CDZ Intergenerationality

[phoenyx]

I'm the person who made the opening post, lol . There were actually 2 questions, complete with ? at the end of them. Since you have responded to me, I've decided I'll just copy and paste them here:
**1- Do people here agree with the type of broad sexual education that is now being provided in Ontario?
2- How and when should adults and minors interact with each other outside of the teacher/student and parent/child relationship?**

And no, it's definitely not a crime to ask, lol . Another thing, I've thrown my support behind Jill Stein too- I was for Bernie, but Bernie's no longer a candidate and I just can't support Hillary. Trump would be worse, but even at the risk of ushering in the Trumpocalypse, I still can't support Hillary as someone to vote for -.-

Maybe girl scouts, mentoring, church. I can't see adults and children having much in common unless family relations or a community level.

I agree that it should be in a community of some sort. How about an online community, like this one? It already happens ofcourse. If you look earlier in this thread, you'll see there was a heated discussion between me and a ChrisL as to whether it's ok to for adults and minors to speak outside of the public places in this forum (in PMs, for instance). I strongly believe that it should be fine, at least if the minor initiates it, she strongly disagreed. As to taking it -beyond- the online realm, that's a completely different ballgame. I think things are fairly simple so long as things are kept online.

Do you think a 50 yr old has much in common with say an 8 yr old to talk in private online?

8, no, but if you raised that up to, say, 14, and the man and the teen both liked, say, anime, then yes, I think that could form the beginning of a private conversation.

What if the 8yr old liked anime or pokeman or neopets or sims and the man was 50 and liked those things too should he message privately? Why not just talk about it in public why "private" is there some reason those topics would need to be private?

If the kid was 8, I think there might just not be enough commonality in terms of likes for there to be a conversation that could be sustained. As far as I know, I have never conversed with someone so young in an online forum- they generally just aren't interested in them. Even younger teens generally aren't.

Going back to the issue of privacy, sometimes, people of all ages don't want to be scrutinized publicly. I remember when I first got online at the age of 17, I avoided the public places entirely, instead striking up conversations privately with people of all ages.

 

[phoenyx]

The only issue with it for me is that when some men message "privately" under a guise of mutual interest .....some men have tried to put out feelers for a discussion about dating or relationships or sex, and I feel like the pretense of mutual interest in a hobby is disingenuous.

I hear you. I think the whole thing is fairly rare. To give you an idea- I've been on online forums for years. In all those years, I've seen perhaps a handful of minors (I can only think of 2 right now). Of those, I've only conversed with one of them privately, and in that case, I didn't initiate the private conversation, they did. I should perhaps specify that this is online forums, as in internet based. Back when I was a teen myself, I spent a lot of time on bulletin boards, and there seemed to be a lot more teens in those.

If I was 14 or 8, I might feel awkward and uncomfortable but not know how to set a comfortable boundary.

That's my personal opinion and take on it. We share a mutual hobby or interest let's just talk public about it.

That's certainly fine. I think many minors might feel the same way, but clearly not all.

 

[Michelle420]

Maybe girl scouts, mentoring, church. I can't see adults and children having much in common unless family relations or a community level.

I agree that it should be in a community of some sort. How about an online community, like this one? It already happens ofcourse. If you look earlier in this thread, you'll see there was a heated discussion between me and a ChrisL as to whether it's ok to for adults and minors to speak outside of the public places in this forum (in PMs, for instance). I strongly believe that it should be fine, at least if the minor initiates it, she strongly disagreed. As to taking it -beyond- the online realm, that's a completely different ballgame. I think things are fairly simple so long as things are kept online.

Do you think a 50 yr old has much in common with say an 8 yr old to talk in private online?

8, no, but if you raised that up to, say, 14, and the man and the teen both liked, say, anime, then yes, I think that could form the beginning of a private conversation.

What if the 8yr old liked anime or pokeman or neopets or sims and the man was 50 and liked those things too should he message privately? Why not just talk about it in public why "private" is there some reason those topics would need to be private?

