Is There NEVER a Time to Hit a Woman? NEVER?

[pillars]

I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people. I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.

I think that's bullshit.

But I have to agree with GT that something is off about BP's story. I smell a strong smell of bullshit.

Feel free to ask TrinityPower. She knows the entire story and even met the girl I am referring to several years later.

BTW...reactions like that really annoy me. Steve McNair...killed by a psycho girlfriend. Fred lane...killed by a psycho wife. It happens more than you think. Your reaction is a contributing factor to why men are reluctant to admit they have been abused. People either call them pussies or say they don't believe it. If a woman claimed to be abused everyone would go out of their way to display compassion and anger toward her abuser. If a man claims it, he is a liar. Reactions like that are part of the problem

Do I believe men are abused by women? Absolutely. In fact, my post makes that clear.

Your story still stinks of bullshit.

 

[ChrisL]

I'm lucky I
If I thought a person was going to kill me, I think I would take my kid and leave them immediately and worry about the consequences later, OR I would call the police and tell them that this person was threatening me. I don't think I would have slept in the home with that person who wanted to kill me.

21 years ago if you were the man you'd be charged with kidnapping and they would put you in prison and hand the child over to the mentally unfit mother. Then where would you be? You're not as wise as you think you are, Chris.

He did the right thing - he bided his time - he knew what he was up against - he waited until he could get a witness and was able to get custody of his child. 21 yrs ago it was not easy for a man to get custody of the child.

Hey, I'm entitled to my own opinions on subjects!! If it was me, I would have done things differently, I'm sure! K?

And you most likely wouldn't have your child either. He gained custody of his child. He won. He went through hell so to speak - but he saved his child and he was able to raise her. To God be the glory.

To be willing to admit when you are wrong? Is not a sign of weakness, Chris.

Goodnight.

What are you going on about? He says that she had beaten him black and blue before this particular incident. He was one of those people hoping he could change crazy. I know better.

You always seem to think so

Hey, I've never been with anyone who abused me and I wouldn't put up with such treatment.

 

[BluePhantom]

And leave your child in a psychopath's custody?

Did you not know this person was a psychopath before you impregnated her?

As I said, she only freaked out when we got to Pittsburgh. She was a young girl who had never been out of Lewiston, Idaho where we grew up. That's a town of maybe 24,000 back then. She was from a poor family. The furthest she had ever gone was Spokane, Washington about two hours away. Spokane was her idea of a big city. Now take that girl who had just given birth at 19 years old and drag her 2,000 miles across the country and put her in fucking Pittsburgh and make her a mother and a wife. You want to talk about culture shock? No wonder she flipped out.

What? I was a 16-year-old mother. Give me a fucking break.

And when you were a 16 year old mother did you get taken from your home and put from one culture tootally different culture? There's a bit of a difference in culture between west-coast, small town Lewiston, Idaho and east-coast big city Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Were you taken from all your friends and family? Were you dragged from a town of 24,000 into a city of 2 million with a totally different attitude and no one to help you manage the transition?

I don't blame her for freaking out. I don't blame her at all. I completely understand. But my understanding didn't solve the problem or eliminate the threat.

I can say for sure that I wouldn't want to KILL anyone. Good grief!

Oh rubbish. If you have never wanted to kill someone you have never been in love. How can you possibly say what you would have done under those circumstances never having lived it? As I raised my daughter I never made any secret about her natural mother, but I was selective in what I told her. I told my daughter that her mother was in an impossible situation and I had sent her away because although she loved our daughter with all her heart she just wasn't ready to deal with the circumstances she was put into.

I believe that was the truth

 

[BluePhantom]

21 years ago if you were the man you'd be charged with kidnapping and they would put you in prison and hand the child over to the mentally unfit mother. Then where would you be? You're not as wise as you think you are, Chris.

He did the right thing - he bided his time - he knew what he was up against - he waited until he could get a witness and was able to get custody of his child. 21 yrs ago it was not easy for a man to get custody of the child.

Hey, I'm entitled to my own opinions on subjects!! If it was me, I would have done things differently, I'm sure! K?

And you most likely wouldn't have your child either. He gained custody of his child. He won. He went through hell so to speak - but he saved his child and he was able to raise her. To God be the glory.

To be willing to admit when you are wrong? Is not a sign of weakness, Chris.

Goodnight.

What are you going on about? He says that she had beaten him black and blue before this particular incident. He was one of those people hoping he could change crazy. I know better.

You always seem to think so

Hey, I've never been with anyone who abused me and I wouldn't put up with such treatment.

That's easy to say when you have never walked the path.

 

[pillars]

I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that. Geesh! Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.

And leave your child in a psychopath's custody?

If you were beaten daily leaving black and blue marks, you had plenty of evidence that you were being assaulted. Had you taken that evidence to the authorities, there is no way in hell that your child would have been left in your ex's custody.

You had every opportunity to leave before shit escalated.

 

[TrinityPower]

And leave your child in a psychopath's custody?

