If two gay men are allowed to marry, why not two straight women?

[Si modo]

funny, but up to one-third of marriages between citizens and non-citizens are sham marriages.

I'm pretty sure that's a lie, but let's see if you have a link that doesn't come from Stormfront... otherwise, I think I'll call BS.

prove me wrong, bitchtits. I pretty well covered my ass there.



I don't think that's "clear" at all...

Then educate yourself. Sham marriages are not uncommon. A simple google search will help you immensely.


That's silliness... and the use of the word "guise" belies your bias.

Marriage is an individual right, not a couple's right. The law applies equally- to heteros, homos (like you), and would-be polygamists.

But thanks for not really participating. You probably are unable to craft any sort of response not directed by HuffPo anyways.

Was there something to participate in? I just called it as I saw it. I'm figuring that when someone like you makes baseless and intentionally absurd statements, calling you on it is appropriate.

None of which you can find, but dont bother, fishmonger.

And for the record, I don't often read Huffpo, and I'm figuring that unlike you, I'm capable of substantiating my comments......

which you have utterly failed to do any more than anyone else.

try it sometimes... because near as I can tell, you're another loudmouth screaming from the rafters

You make Rosie ODickchick seem palatable.

YOU made the assertion about sham marriages, YOU back it up. Until you do, your claim stands as bullshit. That's just the way it is, that annoying logic.

 

[DiveCon]

I'm pretty sure that's a lie, but let's see if you have a link that doesn't come from Stormfront... otherwise, I think I'll call BS.

prove me wrong, bitchtits. I pretty well covered my ass there.



I don't think that's "clear" at all...

Then educate yourself. Sham marriages are not uncommon. A simple google search will help you immensely.


That's silliness... and the use of the word "guise" belies your bias.

Marriage is an individual right, not a couple's right. The law applies equally- to heteros, homos (like you), and would-be polygamists.



Was there something to participate in? I just called it as I saw it. I'm figuring that when someone like you makes baseless and intentionally absurd statements, calling you on it is appropriate.

None of which you can find, but dont bother, fishmonger.

And for the record, I don't often read Huffpo, and I'm figuring that unlike you, I'm capable of substantiating my comments......

which you have utterly failed to do any more than anyone else.

try it sometimes... because near as I can tell, you're another loudmouth screaming from the rafters

You make Rosie ODickchick seem palatable.

YOU made the assertion about sham marriages, YOU back it up. Until you do, your claim stands as bullshit. That's just the way it is, that annoying logic.

he likely pulled it from the same place most people online pull statistics, their ass

 

[Si modo]

You make Rosie ODickchick seem palatable.

YOU made the assertion about sham marriages, YOU back it up. Until you do, your claim stands as bullshit. That's just the way it is, that annoying logic.

he likely pulled it from the same place most people online pull statistics, their ass

C'mon, Dive; you KNOW you just want to tell me to google how many folks pull stats from their ass, too.

 

[Si modo]

nope, and i'm pretty sure you don't have to perform a sex act in front of the clerk here in mass to get married if you happen to be two people of the same sex, either.

the better question is why not allow polygamy as well
as long as all parties are consenting adults

I prefer polygyny...

and but for the fact that most polygamous relationships appear to be exploitative of women, I'd probably agree that where consenting adults are concerned, maybe others shouldn't interfere.

I can see exploiting several men at the same time. Of course, interviews would be required.

edit: Oh shit! That could be read in a way I don't want it read. I meant for yard work, oil changes, taking garbage out, etc.

 

[jillian]

the better question is why not allow polygamy as well
as long as all parties are consenting adults

I prefer polygyny...

and but for the fact that most polygamous relationships appear to be exploitative of women, I'd probably agree that where consenting adults are concerned, maybe others shouldn't interfere.

I can see exploiting several men at the same time. Of course, interviews would be required.

edit: Oh shit! That could be read in a way I don't want it read. I meant for yard work, oil changes, taking garbage out, etc.

sure ya did, Si... sure ya did.

 

[jillian]

You make Rosie ODickchick seem palatable.

you're really, really ugly, aren't you?

poor angry little freak...

now go prove your assertions... or STFU.

 

[Si modo]

I prefer polygyny...

and but for the fact that most polygamous relationships appear to be exploitative of women, I'd probably agree that where consenting adults are concerned, maybe others shouldn't interfere.

I can see exploiting several men at the same time. Of course, interviews would be required.

edit: Oh shit! That could be read in a way I don't want it read. I meant for yard work, oil changes, taking garbage out, etc.

sure ya did, Si... sure ya did.

LMAO!

 

[rdean]

The problem with conservatives is they don't actually know where gays come from. They really don't.