If the kid was 8, I think there might just not be enough commonality in terms of likes for there to be a conversation that could be sustained. As far as I know, I have never conversed with someone so young in an online forum- they generally just aren't interested in them. Even younger teens generally aren't.

Going back to the issue of privacy, sometimes, people of all ages don't want to be scrutinized publicly. I remember when I first got online at the age of 17, I avoided the public places entirely, instead striking up conversations privately with people of all ages.

When talking to a minor online, anything that could be said in private could be said just as easily in public. There should be no scrutiny worries about anime discussion with a minor

As far as offline communications a parent would be aware of such contact and communications as in mentoring or a mutual club and if the parent is ok with it so be it.

But as far as online goes there is NO WAY to know who you are talking to 100% or what their mental state or age is no matter what they say. That is true for an adult or minor.

However if someone is literally telling you they are 14 and want to talk private, I'd be weary and careful.

 

[Michelle420]

The only issue with it for me is that when some men message "privately" under a guise of mutual interest .....some men have tried to put out feelers for a discussion about dating or relationships or sex, and I feel like the pretense of mutual interest in a hobby is disingenuous.

I hear you. I think the whole thing is fairly rare. To give you an idea- I've been on online forums for years. In all those years, I've seen perhaps a handful of minors (I can only think of 2 right now). Of those, I've only conversed with one of them privately, and in that case, I didn't initiate the private conversation, they did. I should perhaps specify that this is online forums, as in internet based. Back when I was a teen myself, I spent a lot of time on bulletin boards, and there seemed to be a lot more teens in those.

If I was 14 or 8, I might feel awkward and uncomfortable but not know how to set a comfortable boundary.

That's my personal opinion and take on it. We share a mutual hobby or interest let's just talk public about it.

That's certainly fine. I think many minors might feel the same way, but clearly not all.

Doesn't matter since there are laws about minors to protect them online. I have nothing in common with minors so for me it's not an issue.

 

[phoenyx]

I agree that it should be in a community of some sort. How about an online community, like this one? It already happens ofcourse. If you look earlier in this thread, you'll see there was a heated discussion between me and a ChrisL as to whether it's ok to for adults and minors to speak outside of the public places in this forum (in PMs, for instance). I strongly believe that it should be fine, at least if the minor initiates it, she strongly disagreed. As to taking it -beyond- the online realm, that's a completely different ballgame. I think things are fairly simple so long as things are kept online.

Do you think a 50 yr old has much in common with say an 8 yr old to talk in private online?

8, no, but if you raised that up to, say, 14, and the man and the teen both liked, say, anime, then yes, I think that could form the beginning of a private conversation.

What if the 8yr old liked anime or pokeman or neopets or sims and the man was 50 and liked those things too should he message privately? Why not just talk about it in public why "private" is there some reason those topics would need to be private?

If the kid was 8, I think there might just not be enough commonality in terms of likes for there to be a conversation that could be sustained. As far as I know, I have never conversed with someone so young in an online forum- they generally just aren't interested in them. Even younger teens generally aren't.

Going back to the issue of privacy, sometimes, people of all ages don't want to be scrutinized publicly. I remember when I first got online at the age of 17, I avoided the public places entirely, instead striking up conversations privately with people of all ages.

When talking to a minor online, anything that could be said in private could be said just as easily in public.

Yep. I hope you didn't miss the part on where I said that when -I- was a teen, I wanted to avoid the public spaces entirely online, and found people of various ages to converse with privately.

There should be no scrutiny worries about anime discussion with a minor

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. I will once again point out my own feelings of not wanting to engage in public discussions when I was a minor. Another point that I think backs me up- I haven't spoken to this minor, about anything, after ChrisL had the heated discussion here with me concerning her. I felt it might happen, and even mentioned this to her in this thread somewhere. She clearly wanted any private discussion we had to end, so in that she got her wish. I avoided all of this public scrutiny when I was young myself by simply bypassing the public arena entirely when I started my online forays.

