Planned Parenthood: Interesting Discussion

[uptownlivin90]

So I'm listening to a radio talkshow and a major question comes up. Let's say two people are married or living together having unprotected sex. The woman is on birth control, and the understanding between the two is that she will remain on birthcrontol. all of a sudden the woman wants a child... but she knows for whatever reason... they can't afford it, the man's in between jobs, the man has goals that don't include children at the moment, etc... the man will not agree to having children. Does she have the right (moral not legal) to take herself off the pill without him knowing and get pregnant.

Now the legal question is if the courts then have the right to FORCE him to pay child support for a baby he did not intend on having and that his wife/fiance/girlfriend PURPOSELY almost tricked him into having?

Which all broke down to this question... within a marriage or relationship should a woman ask for the man's consent... or better question should there be recognized mutual consent between the two parties involved before a child is had?

Now the answer to this for me was pretty obvious. Yes, there should... but I can't tell you how many women got on the radio and said things like "it's my body and if I want a child he's just going to have to deal with it"... as if having a damn child was like getting a new pair of shoes.

Just thought I'd start a discussion on family/relationships...etc. Opinions?

 

[chanel]

I'm with you. Certainly trapping a man into child support should fall into the area of fraud. But with that said, it would be darn hard to prove.

I've read about men paying child support for years for children that aren't even theirs. They can't even sue for back payments even when the DNA test is negative.

Men who don't want children and/or are sleeping with conniving partners should wear condoms at all times. In fact I think they make a pill for men now too. I wouldn't trust anyone I wasn't married to, no matter how much I loved him/her.

Women have all the power in this area. But in the words of Spidey - with great power, comes great responsibility.

 

[AllieBaba]

He had sex, the baby's his.

He gets to pay child support. You don't want to take the chance, don't have sex.

 

[Bill O'Olberman]

Birth control is also the responsibility of the guy in the relationship so hes gotta cover his ass(figuratively) by wearing a condom, however much that may indeed suck. To answer one of your question, no one should have the moral right to decieve another person on such an important responsibility that will change the mans life forever. If the woman in question did that do me I would disassociate myself as far as possible from the bitch, lets face it she would be nothing short of a complete bitch, while trying to raise my kid. Also, I dont believe that mutual consent should be necessary to have a kid, sometimes people having sex do get pregnant and you should not "force" the woman to have an abortion that may conflict with her values because a guy doesnt want a kid.

Another question thats kind of the opposite line of thought, does a man or woman who knowling is unable to have kids have a moral right to tell this to their partner?

fixed

 

[Immanuel]

Also, I dont believe that mutual consent should be necessary to have a kid, sometimes people having sex do get pregnant and you should "force" the woman to have an abortion that may conflict with her values because a guy doesnt want a kid.

Did you really mean that or did you miss the word not as in should not force the woman to have an abortion?

Immie

 

[uptownlivin90]

I'm with you. Certainly trapping a man into child support should fall into the area of fraud. But with that said, it would be darn hard to prove.

I've read about men paying child support for years for children that aren't even theirs. They can't even sue for back payments even when the DNA test is negative.

Men who don't want children and/or are sleeping with conniving partners should wear condoms at all times. In fact I think they make a pill for men now too. I wouldn't trust anyone I wasn't married to, no matter how much I loved him/her.

Women have all the power in this area. But in the words of Spidey - with great power, comes great responsibility.

Absolutely, and I've read about that kind of fraud too. It's crazy. Personally I'm pro-choice, but it in itself is an unfair system all together. If a woman doesn't want the responsability of a child she has the right to ditch that responsability. Note I don't negate the serious thought process that comes with the termination of pregnancy, and I'm familiar with the decision making that goes on.

Should a man be forced however to take responsibility for a child he's made it clear from the beginning he never wanted?

That's just a QUESTION... for all the people ready to bite my head off.

Personally I think the FOCUS ON THE FAMILY and PARENTHOOD in our society has gone completely out of wack. The fabric of the family is being torn apart and I don't buy into the "prayer in schools" or "christian values" bullshit.

When you have a situation when many women believe that once you have sex your consenting to having a child and therefore they can have a child while married to you without mutual consent poses a problem. It takes two to make a child and it takes two to raise one. If BOTH parents are not ready for a child... that should be respected. If this kind of fraud can be proven it should be prosecuted, which of course it's not.

