Kids Today: Spoiled or..... ?

[strollingbones]

yea the facebook thing....people let them kids ask you to be friends....i feel awkward with that....i just have to really monitor what i say

 

[Bonzi]

You need to call the kids bluff. If they want to call you in and be given over to social services, let's see how they feel about that....

Kids manipulate, you have to grow a set and call them on it.

No worse than a women....

Not all women are like that. I know I'm not. I just want a home, food basics, TV, a computer and to be left alone unless there is something of substance to discuss or a place/event to go to. I don't expect my husband to read my mind. I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to say what I want (which is not much) - I don't talk a lot, and expect nothing.

Many women/men want....Want a man to do his socio-economic sexually biased job and provide without question to a woman that refuses to even pick up after herself, men can be this whey also, but I'm not ghey...In my boat, you don't row, you don't stay in the boat...

Is that your situation? A woman that doesn't pick up after herself? You mean basic house cleaning?

 

[Bonzi]

Parents today want to be their kid's friend. They are too stupid to realize that the 'friendship' with kids needs to come when they are adults, long after the active parenting part is over. Parents today (no not all but damn an awful lot of them) think nothing of giving their kids a cell phone at 7 or 8 years old. They think nothing of letting them at 10 have full access to the internet on computers and phones, twitter accounts, facebook, etc and do little to no monitoring. The let the whole world into their children's brain and think nothing of it. Morons.

Cable tv comes with parental controls ... we used them (and still do, yeah I still block channels like mtv and the like) because too much of what's on is just plain shit. The neighbors were letting their boys play Call of Duty when the kids were 5 and 6 years old. My youngest is now 18, gave us a run for the money (still does but she has matured tons in the past year or so) was the one who screamed the 'I hate you' crap. My response? 'I'm not here to be liked, I'm here to parent you'. lol, that made her even madder.

I'm far from a perfect parent, but my kids never said they hated me nor have they ever had a temper tantrum.
... and I have never spanked them. It CAN be done.

 

[strollingbones]

ahhh bonzi you are new here.....these men bitch all day about their wives....the wives they love and adore....except skull pilot....he never says anything negative about his wife....moon never says anything positive about his....

 

[strollingbones]

how old are your kids

 

[Zoom-boing]

Parents today want to be their kid's friend. They are too stupid to realize that the 'friendship' with kids needs to come when they are adults, long after the active parenting part is over. Parents today (no not all but damn an awful lot of them) think nothing of giving their kids a cell phone at 7 or 8 years old. They think nothing of letting them at 10 have full access to the internet on computers and phones, twitter accounts, facebook, etc and do little to no monitoring. The let the whole world into their children's brain and think nothing of it. Morons.

Cable tv comes with parental controls ... we used them (and still do, yeah I still block channels like mtv and the like) because too much of what's on is just plain shit. The neighbors were letting their boys play Call of Duty when the kids were 5 and 6 years old. My youngest is now 18, gave us a run for the money (still does but she has matured tons in the past year or so) was the one who screamed the 'I hate you' crap. My response? 'I'm not here to be liked, I'm here to parent you'. lol, that made her even madder.

I'm far from a perfect parent, but my kids never said they hated me nor have they ever had a temper tantrum.
... and I have never spanked them. It CAN be done.

You are fortunate. How old are your kids? My oldest was easy peasy, never a problem. Middle kid is special needs, boatload of behavior issues until he was around 14 or so, then great improvement (two steps forward, one step back but slowly moved in the right direction. He's 22 now and behavior is not at all like he was when he was younger). Youngest grew up in his shadow and is stubborn as shit, not surprised she pulled the nonsense she did. Testing, always testing us. I read once that 'those who need love the most will ask for it in the most unloving ways'. Truth.

 

[HR Pufnstuf]

I think that much of the poor behavior has to do with the lack of father's in a home. Fathers add a key dynamic into a family. For the girls it is the unquestionable love that they crave so much. For boys it provides them with the knowledge that there is always someone around that can kick their butt when necessary. This does not mean that fathers do not love the sons unquestionably. Nor does it mean that fathers do not discipline their daughters, it is just done differently for the two. As a father I knew my roles and my kids all turned out great. My daughter was not promiscuous looking for love and my sons grew up respectful of authority. Both have strong work ethics, manors and a good heart. At least that is my opinion, I could be wrong.

 

[strollingbones]

parenting is hard enough with both of you there.....i just dont see how single parents do it...i really dont...the majority of us...just try to do the best we can

 

[Bonzi]

Parents today want to be their kid's friend. They are too stupid to realize that the 'friendship' with kids needs to come when they are adults, long after the active parenting part is over. Parents today (no not all but damn an awful lot of them) think nothing of giving their kids a cell phone at 7 or 8 years old. They think nothing of letting them at 10 have full access to the internet on computers and phones, twitter accounts, facebook, etc and do little to no monitoring. The let the whole world into their children's brain and think nothing of it. Morons.

Cable tv comes with parental controls ... we used them (and still do, yeah I still block channels like mtv and the like) because too much of what's on is just plain shit. The neighbors were letting their boys play Call of Duty when the kids were 5 and 6 years old. My youngest is now 18, gave us a run for the money (still does but she has matured tons in the past year or so) was the one who screamed the 'I hate you' crap. My response? 'I'm not here to be liked, I'm here to parent you'. lol, that made her even madder.

I'm far from a perfect parent, but my kids never said they hated me nor have they ever had a temper tantrum.
... and I have never spanked them. It CAN be done.

You are fortunate. How old are your kids? My oldest was easy peasy, never a problem. Middle kid is special needs, boatload of behavior issues until he was around 14 or so, then great improvement (two steps forward, one step back but slowly moved in the right direction. He's 22 now and behavior is not at all like he was when he was younger). Youngest grew up in his shadow and is stubborn as shit, not surprised she pulled the nonsense she did. Testing, always testing us. I read once that 'those who need love the most will ask for it in the most unloving ways'. Truth.

they are grown now. 27 and 19.

I'm not saying there weren't issues! I'm just saying they didn't say "I Hate You" or have temper tantrums.

My oldest was a nerd and had terrible social skills - he's much better now, but still, not where he should be. He used to have frustration/anger issues when he was younger, but more directed at things, not people. Very angry when he couldn't figure something out, for example. He was a straight A student and has an excellent job now. (Makes more money than I do....)

My youngest was TERRIBLE in school. We had to stay on top of him just for him to get B's and C's. He's now in the military and is getting married next month.

I was a single parent until my oldest was 15 and my youngest 8. I was not a "coddling" mom. I let my youngest play football and never pampered them when they faced life's challenges. I just gave them advice and encouragement. I was affectionate and told them I loved them often and cuddled with them when they were little, don't get me wrong. But kids need to learn that life can be hard a times and they need know how to handle it, and that they CAN handle it.

 

[JOSweetHeart]

Do you think the kids today are spoiled, or, do you think that it's just another generation that's different?

I see more kids basically doing what they want without parents restraining their children.
I see more kids and teens not saying "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" if they bump into you etc.
I see more decisions being made by parents based on what their kids think or feel instead of being parents.

Are kids any different today then they were 10, 20, 30 years ago?

To me, they are spoiled. They think that they can do whatever they want and not have to suffer a price which brings me to another way that has made them spoiled. They think that they can get everything handed to them. No, what they obviously do not know is that if they want something, they have to earn it and that if they take responsibility for their words and actions, they will then get more privileges.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[Bonzi]

I think in addition to parents being lazy, they view their kids as a reflection of themselves. So.... they don't want their kid to appear like a "loser" because then it will make THEM look like a "loser"....

My kids were the only kids in school that didn't have cell phones (among other thing "all the other kids had"). They both are on their own now, will good paying jobs, they are not emotionally damaged or traumatized.

A don't give a rats butt what the other parents, teachers or anyone else thinks about it... or thought about it.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

bingo...kids threatening parents with social services etc....i have seen boys hit their mothers and the father not do a damn thing....the first and only time my son raised his hand.....i jerked the car off the road and jerked him up by his jacket and told him...you feel froggy you fucking jump and i will kick your dumb ass...ah i was younger and stronger back then but he has respect for his elders and is still alive....

again being a good parent is hard.....i would show up at places he said he would be....sure it embarrassed the hell outta him but he knew i would do it...does that mean he was an angel....o hell no...i was good with being told by him that he hated me...i told him that was fine i was not his friend i was his mother...sure it broke my heart but fuck all if i would let him know that...

Yep...by the time you're old enough to whoop your old mans ass you realize he did you a favor.
Todays kids are still emotionally undeveloped when the reach adulthood.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

I remember the days when if an adult told your parents you did something wrong you had better be able to prove different.
Now days the little darlings can do no wrong in the eye's of the parent.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Do you think the kids today are spoiled, or, do you think that it's just another generation that's different?

I see more kids basically doing what they want without parents restraining their children.
I see more kids and teens not saying "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" if they bump into you etc.
I see more decisions being made by parents based on what their kids think or feel instead of being parents.

Are kids any different today then they were 10, 20, 30 years ago?

Judging the microcosm here the only thing you could say is children by and large are well-trained, respectful, and behave much as they should.

Unlike the current trend of hovering over-protective parents, the kids here (due in no small part to the nature of the apartment being circular, with courtyard/play area on the interior well-protected) our's are allowed more autonomy perhaps than their fellows living elsewhere. But not to bad effect. Afaik at least. Don't see or hear them when inside - could be doing anything.

 

[Bonzi]

Yep...by the time you're old enough to whoop your old mans ass you realize he did you a favor.
Todays kids are still emotionally undeveloped when the reach adulthood.

remember the days when if an adult told your parents you did something wrong you had better be able to prove different.
Now days the little darlings can do no wrong in the eye's of the parent.

Not only that, they are given favor in everything. I see people catch baseballs and it's like you are obligated to give it to a kid... why???

If I see a 70 y/o man catch a baseball, he should keep it. He's 70! A kid has his whole life to catch a ball. What about that dad that DIED trying to catch a ball for his kid .... it's just nuts.

 

[Bonzi]

... and what's worse, by my saying that (that kids don't have to be favored) I'll get called a child hater, just as I was on my other thread about dogs.....