Boss
Take a Memo:
Once again, the militant liberals are rolling out the tactical assault for Thanksgiving Day with the family. They are instructing their warriors to take advantage of this opportunity of family gathering to promote the liberal agenda and bash conservatism. Complete with a list of tips and suggestions, they will undoubtedly be armed and ready for battle when you arrive for the annual feast.
Many conservatives are passive on this, preferring to keep their opinions to themselves and not be confrontational. It's sometimes easier to just bite your tongue and let your liberal relative get it out of their system so everyone can get back to watching football and planning Black Friday shopping sprees. Of course, the militant liberals are counting on this complacent behavior in hopes of making some headway pushing their agenda.
I have come up with a plan and I encourage all my fellow conservatives to help me spread the word. When you find yourself sitting at the table trying to enjoy the feast and your flaming liberal cousin starts ranting... quietly take your spoon and scoop up a nice clump of mashed potatoes and catapult them into their face without saying a word. If you've already eaten and you're sitting in the den when the "conversation" begins, quietly get up, go to the kitchen and get a glass of ice water. Approach the offending cousin casually and dump the water on their head as they are reeling off talking points. Finally, if you are already in the car travelling to the Black Friday sales and they start their rant... pull over, go around to their side, open the door and snatch them out by the hair of the head and leave them sitting on the side of the road.
No need for confrontation, no need to engage in pointless debate, no need to let them mess up a beautiful moment with your family. We do not have to tolerate this. I have found that, as juvenile as it sounds, a nice clump of mashed potatoes to the face is unexpected. They don't know how to deal with it. If they continue to rant, pummel them with dinner rolls until they shut the fuck up.
If we conservatives all stick together with this plan we can return civility to family holidays.
Many conservatives are passive on this, preferring to keep their opinions to themselves and not be confrontational. It's sometimes easier to just bite your tongue and let your liberal relative get it out of their system so everyone can get back to watching football and planning Black Friday shopping sprees. Of course, the militant liberals are counting on this complacent behavior in hopes of making some headway pushing their agenda.
I have come up with a plan and I encourage all my fellow conservatives to help me spread the word. When you find yourself sitting at the table trying to enjoy the feast and your flaming liberal cousin starts ranting... quietly take your spoon and scoop up a nice clump of mashed potatoes and catapult them into their face without saying a word. If you've already eaten and you're sitting in the den when the "conversation" begins, quietly get up, go to the kitchen and get a glass of ice water. Approach the offending cousin casually and dump the water on their head as they are reeling off talking points. Finally, if you are already in the car travelling to the Black Friday sales and they start their rant... pull over, go around to their side, open the door and snatch them out by the hair of the head and leave them sitting on the side of the road.
No need for confrontation, no need to engage in pointless debate, no need to let them mess up a beautiful moment with your family. We do not have to tolerate this. I have found that, as juvenile as it sounds, a nice clump of mashed potatoes to the face is unexpected. They don't know how to deal with it. If they continue to rant, pummel them with dinner rolls until they shut the fuck up.
If we conservatives all stick together with this plan we can return civility to family holidays.
