# How much wood?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Big Black Dog, Jan 9, 2010.

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### Big Black DogGold MemberSupporting Member

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Does anybody know the answer to this question?

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### Wry CatcherPlatinum Member

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IF a woodchuck could chuck wood, then a woodchuck could chuck as much wood as a woodcuck could chuck wood. Of course.

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### dilloduckDiamond Member

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### paperviewLife is Good

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### Big Black DogGold MemberSupporting Member

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That's an awful lot of wood chucking. Are you sure?

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### mudwhistleDiamond Member

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Wait a sec.....let me get my tape-measure

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### paperviewLife is Good

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Well, it depends on the wood, and how good the woodchuck's choppers chop.

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### paperviewLife is Good

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There is a more precise formula though:

(W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1.
As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3 units of wood.

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### dilloduckDiamond Member

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As long as those furry fuckers can chuck it faster than I can burn it, I don't care.

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### uscitizenSenior Member

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How much ground could a groundhog grind if a gournd hog could grind ground?

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