New Government Stimulous Comming Down the Pike

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Ringel05, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. Ringel05
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    Ringel05 Diamond Member

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    Just got this in an e-mail. Don't know where it originated.

    Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic

    Stimulus payment.

    This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and
    A format:

    Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    Q. Where will the government get this money?
    A. From taxpayers.

    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
    A. Only a smidgen.

    Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
    A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
    high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
    A. Shut up.

    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
    spending your stimulus check wisely:

    If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to
    China .
    . If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
    . If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .

    . If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and
    Guatemala .

    . If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .

    . If you purchase useless stuff, it will go
    to Taiwan .

    . If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it
    will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:

    1. spending it at yard sales, or
    2. going to ball games, or
    3. spending it on prostitutes, or
    4. beer or
    5, tattoos.

    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)

    ***
    I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a
    yard sale, and drink beer with her! Yay!
     
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  2. theDoctorisIn
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    theDoctorisIn Senior Mod Staff Member Senior USMB Moderator

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    I'm gonna spend mine on BEER! I'll spend it all on Miller, so the money stays here in the US...

    Miller is union beer, too
     
  3. KittenKoder
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    KittenKoder Senior Member

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    Ringel, so funny ... and so true ... but still so funny. Gotta give you props for that.
     
  4. Ringel05
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    Ringel05 Diamond Member

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    I'll stick with micro brewers
    American and non-union :lol:
     
  5. Midnight Marauder
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  6. theDoctorisIn
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    theDoctorisIn Senior Mod Staff Member Senior USMB Moderator

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    Personally, I'm a fan of the Dogfish Head 90 minute IPA. (The 120 minute IPA as well, but that's really hard to find).
     
  7. Ringel05
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    Ringel05 Diamond Member

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    I have to admit, I rarely drink anything any more and beer, never any longer. When I did micros were few and far between, I perferred European (specifically German and English) brews. My favorite was Sam Smiths, (not Sam Adams), Nut Brown, Pale Ales and Oatmeal Stout. It's a wonderful adjunct to ball games, tatoos, prostitutes and yard sales. :eusa_eh:
     
  8. theDoctorisIn
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    theDoctorisIn Senior Mod Staff Member Senior USMB Moderator

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    I'm a fan of the Nut Brown, the Oatmeal Stout is a bit too much for me - it eats like a meal. I haven't tried the Pale Ale.
     
  9. Ringel05
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    Ringel05 Diamond Member

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    Usually I would take the outmeal stout and mix it half and half with the pale ale, basically a "black and white". It cuts the heavy flavor of the stout but only provides half a days nutrients. :lol: Try mixing it with Harps for a good "black and tan".
     

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