Many conservatives believe that gays come from San Francisco, rather than "go" there.

And the fact they many gays want to get married? What's that all about. Many straight men only get married because it's the only chance they have of getting laid. So they just assume that with another dude, it's just sex all the time.

What's especially funny, many of those women who marry those guys who only get married for sex, actually, secretly dream about gay guys. They wonder, hmmm, except for the liking guys, "Why can't my man be more like that? Smell good, look good, and say more than, "Hey, bring me a beer" while scratching and readjusting his balls?"

 

[Si modo]

The problem with conservatives is they don't actually know where gays come from. They really don't.

Many conservatives believe that gays come from San Francisco, rather than "go" there.

And the fact they many gays want to get married? What's that all about. Many straight men only get married because it's the only chance they have of getting laid. So they just assume that with another dude, it's just sex all the time.

What's especially funny, many of those women who marry those guys who only get married for sex, actually, secretly dream about gay guys. They wonder, hmmm, except for the liking guys, "Why can't my man be more like that? Smell good, look good, and say more than, "Hey, bring me a beer" while scratching and readjusting his balls?"

Tell this conservative where "gays come from", rdean.

 

[del]

YOU made the assertion about sham marriages, YOU back it up. Until you do, your claim stands as bullshit. That's just the way it is, that annoying logic.

he likely pulled it from the same place most people online pull statistics, their ass

C'mon, Dive; you KNOW you just want to tell me to google how many folks pull stats from their ass, too.

% of people that pull stats out of their ass - Google Search

no need to thank me.

virtue is its own reward.

 

[DiveCon]

The problem with conservatives is they don't actually know where gays come from. They really don't.

Many conservatives believe that gays come from San Francisco, rather than "go" there.

And the fact they many gays want to get married? What's that all about. Many straight men only get married because it's the only chance they have of getting laid. So they just assume that with another dude, it's just sex all the time.

What's especially funny, many of those women who marry those guys who only get married for sex, actually, secretly dream about gay guys. They wonder, hmmm, except for the liking guys, "Why can't my man be more like that? Smell good, look good, and say more than, "Hey, bring me a beer" while scratching and readjusting his balls?"

Tell this conservative where "gays come from", rdean.

just smile and nod, rdean is one of those "special" people

 

[Si modo]

he likely pulled it from the same place most people online pull statistics, their ass

C'mon, Dive; you KNOW you just want to tell me to google how many folks pull stats from their ass, too.

% of people that pull stats out of their ass - Google Search

no need to thank me.

virtue is its own reward.

LMAO! This is third on the search list: How to Write Like a Wanker

....

1. Structure.
Just as every house needs a foundation, every brilliantly immature net text is built on a strong structure of ignorance, sloth, and mindless misguided belligerence. You cannot afford to ignore this section.

Don't capitalize.
Hey, if it made e.e. cummings look like a visionary, surely it'll do the same for you, right? Wrong. It makes you look like a lazy fuckwit. ....

Don't punctuate.
Sorry, that should be "Dont punctuate". Skipping out on important punctuation---apostrophes especially---is an effective way of letting the reader know that you can't be arsed to write properly. This gives you an opportunity to annoy your reader with poorly emphasized, amorphous run-on sentences. If you want to write like a wanker, you must take every chance to annoy your reader.

Apostrophes are fairly easy to deal with---just skip them entirely--- but hyphens are problematic. You might use spaces instead ("African-American" becomes "African American"), but this runs the risk of correctness (many people would accept "African American" as proper usage). Unfortunately, you run the same risk by simply omitting the hyphen ("e-mail" becomes "email"). Unless you're trying to come across as a pretentious wanker (see "Don't capitalize", above), you're probably better off avoiding hyphenated words, and going with whatever looks least intelligent ("africanamerican", "e mail") when it's unavoidable.

Mispunctuate.
Fucking up your punctuation is a conservative but effective way of exposing yourself as a retard in front of the Internet.

1. Pluralize with Apostrophes.
"Pluralize with Apostrophe's." This one small tactic is guaranteed to annoy anyone with even a passing knowledge of proper grammar. With a single keystroke, you demonstrate that you're completely incapable of handling the simplest rule of the English language, and reduce your more capable comrades to fits of mute frustration at your wilful idiocy.

2. Overuse Mutated Ellipses.
Never use a comma, a dash, a (semi)colon, or a period. If you absolutely must punctuate---to end what would otherwise pass for a sentence, for instance---toss in either two, or four (or more) dots as an "ellipsis". This will come across as lazy, gutless, and flippant all at once: pure wanker.

3. Overuse Exclamation and Question Marks.
Nothing shows your reader how serious you are better than five or six exclamation marks at the end of a sentence. ....

