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Question -
Is it better to make a sacrifice for someone (and bitch about it later and/or bring it up); or
To just not have made the sacrifice at all?
If you're really into someone though, and they do all your favorite things...Then adapting a little to suit their wishes might not be over the line
If you're really into someone though, and they do all your favorite things...Then adapting a little to suit their wishes might not be over the line
This is more along the lines of what I was getting at... here is an example:
Wife agrees to go to an event with you that she doesn't want to attend, but you want her there.
She goes (sacrifice) but bitches about it afterwards and brings it up as how she made this sacrifice.
Better the she went or better she just not go -- ?
desire to change your partner is mostly a grass-is-greener thing.
How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
If you're really into someone though, and they do all your favorite things...Then adapting a little to suit their wishes might not be over the line
This is more along the lines of what I was getting at... here is an example:
Wife agrees to go to an event with you that she doesn't want to attend, but you want her there.
She goes (sacrifice) but bitches about it afterwards and brings it up as how she made this sacrifice.
Better the she went or better she just not go -- ?
desire to change your partner is mostly a grass-is-greener thing.
How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
desire to change your partner is mostly a grass-is-greener thing.
How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
My father in law is like this with all his kids.
He does things for them that they dont even ask him to do, and then later bitches about the sacrifice he made.
Theyd much rather he shut the fuck up and not make the sacrifice to begin with because bitching about it afterward taints it. It negates that it was nice, or selfless, and is an admission that it was done for their own eventual personal gain and not the favor receiver's.
desire to change your partner is mostly a grass-is-greener thing.
How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
Still, why not just leave the relationship (especially if no kids/marriage) - I think that's control.
Let's see how much power I can exert over this person.
Or, maybe, they like them sexually, but just not personally....?
desire to change your partner is mostly a grass-is-greener thing.
How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
Still, why not just leave the relationship (especially if no kids/marriage) - I think that's control.
Let's see how much power I can exert over this person.
Or, maybe, they like them sexually, but just not personally....?
desire to change your partner is mostly a grass-is-greener thing.
How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
all people need to make adjustments in a long term relationship.
You certainly dont want relationship advice from delta4embassy. He has little to no understandi g of real world humans and is a sadistic pervert who never leaves his computer chair but to replenish his tissue supply.My father in law is like this with all his kids.
He does things for them that they dont even ask him to do, and then later bitches about the sacrifice he made.
Theyd much rather he shut the fuck up and not make the sacrifice to begin with because bitching about it afterward taints it. It negates that it was nice, or selfless, and is an admission that it was done for their own eventual personal gain and not the favor receiver's.
I'm like this in life. I don't want anyone doing something for me, because I don't want to hear about it later, and, I'm not sure I'm "selfless" enough to repay them. If that means I end up old and lonely, so be it. I understand the costs and am willing to pay them.
you really want to draw a line that the relationship is less important to you than going to see a movie that is more something your S.O. will like?
desire to change your partner is mostly a grass-is-greener thing.
How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
Still, why not just leave the relationship (especially if no kids/marriage) - I think that's control.
Let's see how much power I can exert over this person.
Or, maybe, they like them sexually, but just not personally....?
Many fear being alone again more than they find disagreements in the relationship bothersome. Like how abused partners stay with their abusers rather than leave. Why I've always felt being more self-reliant and learning to be happy 'alone in an empty room' was a good idea. Should never let another person become to deciding factor in our happiness. If not happy on your own you only make yourself dependent upon relationships. And that makes you being used or abused mroe likely.
You certainly dont want relationship advice from delta4embassy. He has little to no understandi g of real world humans and is a sadistic pervert who never leaves his computer chair but to replenish his tissue supply.
Anyhoo - yea selflessness is a special gift not even expected of everyone.
It can be argued on a deeper level that it doesnt exist at all - meaning, even for selfless acts the actor may be doing so to make themselves feel good - and to what end is that then selfish and where becomes selfless?
Interesting topic bruvva
It depends on the sacrifice; simply lying to us and letting us miss our turn is not worth the sacrifice.Question -
Is it better to make a sacrifice for someone (and bitch about it later and/or bring it up); or
To just not have made the sacrifice at all?