Is Manipulative Parenting necessary?

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by Iridescence, Sep 20, 2011.

  1. Iridescence
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    Iridescence BANNED

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    If You Had Controlling Parents

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]
    Con·trol·ling par·ent (ken-tröl'lîng pâr'ent): Adult or guardian who uses excessively perfectionistic, overbearing, authoritarian, confusing, narcissistic, or manipulative methods of childraising. An estimated 15 million American adults living today grew up with controlling parents. See also, lit.: The Great Santini, Mommie Dearest.



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    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]As a wife, parental manipulation from either or both sides can potentially[/FONT] make marriage even more difficult than it is without. As a mother, though my children are quite young yet, I resent when people interfere with my methods of parenting but I consider their interference as something I potentially can use to learn from to better my future intentions.

    Is there ever a time that manipulative parenting is necessary in the adult years of the offspring's life? Sometimes, I have to admit it seems so... However, are there levels of parental manipulation that is more damaging to the offspring than productive?

    Biblically it is stated that we are to raise our children in the ways they are to go (as we would have them go?) and when they are older they would not depart from it... In some countries youths decide what field of study they wish to go and in and their education is based on that... Perhaps our American ways are more narcissistic than not, and perhaps any struggle we put up against controlling individuals and/or situations we only set ourselves up for a deeper/higher type of manipulation.

    What are the board's thoughts about this? Is manipulative parenting ever necessary? Is it ever logical? What seems most illogical to me, personally, would be blanket statements and laws that make generalized assumptions about the people in which they are suppose to serve. To completely prevent parental manipulation from a young adult's life could likely be more detrimental than not, yet there are some cases where that is not always the case.

    Manipulative parenting ultimately may represent parental insecurities and it may prove the manipulative parent to be distrustful of their children's judgment. Yet, it could also be the evidence of the higher love toward the offspring. At what 'age' or level of maturity do individuals become accountable for themselves and their own actions? Perhaps the age of accountability is all too often considered years of age instead of stages of maturity.

     
  2. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Manipulating means to control by means other than force.

    You use this term as though it ALWAYS mean something bad.

    It doesn't.
     
  3. Iridescence
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    That isn't my intention at all. It has been my experience to not usually be bad but often unwelcome and meddlesome.

    I had often thought, because of limited personal experiences that meddlesome mothers can destroy their son's potential success by not allowing him his own mistakes. The same goes for fathers and daughters. I have seen profoundly effective parenting, however, that has been necessarily manipulative.

    Perhaps it's all in the perception of the receiving individual. :dunno:
     
  4. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    No its really about the KIND of manipulation, and the motive behind it, too.

    One of the ways I manipulated my son to go to bed was to READ to him.

    Was that a bad thing?

    TOXIC parents are often manipulative, of course, but the reason that their manipulating is bad is because they are doing it for selfish reasons.
     
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  5. Iridescence
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    Iridescence BANNED

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    Some toxic conditions breed mutants.... it's up to the receiving individual to weld his/her blessings/curses accordingly. I just don't know... opposing forces within a home, within a marriage seem ideal, considering....
     
  6. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Very few people really escape the consequences of truly toxic parenting.

    Typically people either succum to it and become a shadow of their true selves, or they spend the rest of their life fighting their conditioning, often even when there is nothing there to really fight.

    Show me a seriously neurotic person, and you'll probably be able to understand their neurosis if you could see their parents.

    What's the old joke about different manipulating parental styles?

    What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?

    An Italian mother says "Eat your food or I'll kill you!"

    A Jewish mother says: "Eat your food or I'll kill myself
     
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  7. Iridescence
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    Iridescence BANNED

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    OMGorsh :(
     

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