As far as offline communications a parent would be aware of such contact and communications as in mentoring or a mutual club and if the parent is ok with it so be it.

You're free to hold this view if you want. I certainly didn't think so as a minor.

But as far as online goes there is NO WAY to know who you are talking to 100% or what their mental state or age is no matter what they say. That is true for an adult or minor.

Exactly. In many online games, people just don't mention their ages, and they can then talk as freely as they like. I know, I've done it myself, starting at a relatively young age, though I think I was no longer a minor when I started (the internet was just getting started when I was 17, I'm 40 now).

However if some is literally telling you they are 14 and want to talk private, I'd be weary and careful.

Many people let people see their age on their profiles, so they technically don't need to 'tell' you, it's just there for the seeing. But I agree that in today's day and age, an adult speaking to a minor is politically dangerous. I've always been someone who tends to simply follow my heart. I know that when I was a minor, I liked talking to people of various ages online, and I wouldn't want to deny that opportunity to minors today. In general, though, as I mentioned, it tends to happen in places where the age of the online participants is unknown, mostly in gaming environments.

 

[phoenyx]

The only issue with it for me is that when some men message "privately" under a guise of mutual interest .....some men have tried to put out feelers for a discussion about dating or relationships or sex, and I feel like the pretense of mutual interest in a hobby is disingenuous.

I hear you. I think the whole thing is fairly rare. To give you an idea- I've been on online forums for years. In all those years, I've seen perhaps a handful of minors (I can only think of 2 right now). Of those, I've only conversed with one of them privately, and in that case, I didn't initiate the private conversation, they did. I should perhaps specify that this is online forums, as in internet based. Back when I was a teen myself, I spent a lot of time on bulletin boards, and there seemed to be a lot more teens in those.

If I was 14 or 8, I might feel awkward and uncomfortable but not know how to set a comfortable boundary.

That's my personal opinion and take on it. We share a mutual hobby or interest let's just talk public about it.

That's certainly fine. I think many minors might feel the same way, but clearly not all.

Doesn't matter since there are laws about minors to protect them online. I have nothing in common with minors so for me it's not an issue.

Sure, there are laws to protect minors online. There are even laws to protect minors from each other. Not all of these laws actually help minors though. Here's an excerpt from the wikipedia page on Judith Levine's book "Harmful to Minors":
**Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children From Sex (ISBN 0-8166-4006-8 [hardcover], ISBN 1-56025-516-1 [paperback]) is a 2002 book byJudith Levine. The foreword was written by former United States Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who resigned after suggesting that masturbation be destigmatized as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity.[1]

The "Author's Note" states: "Most of the research for this book, including interviews, was conducted between 1996 and early 2000, and pertinent statistics were updated in 2001. The names of all nonprofessionals have been fictionalized, along with some identifying characteristics."

In the book, Levine lambastes United States laws concerning child pornography, statutory rape, and abortion for minors using a variety of studies and interviews with teenagers and adults alike (see Acknowledgments). Levine also analyzes abstinence-only sex education, which Levine considers counter-productive and dangerous.

The book also examines the terms "harmful to minors" and "indecency," which Levine considers to be umbrella terms for censorship, as well as the Dylan v. Heather case, and the little-known SPARK-Support Program for Abusive Reactive Kids and STEP-Sexual Treatment Education Program and Services, both of which she claims do far more harm than the child sex offenders did themselves.

Because of its controversial nature and content, it was nearly impossible for Levine to find a publisher—one prospective publisher even called it "radioactive." University of Minnesota Press eventually agreed to publish the book, despite cries of outrage from the right wing of Minnesota's political establishment.

The book won the 2002 Los Angeles Times Book Award for Current Interest.[2]**

Source: Harmful to Minors - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Michelle420]

Hey you have nothing to worry about as long as your conversation is strictly platonic and innocent.

The minute you step outside of that you should be prosecuted.

