More Computer Viruses!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Trinity, May 16, 2005.

  1. Trinity
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    Trinity VIP Member

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    More Computer Viruses!
    DANGER: new viruses discovered!:

    Congressional Virus v 2.0 : Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

    Tipper Gore Virus : When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.

    Government Ecomomist Virus : Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

    New World Order Virus : Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

    Warren Commission Virus : Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

    David Duke Virus : Makes your screen go completely white.

    Pat Buchanan Virus : Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

    Texas Virus : Makes sure it's bigger than any other file.

    Adam And Eve Virus : Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

    Warren Beatty Virus : Constantly tries to prove it's virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.

    Airline Virus : You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

    Freudian Virus : Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

    PBS Virus : Your PC stops what it's doing every few minutes to ask for money.

    Jimmy Hoffa Virus : Nobody can find it.

    Kevorkian Virus : Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.

    Healthcare Virus : Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends a you a bill for $4,500.

    LAPD Virus : It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defence".

    Billy Graham Virus : When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the screen.

    Michael Jackson Virus : Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This Virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
     
  2. KarlMarx
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    KarlMarx Senior Member

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    The Viagra (aka Levitra) virus - keeps your computer up and running longer

    The Bill Clinton virus infects your computer but then denies ever having infected your computer

    The Hillary Clinton virus - claims that your computer was infected by a vast right wing conspiracy

    The Democratic virus - infects your computer then blames it all on George W Bush

    The Democratic virus (part II) - starts a filibuster whenever you attempt to install anything on your computer

    The John Kerry virus - claims that it spent the Christmas of 1968 infecting your computer

    The Dan Rather virus - claims that your computer was the one that wrote those National Guard memos back in 1970.

    The ACT-UP virus - claims the reason that your computer is infected is due to homophobia and lack of funding

    The J Lo virus - marries your computer, then divorces it

    The Britney Spears virus - marries your computer, then gets the marriage annuled 24 hours later

    The Supreme Court virus - replaces all the HELP pages on your computer with the constitutions of other countries

    The ACLU virus - attempts to have your Operating Sytem declared null and void by judicial fiat

    The Jane Fonda virus - infects your computer, then makes a half hearted attempt to apologize 35 years later

    The Ward Churchill virus - compares your computer to Adolph Eichmann because it was infected by a virus

    The Martha Stewart virus - infects your computer then redecorates it

    The Queer Eye virus - infects your computer and does a total makeover of your life
     

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