- Moderator
- #1
ONE boring afternoon, Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who
to invade when his telephone rang.
"Hello Mr Hussein," a heavily accented voice says " This is Paddy down in
County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that I am officially
declaring war on you!!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replies "This indeed is important news! Tell me, how
big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," says Paddy after a moments calculation "there is
myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry and the entire dominoes
team from the pub - That makes 8!"
Saddam sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my
army waiting to move on my word"
"Oh ****" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rings back. "Right Mr Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"What equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asks excitedly.
"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from
the farm"
Once more Saddam sighs disappointed and says "I must tell you Paddy that I
have 16 000 tanks, 2 000 mine layers, 14 000 armoured cars and my army has
increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke"
"I'll be damned!" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Right Mr Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've kitted out old
Ted's cropsprayer with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team
has joined us as well!"
Once more Saddam sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10 000
bombers and 20 000 MIG-109 high-manouverability attack planes and my
military complex is surrounded by laser Guided surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."
"Oh bollocks" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back" And, sure enough, he
calls again the next day.
"Right Mr Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the
war"
"Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that" says Saddam truly disappointed "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
"Well," says Paddy "We've all had a chat and there's no way we can cope with
2 million prisoners. Sorry."
to invade when his telephone rang.
"Hello Mr Hussein," a heavily accented voice says " This is Paddy down in
County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that I am officially
declaring war on you!!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replies "This indeed is important news! Tell me, how
big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," says Paddy after a moments calculation "there is
myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry and the entire dominoes
team from the pub - That makes 8!"
Saddam sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my
army waiting to move on my word"
"Oh ****" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rings back. "Right Mr Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"What equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asks excitedly.
"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from
the farm"
Once more Saddam sighs disappointed and says "I must tell you Paddy that I
have 16 000 tanks, 2 000 mine layers, 14 000 armoured cars and my army has
increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke"
"I'll be damned!" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Right Mr Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've kitted out old
Ted's cropsprayer with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team
has joined us as well!"
Once more Saddam sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10 000
bombers and 20 000 MIG-109 high-manouverability attack planes and my
military complex is surrounded by laser Guided surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."
"Oh bollocks" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back" And, sure enough, he
calls again the next day.
"Right Mr Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the
war"
"Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that" says Saddam truly disappointed "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
"Well," says Paddy "We've all had a chat and there's no way we can cope with
2 million prisoners. Sorry."