 

[Muhammed]

No. There is no reason why an adult man should be interacting with young teen girls or boys, unless it is a parent, teacher or other family member.

But it's ok if it's an adult woman doing the interacting -.-?

Yes. 99.9% of pedophiles and people who go after teenagers are MEN.

A guy who is sexually attracted to girls who are teenagers is not a "pedophile".

There is actually a very good reason for an adult man to interact with a hot teenager. And that is to fuck her brains out. I've done it thousands of times.

 

[phoenyx]

Hey you have nothing to worry about as long as your conversation is strictly platonic and innocent.

If only that were the case. The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, private conversations between adults and minors online, atleast when the adult is aware that the minor is a minor, can become very politically difficult. Well, atleast there's still the gaming world, where many don't talk about their ages.

 

[phoenyx]

No. There is no reason why an adult man should be interacting with young teen girls or boys, unless it is a parent, teacher or other family member.

But it's ok if it's an adult woman doing the interacting -.-?

Yes. 99.9% of pedophiles and people who go after teenagers are MEN.

A guy who is sexually attracted to girls who are teenagers is not a "pedophile".

There is actually a very good reason for an adult man to interact with a hot teenager. And that is to fuck her brains out. I've done it thousands of times.

You mean the 18+ kind, right?

 

[Michelle420]

Hey you have nothing to worry about as long as your conversation is strictly platonic and innocent.

If only that were the case. The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, private conversations between adults and minors online, atleast when the adult is aware that the minor is a minor, can become very politically difficult. Well, atleast there's still the gaming world, where many don't talk about their ages.

Meh I just don't think it's as big of deal as you are making it. Also again if you are not saying anything on a sexual nature you should be fine.

I personally just have no interests the same as a 14 yr old so I guess that's more your issue and not a wide spread issue for most adults.

Still, if your not doing anything illegal and you want a private conversation then how would anyone know?

 

[phoenyx]

Hey you have nothing to worry about as long as your conversation is strictly platonic and innocent.

If only that were the case. The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, private conversations between adults and minors online, atleast when the adult is aware that the minor is a minor, can become very politically difficult. Well, atleast there's still the gaming world, where many don't talk about their ages.

Meh I just don't think it's as big of deal as you are making it. Also again if you are not saying anything on a sexual nature you should be fine.

I personally just have no interests the same as a 14 yr old so I guess that's more your issue and not a wide spread issue for most adults.

Still, if your not doing anything illegal and you want a private conversation then how would anyone know?

ChrisL suspected, and kept on pestering about it, until finally I caved and said that yes, I had indeed had a private conversation with said teen, but that I wasn't the one to initiate it -.-

 

[Michelle420]

Hey you have nothing to worry about as long as your conversation is strictly platonic and innocent.

If only that were the case. The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, private conversations between adults and minors online, atleast when the adult is aware that the minor is a minor, can become very politically difficult. Well, atleast there's still the gaming world, where many don't talk about their ages.

Meh I just don't think it's as big of deal as you are making it. Also again if you are not saying anything on a sexual nature you should be fine.

I personally just have no interests the same as a 14 yr old so I guess that's more your issue and not a wide spread issue for most adults.

Still, if your not doing anything illegal and you want a private conversation then how would anyone know?

ChrisL suspected, and kept on pestering about it, until finally I caved and said that yes, I had indeed had a private conversation with said teen, but that I wasn't the one to initiate it -.-

But you made this thread to talk about it right?

 

[phoenyx]

Hey you have nothing to worry about as long as your conversation is strictly platonic and innocent.

If only that were the case. The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, private conversations between adults and minors online, atleast when the adult is aware that the minor is a minor, can become very politically difficult. Well, atleast there's still the gaming world, where many don't talk about their ages.

Meh I just don't think it's as big of deal as you are making it. Also again if you are not saying anything on a sexual nature you should be fine.

I personally just have no interests the same as a 14 yr old so I guess that's more your issue and not a wide spread issue for most adults.

Still, if your not doing anything illegal and you want a private conversation then how would anyone know?