4. Star Out Offensive Language.
Because calling her a '****' would be rude, but calling her a 'c*nt' is perfectly acceptable.

Write Like You're on IRC.
A real wanker considers his time infinitely more valuable than his reader's. (You are a real wanker, aren't you?) Accordingly, don't hesitate to conserve keystrokes. Address your reader as 'u'; 'you' is time-consuming and obsolete. Never 'see' something if you can 'c' it instead. Refer to groups as 'ppl' rather than 'people'. Don't put a task off until 'later', do it 'l8r'. Tell your critics to 'stfu' instead of asking them to 'shut the fuck up'. If your reader has the time to actually read the drivel you post, they surely have the time to decode your dribbling shorthand.

Don't forget the cute misspellings. You're a wanker, but you wank to 'pr0n', not 'pornography'. Aspire to be 'kewl', but don't try to be 'cool' except on hot summer days. Don't neglect leetspeak, either: use the '0r' form of verbs as often as possible ('hax0r', 'ownz0r', 'wanx0r'). Replace 'o' with '0', 'e' with '3', 't' with '7', and so on. And while we're at it, be sure to write in an exaggerated ghetto/ ebonic style if you're obviously not black. Nothing says "wanker!" louder than James Francis Spalding III sending out 'greetz and propz to all [his] hos and homies in da hood'.

Use an Inappropriate Format.
Never send a plain-text email or make a plain-text Usenet post; send HTML instead, preferably with browser-specific extensions. ....

Ignore Proper Spelling and Usage.
The English language is full of homonyms, for example 'they're', 'there', and 'their': confuse them at every opportunity. "i hate my parents there car sux0rz.." (Note also the run-on sentence, leet-speak -0r verb form, uncapitalized 'i' and stunted, unwanted ellipsis.) While you're at it, don't forget to make glaring, obvious spelling errors: 'reasonabel', 'buisness', and 'mesage', for instance. (Bonus wanker points if you play the ESL card to explain your inability to operate a simple dictionary, though this applies more to gratuitous misspellings than---a wanker would use 'then'---misuse of homonyms.)

2. Style.
As one of my friends is fond of pointing out, a gratuitously bad command of the English language doesn't necessarily indicate a fundamentally dumb text. (If nothing else, a kitten walking across a keyboard may randomly type a Zen koan.) To present yourself as a proper wanker, you'll have to do better than sloppy spelling and atrocious grammar; you also have to demonstrate that you genuinely have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

Make Personal Attacks.
If someone's arguing with you, the best way of refuting them is to call them a 'fag' or a 'Nazi'. ('Pedophile' is rapidly gaining popularity in this regard, too.) Make up wild and false accusations against them: "Mike just got out of prison for raping puppies, so he obviously isn't qualified to have an opinion about Unreal Tournament." Ignore their argument and attack their credibility: "Oh yeah? Why should I listen to someone who sells heroin to kindergarteners?"

Claim False Credentials.
If you're discussing copyright law, claim to be a copyright lawyer. If you're arguing about tobacco's effects on one's health, claim to be a doctor. (No matter what, claim to be a s00per 31337 h4x0r d00d: that always goes over well.) Refuse to provide any substantiating evidence, and for bonus points, grossly misuse jargon.

Make Shit Up.
Are your arguments getting shot down because you can't back them up? No problem: just pull some statistics out of your ass and go nuts. "Well, the crime rate goes down by 33 to 37 percent in states with gun control, so clearly pro-gun control people support mugging little old ladies." If anyone ever asks you where you get your figures, make vague references to articles, journals, or even television programs. "I read an article in the paper a few months ago that showed the earth was only six thousand years old because carbon-dating is bogus." When challenged, make vague references to shadowy conspiracies hiding the truth.

Another good way to make yourself look like a total wanker is to twist other people's positions beyond credibility. If you're arguing with a member of the NRA, for instance, assume that they support private ownership of main battle tanks and rebut appropriately.

Cite Urban Legends.
Chevy Impalas with rocket-assisted take-off packs crashing into cliffs. Tourists waking up without their kidneys in bathtubs full of ice. Swiss aerodynamicists rigorously proving that bumblebees cannot fly. Take these so-called "legends" as gospel. Remember, anything and everything you can find on Snopes is a fact ... unless it has a green dot next to it.

Emphasize and Misinterpret Religion.
Trying to convert your audience to whatever religion (or sect) they're not is a foolproof way of looking like a complete wanker. Be careful; if you've had a religious upbringing, you may accidentally take a familiar, moderate position: this is counterproductive. Insist loudly that the Bible is the literal word of God to a community of skeptics; claim that "deviants" are "going to Hell" on alt.sex ; whatever you do, remember that the best way to convert the heathens is to loudly denigrate their beliefs. Don't actually bother learning about any of the religions you impersonate; feel free to just make shit up.

