Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really ticked. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE." The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her housecoat and ran out to the driveway and brought in the present. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.