ChrisL suspected, and kept on pestering about it, until finally I caved and said that yes, I had indeed had a private conversation with said teen, but that I wasn't the one to initiate it -.-

But you made this thread to talk about it right?

She had already suspected before I made the thread here.

 

[Michelle420]

Hey you have nothing to worry about as long as your conversation is strictly platonic and innocent.

If only that were the case. The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, private conversations between adults and minors online, atleast when the adult is aware that the minor is a minor, can become very politically difficult. Well, atleast there's still the gaming world, where many don't talk about their ages.

Meh I just don't think it's as big of deal as you are making it. Also again if you are not saying anything on a sexual nature you should be fine.

I personally just have no interests the same as a 14 yr old so I guess that's more your issue and not a wide spread issue for most adults.

Still, if your not doing anything illegal and you want a private conversation then how would anyone know?

ChrisL suspected, and kept on pestering about it, until finally I caved and said that yes, I had indeed had a private conversation with said teen, but that I wasn't the one to initiate it -.-

But you made this thread to talk about it right?

She had already suspected before I made the thread here.

Doesn't matter. You basically made a thread asking about sex education, gaming and leaving kids alone in a park. The you discussed about talking privately online with a minor.

You said under the guise of shared common interests. I said well if it's an innocent conversations and platonic you have nothing to worry about and you don't.

If its got an ulterior sexual motive then you better worry because it's against the law.

If you want to talk to someone and it's innocent and private nobody but you and that person will know.

I don't really relate to wanting to talk to a 14 yr old so all I can say is if your doing nothing wrong then there's no problem.

 

[phoenyx]

If only that were the case. The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, private conversations between adults and minors online, atleast when the adult is aware that the minor is a minor, can become very politically difficult. Well, atleast there's still the gaming world, where many don't talk about their ages.

Meh I just don't think it's as big of deal as you are making it. Also again if you are not saying anything on a sexual nature you should be fine.

I personally just have no interests the same as a 14 yr old so I guess that's more your issue and not a wide spread issue for most adults.

Still, if your not doing anything illegal and you want a private conversation then how would anyone know?

ChrisL suspected, and kept on pestering about it, until finally I caved and said that yes, I had indeed had a private conversation with said teen, but that I wasn't the one to initiate it -.-

But you made this thread to talk about it right?

She had already suspected before I made the thread here.

Doesn't matter.

I strongly disagree.

You basically made a thread asking about sex education, gaming and leaving kids alone in a park. Then you discussed about talking privately online with a minor.

ChrisL is the one who brought up that discussion. It certainly wasn't in the OP.

You said under the guise of shared common interests. I said well if it's an innocent conversations and platonic you have nothing to worry about and you don't.

And I said you're mistaken. These things tend to fix themselves though.

If you want to talk to someone and it's innocent and private nobody but you and that person will know.

Unless someone pesters you about the possibility that you talked privately until you reveal it just to get them off your back about it -.-

I don't really relate to wanting to talk to a 14 yr old

You probably don't like anime...

 

[Michelle420]

Meh I just don't think it's as big of deal as you are making it. Also again if you are not saying anything on a sexual nature you should be fine.

I personally just have no interests the same as a 14 yr old so I guess that's more your issue and not a wide spread issue for most adults.

Still, if your not doing anything illegal and you want a private conversation then how would anyone know?

ChrisL suspected, and kept on pestering about it, until finally I caved and said that yes, I had indeed had a private conversation with said teen, but that I wasn't the one to initiate it -.-

But you made this thread to talk about it right?

She had already suspected before I made the thread here.

Doesn't matter.

I strongly disagree.

You basically made a thread asking about sex education, gaming and leaving kids alone in a park. Then you discussed about talking privately online with a minor.

ChrisL is the one who brought up that discussion. It certainly wasn't in the OP.

You said under the guise of shared common interests. I said well if it's an innocent conversations and platonic you have nothing to worry about and you don't.

