My unmarried daughter is expecting her third child

[barryqwalsh]

I would be very grateful if you could give your opinion on the heartbreak I feel as my daughter is expecting her third baby as a single parent. She has a good degree, works extremely hard, has her own home but just wasn't lucky enough to have met a decent man she could marry.





Dear Mary: My unmarried daughter is expecting her third child - Independent.ie

 

[ScienceRocks]

This shouldn't be an religious issue. I'll agree with you that the father should marry and help raise his baby...It is just the right thing to do.

 

[Pumpkin Row]

Matthew is right, it's not a religious issue, it's a common sense issue. If the person in question didn't sleep with people before knowing them properly, they wouldn't have any kids with 'fathers' that wouldn't stay with the 'family'. One doesn't even have to take common sense all the way, one could go halfway and sleep with a person while protected, but this person didn't even do that much.

 

[Muhammed]

I would be very grateful if you could give your opinion on the heartbreak I feel as my daughter is expecting her third baby as a single parent. She has a good degree, works extremely hard, has her own home but just wasn't lucky enough to have met a decent man she could marry.





Dear Mary: My unmarried daughter is expecting her third child - Independent.ie

Congratulations!!!

I'm the father of 5 adult girls ranging in age from 26 to 32 and now another daughter who is almost 3 years old. (It's fatherhood, the sequel for me).

My eldest daughter made me a grandfather a few years ago and I would welcome more grandchildren with open arms. How can you be "heartbroken" over being blessed with another grandchild? I wish I had more grandkids.

 

[Mousterian]

When contraception is so freely available, and so many different methods, there almost certainly is something that would work for anyone. Hard to imagine a medication that would be incompatible with condoms. Religious indoctrination, of course is another matter.

 

[theHawk]

Not sure what advice your looking for. The linked story makes it sound like the parent wished she would get an abortion. Pretty sickening.

I'm not buying into this idea she "wasn't lucky enough to meet a decent guy to marry". She choose to be with losers, or drove the men off.

But, it sounds like she is owning up to her mistakes and is fine, not sure what the OP is complaining about.

 

[JustAnotherNut]

This doesn't really make much sense to me........

1. a supposed caring grandparent that is more worried about what people think. This isn't the 50's/60's and many people choose not to marry.

2. birth control ineffective because of medications....as stated earlier there are condoms & other methods.

3. She can't find a man good enough to marry, but she can find plenty to sleep with/get pregnant by?????


Then there's this....the last line in the article.

In the meantime, I know that you will continue to be as good a mother and as good a Christian as you know how.

What does that supposed to mean????? 'As you know how'??


I do understand the Christian principles involved here, but something just aint right here

 

[midcan5]

People often live lives that seem so alien to others, who are we to judge. Since her religious beliefs manage a great deal of her decision making she lives her life in her way. Hopefully the children are taken care of and given enough knowledge and experience to make their own choices, Is she happy are the kids happy. maybe more than those who judge her life. Anyone who has lived long enough in the real world knows there are worse situations than this.

 

[fncceo]

There is precious little incentive for any woman in this day and age to marry. There is no economic incentive and because all stigma has been removed from divorce, most marriages today have a shelf life shorter than UHT milk.

I submit that lifelong marriage is an archaic concept.

 

[Vastator]

Marriage as it was known a generation or two ago, is a dying institution.

 

[Bonzi]

Okay so I have multiple issues with this.

1. After baby number 1 she should have realized she needed a different kind of contraception, and there is always a condom.

2. Hilarious! She never lived with anyone, what is the point of mentioning that? Were all 3 kids with the same man? If not, well.....

3. Good men are not hard to find. Apparently, she doesn't mind sleeping with men who are not good anyway, so....

 

[waltky]

News flash:

Birth control pills were invented back in the 60's.

Any sexually active woman not takin' `em...

... is playin' the ol' get-knocked-up-an'-hang-him-for-child-support game.

 

[DGS49]

With no recriminations for past behavior, the thing to focus on is, the entire family needs to do whatever they collectively can to make the childrens' lives as "normal" and fulfilling as possible. There should be a strong, permanent male presence in their lives, in possible contrast to the mother's transitory boyfriends. If that needs to be you, step up (if your daughter will allow it).

Children are a blessing, not a curse, and no constructive purpose will be served by criticizing the mother's "life choices," especially in front of the kids.

Good luck. Be strong and patient.