Leather-bound Toilet Paper with Gilded Edges

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by Capstone, Dec 6, 2012.

  1. Capstone

    Capstone Gold Member

    Feb 14, 2012
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    As a strident anti-Christian, I've often been criticized for 'cherry-picking' the scriptures in order to paint the God of the Bible in a negative light. Along with this criticism, I've been told that a more thorough reading might foster a more Christian-friendly understanding of some of the perplexing stories that litter the pages of the OT in particular.

    So, in the interest of greater understanding, I've developed a foolproof method for reading the Bible cover to cover. The idea is to combine the reading sessions with some mundane daily activity, thereby attaching a sort of practical significance to the readings. Among the candidates, my daily crunch seems to offer the best circumstances for achieving the desired result. I plan to set the bar low (no more than 3 pages per sitting), but here's the beauty: I plan to rip out and wipe my ass on the pages as I go! Using this method, I'll never lose my place; I'll never be tempted to cut my readings short (I'm pretty sure it'll take at least 3 of those super thin pages with the gilded edges to get the job done.); and best of all, I'll save a buttload of cash on toilet paper! At a rate of one crunch per day/3 pages per crunch, I figure I'll get through the entire Bible in less than a year-and-a-half.


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