And I said you're mistaken. These things tend to fix themselves though.

If you want to talk to someone and it's innocent and private nobody but you and that person will know.

Unless someone pesters you about the possibility that you talked privately until you reveal it just to get them off your back about it -.-

I don't really relate to wanting to talk to a 14 yr old

You probably don't like anime...

I don't like anime, I have nothing in common with 14yr olds in fact they get on my nerves

Do whatever you want just don't break the law and don't talk sexually with a minor.

All the other baggage is yours.

 

[phoenyx]

ChrisL suspected, and kept on pestering about it, until finally I caved and said that yes, I had indeed had a private conversation with said teen, but that I wasn't the one to initiate it -.-

But you made this thread to talk about it right?

She had already suspected before I made the thread here.

Doesn't matter.

I strongly disagree.

You basically made a thread asking about sex education, gaming and leaving kids alone in a park. Then you discussed about talking privately online with a minor.

ChrisL is the one who brought up that discussion. It certainly wasn't in the OP.

You said under the guise of shared common interests. I said well if it's an innocent conversations and platonic you have nothing to worry about and you don't.

And I said you're mistaken. These things tend to fix themselves though.

If you want to talk to someone and it's innocent and private nobody but you and that person will know.

Unless someone pesters you about the possibility that you talked privately until you reveal it just to get them off your back about it -.-

I don't really relate to wanting to talk to a 14 yr old

You probably don't like anime...

I don't like anime,

Just as I suspected .

I have nothing in common with 14yr olds in fact they get on my nerves

Laugh . Anyone can get on my nerves, they don't have to be 14 .

Do whatever you want just don't break the law

Thanks.

 

[Michelle420]

But you made this thread to talk about it right?

She had already suspected before I made the thread here.

Doesn't matter.

I strongly disagree.

You basically made a thread asking about sex education, gaming and leaving kids alone in a park. Then you discussed about talking privately online with a minor.

ChrisL is the one who brought up that discussion. It certainly wasn't in the OP.

You said under the guise of shared common interests. I said well if it's an innocent conversations and platonic you have nothing to worry about and you don't.

And I said you're mistaken. These things tend to fix themselves though.

If you want to talk to someone and it's innocent and private nobody but you and that person will know.

Unless someone pesters you about the possibility that you talked privately until you reveal it just to get them off your back about it -.-

I don't really relate to wanting to talk to a 14 yr old

You probably don't like anime...

I don't like anime,

Just as I suspected .

I have nothing in common with 14yr olds in fact they get on my nerves

Laugh . Anyone can get on my nerves, they don't have to be 14 .

Do whatever you want just don't break the law

Thanks.

Anyone can get on my nerves too. But I especially don't like young teens.

 

[phoenyx]

She had already suspected before I made the thread here.

Doesn't matter.

I strongly disagree.

You basically made a thread asking about sex education, gaming and leaving kids alone in a park. Then you discussed about talking privately online with a minor.

ChrisL is the one who brought up that discussion. It certainly wasn't in the OP.

You said under the guise of shared common interests. I said well if it's an innocent conversations and platonic you have nothing to worry about and you don't.

And I said you're mistaken. These things tend to fix themselves though.

If you want to talk to someone and it's innocent and private nobody but you and that person will know.

Unless someone pesters you about the possibility that you talked privately until you reveal it just to get them off your back about it -.-

I don't really relate to wanting to talk to a 14 yr old

You probably don't like anime...

I don't like anime,

Just as I suspected .

I have nothing in common with 14yr olds in fact they get on my nerves

Laugh . Anyone can get on my nerves, they don't have to be 14 .

Do whatever you want just don't break the law

Thanks.

Anyone can get on my nerves too. But I especially don't like young teens.

I see, laugh . I can't say the same. That doesn't mean I converse with them often though. In today's day and age, about the only ones who do are their parents and teachers of one stripe or another. I was briefly a teacher in Mexico, but it was short lived. The pay's not exactly great there. I came back to Canada and work at a charity now.