Understood about the condom thing of course, but I'm talking about deception rather then just carelessness.

 

[xotoxi]

Once the child is born, can't the man revoke all his parental rights and responsibilities?

If not, he should be able to, especially if he explicitly did not want children.

See...this is why people should need a special license to have children!

 

[uptownlivin90]

Also, I dont believe that mutual consent should be necessary to have a kid, sometimes people having sex do get pregnant and you should not "force" the woman to have an abortion that may conflict with her values because a guy doesnt want a kid.

Of course this has nothing to do with bringing pregnancy to term or not. It has to do with

Another question thats kind of the opposite line of thought, does a man or woman who knowling is unable to have kids have a moral right to tell this to their partner?

Do you mean moral obligation? Personally I believe that marriages would be much better off if people discussed this prior to "jumping the broom". If the individual that can have kids wants kids and reveals this to that partner... yes they have a moral obligation to tell them.

Western society has turned marriage into just two people who love each other living together, when that's certainly not the case. What I mean by that is there's certain people I can be head over heels in love with that... being honest with myself... I can't get married to. Because ain't just about "love" and all that.

You are picking someone who you are going to spend your life with. Therefore marriage is not just a "thing" it's a contract. The details of which need to be worked out beforehand.

 

[uptownlivin90]

Once the child is born, can't the man revoke all his parental rights and responsibilities?

If not, he should be able to, especially if he explicitly did not want children.

See...this is why people should need a special license to have children!

No, they cannot from what I understand.

 

[dilloduck]

He had sex, the baby's his.

He gets to pay child support. You don't want to take the chance, don't have sex.

So if a man consents to having sex with a woman he is consenting to bear the consequences of whatever the woman's decisions is as far as the fate of the fetus ?

 

[Luissa]

Birth Control is not 100% effective, if he has any brain he knows that. So he is taking a risk anyways, even if he doesn't know she has gone off birth control. If You have sex, you are part responsible for any baby that is made in the process.

 

[Luissa]

Once the child is born, can't the man revoke all his parental rights and responsibilities?

If not, he should be able to, especially if he explicitly did not want children.

See...this is why people should need a special license to have children!

No, they cannot from what I understand.

I think he can as long as the mother agrees to it and is not on government assistance.

 

[Mr. H.]

No form of birth control is 100% effective. Not even a tubal ligation. Both should be aware of that.

 

[Mr. H.]

Birth Control is not 100% effective, if he has any brain he knows that. So he is taking a risk anyways, even if he doesn't know she has gone off birth control. If You have sex, you are part responsible for any baby that is made in the process.

Stop typing faster than me!

 

[dilloduck]

Birth Control is not 100% effective, if he has any brain he knows that. So he is taking a risk anyways, even if he doesn't know she has gone off birth control. If You have sex, you are part responsible for any baby that is made in the process.

AND partially responsible for any resulting abortion ?

 

[Luissa]

Birth Control is not 100% effective, if he has any brain he knows that. So he is taking a risk anyways, even if he doesn't know she has gone off birth control. If You have sex, you are part responsible for any baby that is made in the process.

AND partially responsible for any resulting abortion ?

That is something they would have to work out between themselves. If the man wants an abortion I think he should have to pay for half of it, if he doesn't well that is something the women would have to think about it. No situation, is cut and dry. I do think anytime they have the baby, the father should have to help support the child.
My kid's dad at first wanted me to have an abortion and had a problem with paying support, of course the state felt differently.

 

[chanel]

We have a big enough problem in this country with dead beat dads. Allowing any single man to "sign off" on an unwanted pregnancy would be EVERYONE'S problem in countless ways. As much as we glamorize casual sex, there really is no such thing. A one night stand can end up being an eternal hangover. Be careful out there folks. lol

 

[Old Rocks]

He had sex, the baby's his.

He gets to pay child support. You don't want to take the chance, don't have sex.

LOL. Another choice. If you really don't want children, vasectomy.

 

[Ipsl]

The male pill is coming out soon.

I would say the woman is in the wrong and there are situations where a woman will take a used condom and impregnate herself.

 

[chanel]

Huh?