Relationship Roles

[dilloduck]

Do you mean....

R1, R2, L1, R2, Left, Down, Right, Up, Left , Down, Down, Down

No--I was going to go a little deeper into the instinctual sacrifices that men have made as civilization has "progressed" but maybe some other time would be better.

 

[Abbey Normal]

I think these roles should be discussed and agreed to prior to marriage and which ever both parties can agree to and fulfill is the best for that couple.

I agree that this is an important first step. You need to know your future spouse's attitude about such important topics. I'd add that for some women, maybe many women, when they are at the premarital discussion stage, they don't anticipate how hard it is actually going to be to leave their baby with someone else and go off to work. You should definitely discuss it, but be prepared for even the best intentions to change once that baby arrives.

I was very fortunate. When my daughter was born, I was testing and writing about software for a magazine, and my manager let me come in to do the testing on some days, and work at home writing at least three days a week. And it was still hard to leave her those other two days.

 

[Semper Fi]

I'm for the traditional family all the way. Man works, and woman stays home with the kids. Like D said though, during school a part-time job for the wife couldn't hurt. Don't get me wrong though, I believe men should do their part in child-raising and household maintenence.

 

[Trigg]

Working part-time always worked well for our family.

I worked full-time until we started having kids, with the first one I went down to part-time. After the second I took 5 years off and just for good measure had another boy.

I am now back to 2 days a week and enjoy getting out of the house and keeping my skills. Since it's only my youngest at home he has a good time at pre-school being around other kids who he's not related to.

Couldn't vote in the poll since there were no options for part-time

 

[007]

Bah, my mom hates kids, too, and I'm still here...with a sister. Plus, who's going to take care of you when you pass about, oh, 90 or so, and who's going to come to your house on Thanksgiving?

I don't need anyone to come to my house on Thanksgiving. And I'll take care of myself or die.

Both husband and wife working full time is the best way to get ahead in this world today. I heard some time back that I will have to make somewhere around ten times the money in my life that my parents did to be able to purchase exactly what my parents had.

Some people want kids, some don't. Neither is right or wrong. It's a choice.

 

[dmp]

I don't need anyone to come to my house on Thanksgiving. And I'll take care of myself or die.

Both husband and wife working full time is the best way to get ahead in this world today. I heard some time back that I will have to make somewhere around ten times the money in my life that my parents did to be able to purchase exactly what my parents had.

Some people want kids, some don't. Neither is right or wrong. It's a choice.

Best way to get ahead of what? Financial 'goals' are worthless, IMO.

See, I don't need money or things. Those are nice. I need the love of a good woman and God-Fearing kids. As is, I'm doing okay w/ money...and my kids are great!

But really - I'd guess 80% of 2-income familes are that way out of choice.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

Best way to get ahead of what? Financial 'goals' are worthless, IMO.

See, I don't need money or things. Those are nice. I need the love of a good woman and God-Fearing kids. As is, I'm doing okay w/ money...and my kids are great!

But really - I'd guess 80% of 2-income familes are that way out of choice.

There's nothing wrong with financial goals Just because they aren't for you doesn't mean they're worthless for everyone.

 

[Semper Fi]

There's nothing wrong with financial goals Just because they aren't for you doesn't mean they're worthless for everyone.

That's what the IMO was for at the end of his post. I'd have to agree with D, but after a while financial goals may be necessary, as to keep one out of financial ruin.

 

[007]

Best way to get ahead of what? Financial 'goals' are worthless, IMO.

I meant ahead as, no, I won't be downtown standing in the soup line looking for a hand out. I don't want anyone to have to take care of me, and I don't want to be a burden on society. And two people, both with full time incomes, can be more financialy secure than one person with one income. Thankfully, I have three income sources, and am doing alright myself.

I'd never tell a kid that was looking to me for guidance, that financial goals were worthless.

See, I don't need money or things. Those are nice. I need the love of a good woman and God-Fearing kids. As is, I'm doing okay w/ money...and my kids are great!

I can agree with you here. I don't think there's anything in the world that can top the mutual love in a good relationship. That's something I envy happily married couples for. Statistically, they even live longer.

But really - I'd guess 80% of 2-income familes are that way out of choice.

I'd say neccessity.

 

[Bonnie]

I'm for the traditional family all the way. Man works, and woman stays home with the kids. Like D said though, during school a part-time job for the wife couldn't hurt. Don't get me wrong though, I believe men should do their part in child-raising and household maintenence.

That sounds great and normally I would say if that's what both partners decide to do even better. But in today's world I just don't how comfortable I would be being completely dependant financially on a husband because some men do cheat and when a woman is more financially independant she has more options for leaving the marriage. But that's just how I feel. I give many kudos to women who are that secure about their marriages.

 

[archangel]

That sounds great and normally I would say if that's what both partners decide to do even better. But in today's world I just don't how comfortable I would be being completely dependant financially on a husband because some men do cheat and when a woman is more financially independant she has more options for leaving the marriage. But that's just how I feel. I give many kudos to women who are that secure about their marriages.

I agree that it is okay for women to be financially independent...however women cheat equally as much as men...probably even more so...at least in my experience...both spouses cheated with a smile on their faces...I played the good hubby role and was taken aback...no matter...I still agree with your premis they should seek their own income level...however not on the back of the good guys still out there!

 

[dmp]

There's nothing wrong with financial goals Just because they aren't for you doesn't mean they're worthless for everyone.

and?

 

[Bonnie]

I agree that it is okay for women to be financially independent...however women cheat equally as much as men...probably even more so...at least in my experience...both spouses cheated with a smile on their faces...I played the good hubby role and was taken aback...no matter...I still agree with your premis they should seek their own income level...however not on the back of the good guys still out there!

There's nothing in what I said that is on the backs of any men. It's just simple commmon sense for women to be indpendant in some way so as to not leave themselves vulnerable in case they need to be on their own. Women who are financially strong are in a much better position to not take garbage from their mates if that happens to be the case. Yes women cheat probably just as much sadly, but generally most men are already financially stable when in a marriage so they are not in as vulnerable a position financially as women who may give up their education or their jobs for home and family which is a very noble thing to do but can be dangerous if not with the right man. That's all Im saying.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

There's nothing in what I said that is on the backs of any men. It's just simple commmon sense for women to be indpendant in some way so as to not leave themselves vulnerable in case they need to be on their own. Women who are financially strong are in a much better position to not take garbage from their mates if that happens to be the case. Yes women cheat probably just as much sadly, but generally most men are already financially stable when in a marriage so they are not in as vulnerable a position financially as women who may give up their education or their jobs for home and family which is a very noble thing to do but can be dangerous if not with the right man. That's all Im saying.

Where's your cents (pun) of humor!!?!??!

 

[Bonnie]

Where's your cents (pun) of humor!!?!??!

Right here sparky :chains: