dilloduck
Diamond Member
Is jealously in a realtionship evidence of someone feeling cheated out of something ? A fear that it may happen or has someones behavior already been construed as cheating or not fulfilling an expectation of exclusiveness ?
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Jealously in relationships
- Thread starter dilloduck
- Start date
Is jealously in a realtionship evidence of someone feeling cheated out of something ? A fear that it may happen or has someones behavior already been construed as cheating or not fulfilling an expectation of exclusiveness ?
Interesting question. By jealousy, do you mean, rip roaring insane, hurling accusations jealous, or just a mild discomfort?
I try not to be jealous, in general. It rears it's ugly head every so often, I suppose (the mild discomfort type). In general, I would think it's just being concerned about what you can't see and, for whatever reason, not feeling sure enough of the other person to know that whatever is going on, isn't taking anything away from you. It could also well be that the other person is doing things which make you question the relationship. That can spill into jealousy, I suppose.
I have one friend whom I think would define jealousy as being insecure.
dilloduck
Diamond Member
- Thread starter
- #3
Is jealously in a realtionship evidence of someone feeling cheated out of something ? A fear that it may happen or has someones behavior already been construed as cheating or not fulfilling an expectation of exclusiveness ?
Interesting question. By jealousy, do you mean, rip roaring insane, hurling accusations jealous, or just a mild discomfort?
I try not to be jealous, in general. It rears it's ugly head every so often, I suppose (the mild discomfort type). In general, I would think it's just being concerned about what you can't see and, for whatever reason, not feeling sure enough of the other person to know that whatever is going on, isn't taking anything away from you. It could also well be that the other person is doing things which make you question the relationship. That can spill into jealousy, I suppose.
I have one friend whom I think would define jealousy as being insecure.
I'm open for all degrees of jealousy. I just thought it fit with the discussion on cheating but separated it for the sake of clarity.
Is it a sign of another realtionship expectation that is in jeopardy ?
I'm open for all degrees of jealousy. I just thought it fit with the discussion on cheating but separated it for the sake of clarity.
Is it a sign of another realtionship expectation that is in jeopardy ?
Just my opinion, but I think jealousy is less a reflection on the relationship than it is a reflection of the person who is feeling jealous. (unless the other person is intentionally doing things to make the other person feel jealous to feed their own issues).
dilloduck
Diamond Member
- Thread starter
- #5
I'm open for all degrees of jealousy. I just thought it fit with the discussion on cheating but separated it for the sake of clarity.
Is it a sign of another realtionship expectation that is in jeopardy ?
Just my opinion, but I think jealousy is less a reflection on the relationship than it is a reflection of the person who is feeling jealous. (unless the other person is intentionally doing things to make the other person feel jealous to feed their own issues).
I tend to agree but is it another indication that the weird unspoken rules in a marriage contract have been broken---at least in the eyes of one partner ?
I have to think about that one. Wouldn't mind seeing what others have to say on this subject.
When jealousy is justified, it is really jealousy?
In that case, it seems to me it is the just final alert to the other person that whatever they are doing is not going to fly much longer.
OTOH, if it is based on one's imagination and insecurity, well then...it's a personal problem that will probably wreck a good relationship.
In that case, it seems to me it is the just final alert to the other person that whatever they are doing is not going to fly much longer.
OTOH, if it is based on one's imagination and insecurity, well then...it's a personal problem that will probably wreck a good relationship.
dilloduck
Diamond Member
- Thread starter
- #9
When jealousy is justified, it is really jealousy?
In that case, it seems to me it is the just final alert to the other person that whatever they are doing is not going to fly much longer.
OTOH, if it is based on one's imagination and insecurity, well then...it's a personal problem that will probably wreck a good relationship.
Who determines if it's justified ?
The women!When jealousy is justified, it is really jealousy?
In that case, it seems to me it is the just final alert to the other person that whatever they are doing is not going to fly much longer.
OTOH, if it is based on one's imagination and insecurity, well then...it's a personal problem that will probably wreck a good relationship.
Who determines if it's justified ?
And the only times I have been jealous, I later found out even the guy told me I was being crazy that I had good reason to be!
- Nov 29, 2008
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I think there are different forms of jealousy.
Insecurity can be manifested as a form of jealousy.
Think on that song that goes, "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty woman your wife...."
I had an insanely jealous husband in my first go around. He cheated a lot so I assumed that was the main reason he was so jealous. He was also a control freak too. The kind that did not want his woman going to the grocery store alone.
Insecurity can be manifested as a form of jealousy.
Think on that song that goes, "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty woman your wife...."
I had an insanely jealous husband in my first go around. He cheated a lot so I assumed that was the main reason he was so jealous. He was also a control freak too. The kind that did not want his woman going to the grocery store alone.
dilloduck
Diamond Member
- Thread starter
- #12
The women!When jealousy is justified, it is really jealousy?
In that case, it seems to me it is the just final alert to the other person that whatever they are doing is not going to fly much longer.
OTOH, if it is based on one's imagination and insecurity, well then...it's a personal problem that will probably wreck a good relationship.
Who determines if it's justified ?
And the only times I have been jealous, I later found out even the guy told me I was being crazy that I had good reason to be!
glad you clarified that one !
You are better off if you just let the women decide, especially if they are pregnant, your life will be a lot easier!The women!Who determines if it's justified ?
And the only times I have been jealous, I later found out even the guy told me I was being crazy that I had good reason to be!
glad you clarified that one !
I think there are different forms of jealousy.
Insecurity can be manifested as a form of jealousy.
Think on that song that goes, "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty woman your wife...."
I had an insanely jealous husband in my first go around. He cheated a lot so I assumed that was the main reason he was so jealous. He was also a control freak too. The kind that did not want his woman going to the grocery store alone.
Very true. Jealousy can be based on an irrational fear, but the person who is jealous is usually insecure about something in themselves, whether it be their looks, weight, shyness...
Andrew2382
Gold Member
- Oct 1, 2008
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no reason for me ever to be jealous
no one is better then me
no one is better then me
no reason for me ever to be jealous
no one is better then me
But sounds like you may have an image problem.
- Nov 29, 2008
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Sounds like my husband. His deal is "No one better for thee than me."no reason for me ever to be jealous
no one is better then me
Amanda
Calm as a Hindu cow
- Nov 28, 2008
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I think jealousy comes in different forms. There's the insecure person that sees threats everywhere, but then there's when someone is really stepping over your personal boundary of what's acceptable.
For me in an exclusive relationship I expect fidelity, but I don't suspect he's cheating just because he wants to hang out with his friends. When things become secretive then I think there's reason to suspect something is going on that shouldn't be. I don't think I've ever felt like something was wrong when it wasn't, so I think trusting your gut is important. Even if you were wrong and nothing was going on, if you're with a person that makes you worry then you're probably not a good match anyway.
For me in an exclusive relationship I expect fidelity, but I don't suspect he's cheating just because he wants to hang out with his friends. When things become secretive then I think there's reason to suspect something is going on that shouldn't be. I don't think I've ever felt like something was wrong when it wasn't, so I think trusting your gut is important. Even if you were wrong and nothing was going on, if you're with a person that makes you worry then you're probably not a good match anyway.
no reason for me ever to be jealous
no one is better then me
But sounds like you may have an image problem.
That, or he can feel free to POST his picture and we can be the judge!
Andrew2382
Gold Member
- Oct 1, 2008
- 3,994
- 551
- 153
no reason for me ever to be jealous
no one is better then me
But sounds like you may have an image problem.
That, or he can feel free to POST his picture and we can be the judge!
Imagine the hottest guy in the world...but better looking.
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