Merrick Garland admits to once cheating at Scrabble!

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

 

[BlackFlag]

I don't give a fuck what he admits too.

He's a democrook, therefore a traitor. He has no business stealing our oxygen, and neither do you Dr Hate.


.

Oh geez you poor thing

 

[BlackFlag]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

 

[CrusaderFrank]

He would have been Hillary's 5th gun grabber; he would have ended the Constitution and the American Experiment along with it

How can you not believe that there is a Creator watching over the Faithful after having been saved from the Hillary Presidency?

 

[CrusaderFrank]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

 

[BlackFlag]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

I know Garland never raped anyone. That’s why you don’t like him.

 

[CrusaderFrank]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

I know Garland never raped anyone. That’s why you don’t like him.

Garland tried to blow me at Studio 54 back in 1974. He said he was going through an "experimental phase" in his life. I can't remember the exact date

 

[BlackFlag]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

I know Garland never raped anyone. That’s why you don’t like him.

Garland tried to blow me at Studio 54 back in 1974. He said he was going through an "experimental phase" in his life. I can't remember the exact date

You say that about everybody

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

I know Garland never raped anyone. That’s why you don’t like him.

Frank also not crazy about Garland because he never grabbed a pussy, pinned anyone to a bed or stuck his dick in anyone's face.

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

I know Garland never raped anyone. That’s why you don’t like him.

Garland tried to blow me at Studio 54 back in 1974. He said he was going through an "experimental phase" in his life. I can't remember the exact date

You say that about everybody

Frank spends far too much time in gay bath houses

 

[Meathead]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

Who's he?

 

[miketx]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

That's what democrats do, rape and kill.

 

[CrusaderFrank]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

I know Garland never raped anyone. That’s why you don’t like him.

Frank also not crazy about Garland because he never grabbed a pussy, pinned anyone to a bed or stuck his dick in anyone's face.

You don't know that, Jake. Garland has got shifty, beady eyes.

 

[CrusaderFrank]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

I know Garland never raped anyone. That’s why you don’t like him.

Garland tried to blow me at Studio 54 back in 1974. He said he was going through an "experimental phase" in his life. I can't remember the exact date

You say that about everybody

What can I say, I was popular back in the day

Did I mention I knew Kamala Harris?

 

[BlackFlag]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

That's what democrats do, rape and kill.

That’s what you worship. Rapists are your heroes, and murder is what you vote for.

 

[miketx]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

That's what democrats do, rape and kill.

That’s what you worship. Rapists are your heroes, and murder is what you vote for.

Goebbels flows out of you.

 

[DrLove]

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

He never raped anyone you stupid fucktard. You're thinking of Bill Clinton

I know Garland never raped anyone. That’s why you don’t like him.

Garland tried to blow me at Studio 54 back in 1974. He said he was going through an "experimental phase" in his life. I can't remember the exact date

You say that about everybody

What can I say, I was popular back in the day

Did I mention I knew Kamala Harris?

Yo Zappa - If you want to be the guy who insists they were sexually abused by a female pol or candidate, be my guest.

You're professional and personal lives will be ruined
You'll get death threats from crazies
You'll be doxed and your email will be hacked
You'll need to move out your home and go underground
You'll ultimately spend 5 years in prison for the lie and wasting FBI time

GO!

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “it’s time to face the consequences of my actions,” Judge Merrick Garland admitted on Thursday that he cheated at Scrabble one time, in 2003.

Garland, who recently informed the Senate Judiciary Committee that he was “still available” to be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, choked back tears as he confessed to the “disgraceful” Scrabble incident.

“In late 2003, I was playing a game of Scrabble with my wife and Googled a word while she was off using the bathroom,” Garland said. “I deeply regret my behavior, which was reprehensible and inexcusable.”

Garland revealed that the word he Googled, “muzjiks,” all but sealed his victory in the Scrabble contest.

“Although this was the only time I have ever cheated at any word game, I believe it disqualifies me to sit on the United States Supreme Court,” he said. “Therefore, I hereby withdraw my name from all future consideration.”

Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said that Garland’s confession vindicated Republicans’ decision not to grant him a single meeting when he was Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee.

“This revelation confirms our darkest suspicions about Merrick Garland,” Grassley said. “It looks like we dodged a bullet.”​

Merrick Garland Admits to Cheating at Scrabble Once

He’s got to rape a few broads before republicans will start supporting him

That's what democrats do, rape and kill.

That’s what you worship. Rapists are your heroes, and murder is what you vote for.

Goebbels flows out of you.

Baghdad Bob and this Smelly Orange Slime of some sort flows out of you.
Take a shower please

 

[DrLove]

I don't give a fuck what he admits too.

He's a democrook, therefore a traitor. He has no business stealing our oxygen, and neither do you Dr Hate.


.

Oh geez you poor thing

Pete is doing his level best to win the Angriest, Most Humorless, Most Vulgar & Off-Topic Poster Award for the the 6th straight year!

 

[BlackFlag]

I don't give a fuck what he admits too.

He's a democrook, therefore a traitor. He has no business stealing our oxygen, and neither do you Dr Hate.


.

Oh geez you poor thing

Pete is doing his level best to win the Angriest, Most Humorless, Most Vulgar & Off-Topic Poster Award for the the 6th straight year!

Amazing the names I’ve seen banned over the years, but that guy is allowed to stick around.