The old woman speaking of her dates. As soon as I wake up, (Will Power) helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see (John). Then (Charlie Horse) comes along, & when he's here, he takes up a lot of my time & attention. When he leaves, (Arthur Ritis) shows up & stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired & very glad to go to bed with (Ben Gay). What a life! Oh, yes, I'm also flirting with (Al Zyme)r; or whatever his name is. I forget! and I'm thinking of calling (Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Jose Quervo or Johnny Walker) to come over and keep me company. Now remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper... the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.