Did you not know this person was a psychopath before you impregnated her?

As I said, she only freaked out when we got to Pittsburgh. She was a young girl who had never been out of Lewiston, Idaho where we grew up. That's a town of maybe 24,000 back then. She was from a poor family. The furthest she had ever gone was Spokane, Washington about two hours away. Spokane was her idea of a big city. Now take that girl who had just given birth at 19 years old and drag her 2,000 miles across the country and put her in fucking Pittsburgh and make her a mother and a wife. You want to talk about culture shock? No wonder she flipped out.

What? I was a 16-year-old mother. Give me a fucking break.

And when you were a 16 year old mother did you get taken from your home and put from one culture tootally different culture? There's a bit of a difference in culture between west-coast, small town Lewiston, Idaho and east-coast big city Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Were you taken from all your friends and family? Were you dragged from a town of 24,000 into a city of 2 million with a totally different attitude and no one to help you manage the transition?

I don't blame her for freaking out. I don't blame her at all. I completely understand. But my understanding didn't solve the problem or eliminate the threat.

I can say for sure that I wouldn't want to KILL anyone. Good grief!

I have never had postpartum depression and apparently you didn't either but some people do and it was not as well researched back then as it is now. It would be an interesting study as to how many women have gone into rages of abuse. There have been many headline cases of women killing their children because of it

 

[pillars]

That's easy to say when you have never walked the path.

My ex-husband beat me up. Once.

That's why he's my ex.

 

[BluePhantom]

I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people. I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.

I think that's bullshit.

But I have to agree with GT that something is off about BP's story. I smell a strong smell of bullshit.

Feel free to ask TrinityPower. She knows the entire story and even met the girl I am referring to several years later.

BTW...reactions like that really annoy me. Steve McNair...killed by a psycho girlfriend. Fred lane...killed by a psycho wife. It happens more than you think. Your reaction is a contributing factor to why men are reluctant to admit they have been abused. People either call them pussies or say they don't believe it. If a woman claimed to be abused everyone would go out of their way to display compassion and anger toward her abuser. If a man claims it, he is a liar. Reactions like that are part of the problem

Do I believe men are abused by women? Absolutely. In fact, my post makes that clear.

Your story still stinks of bullshit.

Don't really give a damn if you believe it or not. Trinity confirmed it and she is my wife. She should know. Like I said...you are part of the problem. That's fine. At least we know where we both stand

 

[G.T.]

I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people. I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.

I think that's bullshit.

But I have to agree with GT that something is off about BP's story. I smell a strong smell of bullshit.

Feel free to ask TrinityPower. She knows the entire story and even met the girl I am referring to several years later.

BTW...reactions like that really annoy me. Steve McNair...killed by a psycho girlfriend. Fred lane...killed by a psycho wife. It happens more than you think. Your reaction is a contributing factor to why men are reluctant to admit they have been abused. People either call them pussies or say they don't believe it. If a woman claimed to be abused everyone would go out of their way to display compassion and anger toward her abuser. If a man claims it, he is a liar. Reactions like that are part of the problem

Man, i am sorry if you think im on the side of the woman is right no matter what....

i mean, i apologize it was just hard to believe you couldnt have fought it better legally but - - - - - i cant say from experience so. sorry

 

[BluePhantom]

That's easy to say when you have never walked the path.

My ex-husband beat me up. Once.

That's why he's my ex.

Your situation and mine are probably totally different. It's was easier for a woman to leave in 1993 citing domestic abuse and keep their child than it it today Catz. You can't compare your experience as a woman to my experience as a man 20 years ago and assume you understand the situation

 

[pillars]

Don't really give a damn if you believe it or not. Trinity confirmed it and she is my wife. She should know. Like I said...you are part of the problem. That's fine. At least we know where we both stand

you are two people on the internet. what in the fuck does that even mean to me? Anonymous person confirmed that you're not bullshitting? bully for you.

This is not the first time that you have rehashed this shit. Why do you have this obsessive need to bring this shit up?

koshergrl Ravi

 

[ChrisL]

Did you not know this person was a psychopath before you impregnated her?

As I said, she only freaked out when we got to Pittsburgh. She was a young girl who had never been out of Lewiston, Idaho where we grew up. That's a town of maybe 24,000 back then. She was from a poor family. The furthest she had ever gone was Spokane, Washington about two hours away. Spokane was her idea of a big city. Now take that girl who had just given birth at 19 years old and drag her 2,000 miles across the country and put her in fucking Pittsburgh and make her a mother and a wife. You want to talk about culture shock? No wonder she flipped out.

What? I was a 16-year-old mother. Give me a fucking break.

And when you were a 16 year old mother did you get taken from your home and put from one culture tootally different culture? There's a bit of a difference in culture between west-coast, small town Lewiston, Idaho and east-coast big city Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Were you taken from all your friends and family? Were you dragged from a town of 24,000 into a city of 2 million with a totally different attitude and no one to help you manage the transition?