....

Ramble.
You don't need something as limiting and backwards-thinking as a point to grace all of the IPv4 address space with your wanking writing, hell no! Start your masterwork with a skimpy rebuttal of what the last guy said, then make a fifteen paragraph digression into a dubious explanation of how quantum chromodynamics proves the existence of Atlantis.

If anyone complains that you're off-topic, call them a Nazi.

Post Non Sequiturs.
....

Make Stupid Threats.
When someone takes issue with your writing, never fail to make dark h4x0rly threats about '0wn1ng' their computer. ....

Try to avoid making truly grandiose threats, like breaking into the SAC missile control computer (because, of course, it's gotta be connected to the Internet) and turning their home town into a glowing glass parking lot. People will think that you're being sarcastic, and might even consider you witty.

The author MUST be a USMB member.

 

[rdean]

The problem with conservatives is they don't actually know where gays come from. They really don't.

Many conservatives believe that gays come from San Francisco, rather than "go" there.

And the fact they many gays want to get married? What's that all about. Many straight men only get married because it's the only chance they have of getting laid. So they just assume that with another dude, it's just sex all the time.

What's especially funny, many of those women who marry those guys who only get married for sex, actually, secretly dream about gay guys. They wonder, hmmm, except for the liking guys, "Why can't my man be more like that? Smell good, look good, and say more than, "Hey, bring me a beer" while scratching and readjusting his balls?"

Tell this conservative where "gays come from", rdean.

just smile and nod, rdean is one of those "special" people

See, you guys don't know where gays come from. I was right.

I would tell you, but you wouldn't believe it.

Just for fun, perhaps you could tell us where you think gays come from. Come on, I won't laugh,




much.

 

[Si modo]

Tell this conservative where "gays come from", rdean.

just smile and nod, rdean is one of those "special" people

See, you guys don't know where gays come from. I was right.

I would tell you, but you wouldn't believe it.

Just for fun, perhaps you could tell us where you think gays come from. Come on, I won't laugh,




much.

Awww, the fool doesn't seem to know about shifting burdens and the fools that try it.

 

[DiveCon]

just smile and nod, rdean is one of those "special" people

See, you guys don't know where gays come from. I was right.

I would tell you, but you wouldn't believe it.

Just for fun, perhaps you could tell us where you think gays come from. Come on, I won't laugh,




much.

Awww, the fool doesn't seem to know about shifting burdens and the fools that try it.

i told ya he was "special"

 

[rdean]

See, you guys don't know where gays come from. I was right.

I would tell you, but you wouldn't believe it.

Just for fun, perhaps you could tell us where you think gays come from. Come on, I won't laugh,




much.

Awww, the fool doesn't seem to know about shifting burdens and the fools that try it.

i told ya he was "special"

Ok, I know you would never believe it from me. But I know a few conservatives who could certainly tell you where gays come from. Go ahead, ask them:

Dick Cheney
Newt Gingrigh
Alan Keyes
Phyllis Shaftley
David Drier
Jom Kolbe
Ken Melman
Dan Gurley
Shepard Smith
Jerry Sanders

 

[Si modo]

Awww, the fool doesn't seem to know about shifting burdens and the fools that try it.

i told ya he was "special"

Ok, I know you would never believe it from me. But I know a few conservatives who could certainly tell you where gays come from. Go ahead, ask them:

Dick Cheney
Newt Gingrigh
Alan Keyes
Phyllis Shaftley
David Drier
Jom Kolbe
Ken Melman
Dan Gurley
Shepard Smith
Jerry Sanders

Are your short term memory issues acting up again? You just said conservatives DON'T know where "gays come from". Now you say they do.

 

[KittenKoder]

I don't get it, if two straight women want to get married ... doesn't that make them gay?

 

[DiveCon]

Awww, the fool doesn't seem to know about shifting burdens and the fools that try it.

i told ya he was "special"

Ok, I know you would never believe it from me. But I know a few conservatives who could certainly tell you where gays come from. Go ahead, ask them:

Dick Cheney
Newt Gingrigh
Alan Keyes
Phyllis Shaftley
David Drier
Jom Kolbe
Ken Melman
Dan Gurley
Shepard Smith
Jerry Sanders

Cheney's daughter is gay, and Shep Smith is not a conservative
the rest of that list i'm sure you pulled out of your ass again, as per your usual

 

[DiveCon]

I don't get it, if two straight women want to get married ... doesn't that make them gay?

not if it isnt for sex
just for the financial purposes