Insect Jokes: Doctor Abbey

[Abishai100]

I was thinking the other day that since insects are creepy (and often annoying), spreading insect-themed jokes may draw more attention to eco-pollution related political issues than the standard "Protect these gazelles" and "Love the blue ocean" slogans.

So these insect jokes are for you, Edward Abbey!

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1. Why do the Chinese like grasshoppers? Because they remind them of Bruce Lee.
2. Why are spiders frightening to children? Because kids think they can play with cobwebs.
3. Why are bees so annoying? Because we only want their honey.
4. Why did insects not evolve to larger sizes? Because they wanted to avoid NYC.
5. Why is a moth considered symbolic? Because they are very light!
6. Why would a fly hate a dog? Because dogs bark at everything.
7. Why does God ignore insects? Because humans are abusive.
8. Why did Jeff Goldblum turn into a fly? Because he was very handsome.

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[MisterBeale]

Did you hear the rumors about Baron Trump?

 

[Abishai100]

THE FACEBOOK DOLLS (by Abishai Gangulee)


-Well, I don't want to give the impression that I'm an eco-fanatic, so here's a short-story I wrote about the accessibility of democracy-dialogue catalyzed by the globally-popular social networking website Facebook, a story meant to convey the simple notion that marketing alternative ideas about populism can affect politicians (like Donald Trump!).


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Ted liked to paint little Civil War soldier-dolls and make dioramas of Gettysburg in his Virginia home. A graduate of Yale University with a major in History, Ted was fascinated by populism perspectives on key events in American history (since America represented all kinds of immigration and confluence intrigue). German-American by ancestry, Ted wanted to post pictures of his painted Civil War soldier-dolls (with messages about the value of democracy in the classroom) on Facebook to dissuade people from embracing Neo-Nazi philosophies.


One day, a Neo-Nazi named Alastair found Ted’s posted pictures on Facebook and became enraged. Alastair did not see the relevance of Ted’s Civil War dolls or why they would dissuade people from Nazism philosophy. Alastair decided to paint some Ku Klux Klan dolls (which he sculpted himself with clay and with great skill) and post pictures of the dolls on Facebook with messages about the need for freedom of speech in a nation (America) troubled by confluence problems (i.e., illegal immigration).


Ted and Alastair quickly became two symbolic figures on Facebook. People would say things like, “Ted is Captain America, and Alastair is Red Skull!” This went on for some time and then the American talk-show host Maury Povich decided to invite Ted and Alastair to debate on his show about the intellectual value of their respective race-valuated painted dolls. Ted and Alastair both accepted the invitation and on the Halloween show of Maury Povich, the two engaged in a rather interesting debate about the parameters of democracy in America (and on Facebook!).


MAURY: Just go ahead and ask each other about your dolls!
TED: Why do you feel the need to use Facebook to market Neo-Nazism?
ALASTAIR: Why do you feel the need to use Facebook to link the Civil War to education?
TED: Facebook is an accessible resource, and people can see why the dolls represent democracy.
ALASTAIR: Many African-Americans are not advocates of the Confederate Army.
TED: The Civil War was history, and it abolished slavery. I’m merely showcasing Gettysburg soldiers.
ALASTAIR: Facebook-surfers may get the impression that you value the Confederacy.
TED: Well, we all know the Union won, and I showcase both Confederate and Union soldier-dolls.
ALASTAIR: If you have the democratic right to showcase a random face of American history, so do I!
TED: Neo-Nazis are not part of the history of democracy in America!
ALASTAIR: The Constitution defends freedom of speech.
TED: You yourself are offended by anti-Nazi hate-speech uttered by Holocaust Jews.
ALASTAIR: Perhaps Mark Zuckerberg is the new William Randolph Hearst.

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[Big Black Dog]

I think I just read the worst jokes I have ever heard.

 

[MisterBeale]

They are just fine.