isn't for everyone.

As a couples sex therapist, I've found that some may feel committed to each other yet still feel they have fundamental differences in sexual interests or desires. In the past, many of these couples might have chosen to break up, cheat or just "settle."

But these days, some are finding they want to challenge their notions about sexual exclusivity.
non-monogamy right for you?

So how do you know whether trying consensual non-monogamy -- which includes polyamory, the ability to have sexual and emotional relationships with others -- is worth exploring? First, it helps to understand how you and your partner define sexual openness, as well as sexual exclusivity.
"There are as many different types of non-monogamous relationships as there are people in them," Vrangalova said.

For some couples, non-exclusivity might take the form of attending "play parties" together and swapping partners, watching other couples have sex, dating other people or even entering into polyamorous relationships with multiple partners.

Consensual non-monogamy can add spark and fulfillment to a healthy relationship. "It can actually remove the fear inherent in some monogamous relationships related to the potential for abandonment -- for example, if their partner were to meet someone else," explained Pitagora.

"For other people, there can be a deep sense of relief in not having to be the sole source of sexual satisfaction, and this can lead to greater opportunities for intimacy and bonding," she said.
You'll want to consider issues such as jealousy, honesty and safe sex practices, just to name a few. It's also worth remembering that non-monogamy still carries a stigma in many circles, so think about how you and your partner will address that concern.

I am in a poly relationship. I love my girl very much, but that does not mean I cannot, or do not, love others as well. What we do is not swinging. It is not all about sex. It is about dating and relationships. It is also about complete honesty.

Aside from the obvious benefits of having dates and (often) more sex, poly eliminates the crazy jealousy that can sour or ruin a relationship. I have been accused of cheating numerous times. I never cheated on anyone, but the accusations were toxic. This is completely eliminated in polyamory. I am allowed to date and have sex with other women, so cheating doesn't exist (except for the possibility of breaking any ground rules we set).

It is not for everyone. But I am happier now than I have been in decades. For us it works great.

Finally someone who contributes something meaningful to the topic. Thank you for sharing. But watch out, Blaylock is gonna get you!

What the hell did you expect, you got what you wanted, attention.

Now you can get all offended when someone with a different view than yours, classic victim BS!

You don't want dialogue, you want agreement.

 

[esthermoon]

Nowadays to my knowledge only Islamic countries have polygamy. No other countries has this kind of love and marriage.
I think it would not be simple making laws about polygamy in non Muslim countries.
It seems many people don't want it

 

[WinterBorn]

I didn't say it was safer than monogamy. I simply stated that the problem is with unsafe sex, not multiple partners. I have had many partners in my lifetime. I have never had an STD. I use protection unless we are in a monogamous relationship.

And it is not a matter of being bored with a partner. The point is that you can love more than one person and can enjoy romantic dates without drama. My spouse and I are as compatible as any couple I know. But there are still things I like to do that she does not. And she likes to do things I do not. Rather than push the person to do things or go places they don't enjoy, we have the opportunity to enjoy what we enjoy with another person who shares that interest and is more than "just a friend".

You sure do like shifting your words around. You said:

"The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known."

To which I replied that nothing is safer than monogamy, now you pretend you were just saying unsafe sex is the problem. Well duh, obviously unsafe sex is more likely to lead to disease but the FACT is nothing is safer than monogamy. It's not debatable.

The fact that you have the discipline and will of Superman doesn't mean that the sexual diseases aren't get spread around through promiscuous sex. Your preferences and enjoyments don't alter the facts.

Actually, the absolute safest way is complete abstinence.

No, I don't have the discipline and will of Superman. I simply respect promises I have made.

But the subject is about relationships and nothing is safer than monogamy. It doesn't need to be rethought if one is content with their partner. If they aren't they need to examine it but an open marriage is a marriage in name only.

You are welcome to your opinions, but I see no issue with my relationship with my spouse. If either of us wants a monogamous relationship we will both stop seeing other people. Its not as if we date every night anyway. But we find it makes our lives richer. As I said, it is not for everyone.

Thanks for permission to not agree with you. I feel safer already. But I personally don't see the purpose in being married and swinging, unless it's a tax advantage thing or something.

I didn't say it was safer than monogamy. I simply stated that the problem is with unsafe sex, not multiple partners. I have had many partners in my lifetime. I have never had an STD. I use protection unless we are in a monogamous relationship.

And it is not a matter of being bored with a partner. The point is that you can love more than one person and can enjoy romantic dates without drama. My spouse and I are as compatible as any couple I know. But there are still things I like to do that she does not. And she likes to do things I do not. Rather than push the person to do things or go places they don't enjoy, we have the opportunity to enjoy what we enjoy with another person who shares that interest and is more than "just a friend".

You sure do like shifting your words around. You said:

"The poly community is one of the most adamant about safe sex of any bunch I have known."

To which I replied that nothing is safer than monogamy, now you pretend you were just saying unsafe sex is the problem. Well duh, obviously unsafe sex is more likely to lead to disease but the FACT is nothing is safer than monogamy. It's not debatable.

The fact that you have the discipline and will of Superman doesn't mean that the sexual diseases aren't get spread around through promiscuous sex. Your preferences and enjoyments don't alter the facts.

Actually, the absolute safest way is complete abstinence.

No, I don't have the discipline and will of Superman. I simply respect promises I have made.

But the subject is about relationships and nothing is safer than monogamy. It doesn't need to be rethought if one is content with their partner. If they aren't they need to examine it but an open marriage is a marriage in name only.

You are welcome to your opinions, but I see no issue with my relationship with my spouse. If either of us wants a monogamous relationship we will both stop seeing other people. Its not as if we date every night anyway. But we find it makes our lives richer. As I said, it is not for everyone.

Thanks for permission to not agree with you. I feel safer already. But I personally don't see the purpose in being married and swinging, unless it's a tax advantage thing or something.

I enjoy jazz music, and my darling does not care much for it. I enjoy an evening at a jazz club more with a date. I get the best of what I enjoy and she doesn't have to go to listen to music she doesn't care for. My sweetie loves dancing. I have a bad knee. She has the opportunity to do what she loves to do with someone she cares about or loves, and I don't have to get a cortizone shot in my knee the next day.

As I said in my first post here, it is not just about sex.

 

[OldLady]

With a few notable exceptions, you can count on the fact that monogamy is a woman's perspective.

You can count on the fact that it was patriarchs who insisted on it. The woman must be a virgin at marriage; you must not steal another man's "property," (wife). They made up those rules (Moses was not a woman; neither was Jesus. Just so you know)

 

[OldLady]

Nowadays to my knowledge only Islamic countries have polygamy. No other countries has this kind of love and marriage.
I think it would not be simple making laws about polygamy in non Muslim countries.
It seems many people don't want it

There are still a few Mormon sects who do. It is "illegal" in this country, but polygamy is practiced within their religion and the government doesn't go out of its way to stop it. I don't see the harm in polygamy, although I wouldn't be comfortable with it for myself.
I'm not THAT good at sharing.