Male bashing? Nahhhhh

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Mr. P, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN
    AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By FEB. 15th. NEW CLASSES FORMING.


    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


    Class 1
    How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    **** I guess she still lives in the 70s, before icemakers were common in most every home.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 2
    The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    ****Nope, that’s a woman’s job.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
    Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? ---
    Group Practice.
    ****If it were we’d do it. We have a reason for leaving the seat up ya know.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
    Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Same, same, everyone knows things on the floor are dirty, geezzzzz.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    ***Don’t be stupid, that’s why women clear the table.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    Loss Of Identity --- Giving The check book To Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    ***Only an idiot or drunk would do that!
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
    And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
    Open Forum.
    ***Sounds like a woman to me.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    ***And sometimes it pays off. To bad it’s not ALL the time or there would be more.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
    ***NO THEY DON’T!
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    ****No, it’s Humanly Impossible!
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


    Class 11
    Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing.
    *** HA! How can we when you tell us we CAN’T do something just like Mom always did?
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    ***Ya want a whimp, huh? Get a gay male friend.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
    Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
    *****Nag, nag, nag, I forgot what you said, was it important? Nahhhhh
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 14
    The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    ******They have restaurants, ya know. You cook, I'm going out.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
     
  2. rtwngAvngr
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    rtwngAvngr Guest

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    THis Is how feminism is ruining men. Expecting us to give two shits about their Obsessive Compulsive disorders is too much to ask.
     
  3. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    My goodness! Such bitterness!
     
  4. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    Here's an interesting question (at least, interesting to ME ;) )...
    BESIDES sex, why does a man want a woman as a companion or wife?
     
  5. GotZoom
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    GotZoom Senior Member

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    Same reason a woman wants a man as a companion and a husband.
     
  6. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    On another board, awhile ago, I edited that very piece to be more 'real'...If i can find it, I'll re-post.

    :)
     
  7. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    doh! was on THIS board!


    http://www.usmessageboard.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17672&highlight=REGISTRATION
     
  8. rtwngAvngr
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    rtwngAvngr Guest

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    I'm better now. I took my pills.
     
  9. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Why I want a woman for a wife - by dPimp.


    I want to be married to a woman because the right woman will complete me. Compliment my strengths and make-up-for my weakness. The right woman will provide insight and wisdom I won't get; a perspective I may not see without her guidance. The right woman can make me not just comfortable and secure but make me a better man. The right woman will become an outlet for my passions and desires. The right woman will smell nice doing so. Boobs. Laughter. Second only to a child's laugh is the laugh of a beautiful woman - a woman I love; more importantly (sorta selfish) but the feeling I get by making a woman laugh; providing daily quick wit (as I'm able). And perhaps the best thing - With the right woman I do those things for HER too. It's not one-sided. It's two individuals approaching this game of life (not the board game, but maybe, if we're bored - but i get to be the blue car) from unique but complimenting perspectives...sharing their intimate lives, passions, fears, joy, and hope...and junk and stuff, or whatever.


    Sorta.

    :D
     
  10. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    Thanks D!
    Oh, and the red car is prettier, anyway! ;)
     
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