Men Being... Politicaly Correct..lol

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Lumpy 1, Jun 4, 2012.

  1. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Come on Guy's let's get with the Program..

    Eh, just thought you might enjoy this............:D

    ------------:eusa_shifty:


    Politically Correct

    She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

    She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

    She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

    She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

    She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

    She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

    She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

    She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

    She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

    She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

    She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

    She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

    She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE........:thup:

    She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

    She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

    She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

    She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

    She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

    She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

    She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

    She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.

    She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

    She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP -She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

    She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.

    She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

    She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

    She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

    :udaman:

    Men & Women Jokes
     
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  2. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Sheesh..no comments
     
  3. The Infidel
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    The Infidel EVIL CONSERVATIVE

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    My reality impaired breasted American is thermally innaccessible of being sexually focused on causing temporary blood displacement down there because she is terminally attractive and she is skeletally prominent ....


    :lol:
     
  4. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    This thread seems to be thermally inaccessible..
     
  5. Liability
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    Liability Locked Account. Supporting Member

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    Creep.
     
  6. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    eh.... go nibble your warts..
     
  7. Matthew
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    Matthew Blue dog all the way!

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. Matthew
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    Matthew Blue dog all the way!

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Good one.. got more?
     
  10. Matthew
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    Matthew Blue dog all the way!

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    What does a woman and carpet have in common? if you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them later.

    What do you do when the dish washer is broken? Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work.

    Why did the woman cross the road? It doesn't matter, why was she out of the kitchen in the first place?

    Why cant women ski? Because there's no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.

    What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? The back of my hand.

    How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

    Why don't women need a watch? There's a clock on the stove.

    Why do they call it PMS? Cause mad cow disease was already taken.

    Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

    Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

    What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.

    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

    Why don't women need driver's licenses? There's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.

    A truck hits a woman, who's at fault? The truck driver, what the hell was the truck doing in the kitchen?

    What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

    Why did God invent shopping carts? To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.

    How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None..let her cook in the dark.

    Why is a wedding dress white? So the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge.

    What do you call a woman with one black eye? A quick learner.

    What do you call a woman with no black eyes? A good cook.

    How do you turn a dish washer into a snow blower? You give the bitch a shovel.

    What do you do when your wife comes out the kitchen to complain? Shorten the chain.
     

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