I don't blame her for freaking out. I don't blame her at all. I completely understand. But my understanding didn't solve the problem or eliminate the threat.

I can say for sure that I wouldn't want to KILL anyone. Good grief!

I have never had postpartum depression and apparently you didn't either but some people do and it was not as well researched back then as it is now. It would be an interesting study as to how many women have gone into rages of abuse. There have been many headline cases of women killing their children because of it

Okay, but he isn't saying it was because of a postpartum depression. He says it is because she was young and they moved away from her home. Anyways, I'm just saying, the way to avoid coming to blows would be to leave before it escalates to that level. I think I would rather take my chances with being arrested than being killed, or my child being killed.

 

[pillars]

Your situation and mine are probably totally different. It's was easier for a woman to leave in 1993 citing domestic abuse and keep their child than it it today Catz. You can't compare your experience as a woman to my experience as a man 20 years ago and assume you understand the situation

Yes, you're a special snowflake. No one else but you has ever been victimized, and your victimization was special and unlike any other victimization that has ever or will ever occur.

/sarcasm.

 

[pillars]

Okay, but he isn't saying it was because of a postpartum depression. He says it is because she was young and they moved away from her home. Anyways, I'm just saying, the way to avoid coming to blows would be to leave before it escalates to that level. I think I would rather take my chances with being arrested than being killed, or my child being killed.

We're hearing his side of the story only. Why do these people need to find people who can reinforce their pathologies?

 

[ChrisL]

Hey, I'm entitled to my own opinions on subjects!! If it was me, I would have done things differently, I'm sure! K?

And you most likely wouldn't have your child either. He gained custody of his child. He won. He went through hell so to speak - but he saved his child and he was able to raise her. To God be the glory.

To be willing to admit when you are wrong? Is not a sign of weakness, Chris.

Goodnight.

What are you going on about? He says that she had beaten him black and blue before this particular incident. He was one of those people hoping he could change crazy. I know better.

You always seem to think so

Hey, I've never been with anyone who abused me and I wouldn't put up with such treatment.

That's easy to say when you have never walked the path.

I think that you had hoped you could change her or something and so you chose to stick around. Not that you were "wrong" or "bad" for that, but you were mistaken for thinking that and for staying after the violence had begun.

On the other hand, if you knew what the cause of her "freaking out" was, why not just move back home? Did the cons of moving back at least closer to her family outweigh the pros?

 

[TrinityPower]

Point being made is that men are victims of domestic abuse as well but there is a stigma for men who come out and say so

 

[BluePhantom]

I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people. I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.

I think that's bullshit.

But I have to agree with GT that something is off about BP's story. I smell a strong smell of bullshit.

Feel free to ask TrinityPower. She knows the entire story and even met the girl I am referring to several years later.

BTW...reactions like that really annoy me. Steve McNair...killed by a psycho girlfriend. Fred lane...killed by a psycho wife. It happens more than you think. Your reaction is a contributing factor to why men are reluctant to admit they have been abused. People either call them pussies or say they don't believe it. If a woman claimed to be abused everyone would go out of their way to display compassion and anger toward her abuser. If a man claims it, he is a liar. Reactions like that are part of the problem

Man, i am sorry if you think im on the side of the woman is right no matter what....

i mean, i apologize it was just hard to believe you couldnt have fought it better legally but - - - - - i cant say from experience so. sorry

What was I supposed to do GT? It was 1993. Cops looked at who had bruises and arrested the other person whether it was self-defense or not. How was I going to prove self-defense? Back then it always went in the woman's favor. I needed a witness who saw it and could testify. What choice did I have? I had two choices. Abandon my child to an unstable woman and save myself or endure it until I had a witness who could testify and gain custody of my daughter. I chose the latter. What else could I have really done?

 

[ChrisL]

Okay, but he isn't saying it was because of a postpartum depression. He says it is because she was young and they moved away from her home. Anyways, I'm just saying, the way to avoid coming to blows would be to leave before it escalates to that level. I think I would rather take my chances with being arrested than being killed, or my child being killed.

We're hearing his side of the story only. Why do these people need to find people who can reinforce their pathologies?

It's the dramatic internet world!!!

 

[ChrisL]

Point being made is that men are victims of domestic abuse as well but there is a stigma for men who come out and say so

I don't think anyone has stated otherwise. Just wondering why he would stay with this person and let it escalate to such a level before making a move?

 

[pillars]

I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that. Geesh! Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.

And leave your child in a psychopath's custody?

Did you not know this person was a psychopath before you impregnated her?

As I said, she only freaked out when we got to Pittsburgh. She was a young girl who had never been out of Lewiston, Idaho where we grew up. That's a town of maybe 24,000 back then. She was from a poor family. The furthest she had ever gone was Spokane, Washington about two hours away. Spokane was her idea of a big city. Now take that girl who had just given birth at 19 years old and drag her 2,000 miles across the country and put her in fucking Pittsburgh and make her a mother and a wife. You want to talk about culture shock? No wonder she flipped out.

Small world, my husband is from Lewiston.