Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by Weatherman2020, Nov 30, 2019.

  1. Weatherman2020
    Offline

    Weatherman2020 Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    53,662
    Thanks Received:
    10,595
    Trophy Points:
    2,100
    Location:
    Left Coast, Classified
    Ratings:
    +67,545
    upload_2019-11-30_6-31-17.jpeg

    WASHINGTON, D.C.—A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt on the Clintons, sources at the FBI confirmed today.

    The official cause of death was suicide, though the bullet wounds were in the back of the turkey's head and the bird lacked opposable thumbs with which to operate a firearm.

    The turkey had been publicly pardoned for the crime of being delicious and set free by Trump in a popular White House Thanksgiving tradition. Shortly after being released, the turkey confirmed its possession of "credible" information that would lead to the indictment of Hillary Clinton, posting on the bird's social media account that it was a good thing Trump had pardoned the turkey, so the world could find the truth out about the Clintons.

    Metro police discovered the turkey's body later, shot twice in the back of the head and stabbed in the back. There was a nearby handwritten note confirming that the death was "not fowl play."

    Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 5
  2. sparky
    Offline

    sparky Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2008
    Messages:
    13,384
    Thanks Received:
    1,348
    Trophy Points:
    280
    Location:
    paradise
    Ratings:
    +6,525
    Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.

    One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth," he says.

    "And what is your question, Kenneth?" she asks.

    "I have three questions," he says.
    "First -- whatever happened in Benghazi?
    "Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
    "And, third -- whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"

    Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

    When they resume Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time.
    Who has a question?"

    A different boy -- little Johnny -- puts his hand up.

    Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
    "Johnny," he says.

    "And what is your question, Johnny?" she asks.

    "I have five questions," he says.

    "First -- whatever happened in Benghazi?
    "Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
    "Third -- whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
    "Fourth -- why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
    "And, fifth -- where's Kenneth?"


    ~S~
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 3

Share This Page