Lateral Thinking Puzzles

[Peach]

A man demanded his Wife get him something that went from 0 to 160 in ten seconds flat. What did she buy him?

 

[Billy_Kinetta]

Viagra?

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

A man demanded his Wife get him something that went from 0 to 160 in ten seconds flat. What did she buy him?

A scale.

My scale says "OUCH" when ever my wife steps on it.

 

[Peach]

Yes!

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

I have been on a diet for quite a while now, and I just cant lose the 200 lbs to make my life better. What should I do?

 

[Peach]

I have been on a diet for quite a while now, and I just cant lose the 200 lbs to make my life better. What should I do?

Get a divorce.

 

[G.T.]

two good ones so far!~ nice thread

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

Man walks into a bar with a worried look on his face. As he approaches the bar, everyone could hear him saying "I'm a wigwam, I'm a tepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a tepee. What does the bartender say to this guy?

 

[Auld Phart]

Man walks into a bar with a worried look on his face. As he approaches the bar, everyone could hear him saying "I'm a wigwam, I'm a tepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a tepee. What does the bartender say to this guy?

Hiya Watha

 

[norwegen]

Man walks into a bar with a worried look on his face. As he approaches the bar, everyone could hear him saying "I'm a wigwam, I'm a tepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a tepee. What does the bartender say to this guy?

Have a stiff one. You're two tents.

 

[Peach]

A man wants to enter an exclusive club; watching behind a bush he hears the doorman say 'twelve', the man at the door says 'six', he is allowed to enter. Next a woman goes to the door, the doorman says 'six', the woman at the door says "three". She is allowed to enter.

Finally the man in the bushes walks to the door, the doorman says 'ten'; he replies "five". The door is shut in his face, what should have he replied?

 

[norwegen]

A man wants to enter an exclusive club; watching behind a bush he hears the doorman say 'twelve', the man at the door says 'six', he is allowed to enter. Next a woman goes to the door, the doorman says 'six', the woman at the door says "three". She is allowed to enter.

Finally the man in the bushes walks to the door, the doorman says 'ten'; he replies "five". The door is shut in his face, what should have he replied?

Three

 

[Peach]

Yes!

 

[Peach]

How many successful jumps is an Air Force jumper required to make before she graduates?

 

[Auld Phart]

How many successful jumps is an Air Force jumper required to make before she graduates?

all of them

 

[Peach]

Yes!

 

[Vastator]

I have been on a diet for quite a while now, and I just cant lose the 200 lbs to make my life better. What should I do?

Try divorce...

 

[Peach]

How did Jane mix a jug of lemonade and one of milk in a larger jug, without ruining either?